Turns out that my posts are just getting short... I have so much to say and so much in my heart, but it seems as though I can never concentrate my thoughts long enough to make a beautiful succinct piece of writing anymore. :)
Once upon a time, I used this blog as a way to motivate myself and others to continue to progress in their health and fitness. While I totally back girls who are working out to better themselves simply for aesthetic reasons, because I believe in loving your body... This is also to support peeps who really want to better themselves, progress their physical fitness, and work on long-term health. I guess its safe to say that I semi-fell away from that, mostly because I was in preparation for my first competition.
Yes, there will be competitions for me in the future - the fire in my heart never died. I desperately want to hit the stage again... But just like anything, there is a process. And while working through an injury, the process is slow.. but any progression is good.
SO! I'm happy to report that I am progressing. My diet has been tight, which has been the only thing I've been able to control with my hip injury. I'm up to doing hot yoga 3x a week, and doing cardio 3x a week with a light lift (OMG YAY!). I basically can only do upper body at this point and core, no lower back strenuous movements, but that is WAY better than I was doing last month. I'm not walking around like a hunchback, my transitions from sitting to standing are fluid (finally!) and I'm definitely not having major muscle spasms anymore - which means, I'm completely off medication again! WOOT!
My goal throughout the healing process, was to be able to get to regular lifting by September, and I think I'm on track with that. By all intents and purposes, I am lifting regularly, so I suppose I should clarify that I mean regular lifting WITH LEGS by Sept.
{It's not about how many times you get knocked down, it's about how many times you get knocked down and continue to get up.}
So, here is my beginning of August progress pic. For myself, I am going to start posting my progress... and once I feel comfortable with it... A whole segment on my legs & backside... because this is going to be a serious project. ;)
Oy, this is hard... My legs have far to go... I do always love my shoulder roundness!
What's everyone working on now?? What body part are you working hard on or what goals are you crushing?? Because I KNOW you are!!! :)
I have been close yet distant, and vague yet detailed about my life. It’s so easy to show the best sides of one’s life, but not quite as easy to show the other sides. I think that I always feel that “everyone else is struggling, why would anyone want to listen to my struggle or hear me complain?” But I find myself in a more problematic predicament, that there is no way around. There is no way to change it, or sit around and hope that one day my schedule clears up so I can have my workout or blog time back.
Have you heard of the Facebook Depression? I was reading that its basically when you get depressed because you see all of the highlights of someone else’s life on their Facebook. Ha! Its true. I can’t tell you how many Stay at Home Mom’s Facebooks I stalk and Sigh at. Or see cute pictures of friends having a wonderful time with their cute kids, on the daily.
So, I’m just here to reiterate that my life isn’t always swell, and in fact, I struggle, I work and I know that most of you know where I’m at: Overstressed and injured with no time. And thus comes the struggle to be more.
We Support Each Other’s Dreams
There was a period of time where I could focus on my dreams completely, and then there was a period of time where I even had help achieving my dream. But right now, I’m in a period in life, where my husband needs my talents in order to achieve his dreams which is provide for our family and make us to be more than we currently are… but the journey is a lot longer than contest prep. It cannot be condensed into 12, 16 or even 20 weeks. In fact, this is now my life indefinitely.
When last year I anticipated that I would be busy, I did not stop to even consider the long term. I now work a 50 hour work week at my hospital job, and if I’m lucky, I only spend an extra 20 hours doing Administrative support for Bang’s Lawn Care. And I don’t earn a dime for this. And sometimes he needs help with jobs, which I also don’t get a cent for.
What I’m earning is a new life, a better life than what we have now. Supporting my husband’s dream has been even more challenging than trying for my own. This has meant endless meetings in order to learn accounting, learning all about owning a business, having employees and getting into radio advertising. I have become increasingly interested in Branding and Marketing, all to make this dream come true. Not to mention, just being a normal person and making time for anyone in my life is a huge struggle. One in which almost no one understands, and I get flack about it almost weekly – And I respond kindly, without excuses, even though that is not my first reaction.
But I’m Not Done!
And yet, when you spend all your time simply trying to make a living and support someone else’s dream… It’s not like yours goes anywhere. It’s still there. Inside my heart.Waiting for the time.
So this is the struggle. My heart feels the need to work toward my goals, even though I have almost no time to do so and have body limitations that are beyond my training knowledge. It’s depressing to look at workout plans and practically dissect them to weed out all of the exercises that are contraindicated for my conditions. Can’t squat. Can’t deadlift. Can’t machine hack squat. Can’t do some plyos. Can’t lunge. Can’t do any direct glute or hip work.
And don’t get me started on how long this has been. This has, by far, been the longest recovery period of my life. 6 months of hip healing, that has been incredibly painful both physically and mentally. I often feel lost.
In my lostness, there is a righteous anger. I’m fed up with hurting. Being in constant pain, makes me angry enough to work harder than I have in the past. I’m trying to work smarter and be in control of my plans… My plans that will be enacted the moment I have free time.
Upward and Onward
I’ve decided to no longer hide my struggles or hide my life. This blog IS about hard work isn’t it?? I'm weeding out the negatives in my life, and have decided to no longer spend my time "holding on". Because that is what it has seemed like. Holding on until the next moment where I can breathe and do what I want. But just like worry, there is no sense in being miserable if I don't have to be. And I definitely don't!
This now has to be what I want. In order for our business to become all that it can, and in order for me to achieve my own dreams, I have to want everything I have to do within each and every single day. I want to work. I want to do invoicing. And I NEED my workout time. I don't have time, I make time.
The Struggle to Be More
The interesting thing about life, is sometimes it requires you to become a better person. I never realized how incredibly selfish I was until my personal time was challenged, along with my patience, ego, commitment, and honor as a wife.
I'm struggling to be more of everything. Everything that life is requiring of me right now. Its almost like prep, you trust the plan that it will yield results. I rely solely on the hope that if I work hard and struggle long enough to be more... I will just be more.
Where do you struggle to be more than you are? How do you make yourself happy when committing your time to others??
Life from my view..
Now, while I have been absent to this blog, I haven't been absent to life. I know I have stated before that I have just been incredibly busy (aren't we all?!), but most of it has been working overtime. MAJOR overtime. My workspace and the protocols in which we conduct our office has gone through a large over-haul which had begun during last prep and will likely continue through the next year to two years, and I have been a big player in creating new and innovative ideas that will reduce duplication and time-wasters.
Also! I've been studying for the certification of my position.. So anyway, my time is pretty limited.
Seasons.
I had thought at one time that if you truly love something, that is kept up all the time. Full-time, never goes away. EVAR. But when prep ended, I was flat burnt out. I couldn't even think about fitness and mostly didn't want to. I can tell you that I really really wanted to work out but was so short on time, because that's what I was telling myself. I kept trying to reinforce what I should be doing, and should be eating, created dozens of diet plans for myself, devised many cardio plans, and initiated some training plans... But this just wasn't the season for hard training.
And I was kidding myself. I could not just LET GO of what I wanted to use in life to make myself feel proud. Then I got injured. I strained my SI again. Which was probably the result of hard glute training and not enough stretching... And then just stopping the training.
When excessive behavior swings too far in to excess, we either 1-die or 2-change. And I've found that in the far excess, with enough desire to change, the pendulum finds itself on a swift path to the other side. And in that journey, I found myself passing over good healthy diets that kept me sane. I attempted diets that hooked me into results... which was fine at the time. Or so I thought it would be. Turns out I wasn't. Turns out when the metaphorical pendulum in me began to traverse back down, I lost the control to stop it.
Obviously the worst thing about all of this, isn't the weight gained. Of course it crosses my mind what people think about me.. They watched me lose 75 lbs, and then rebound back with 20 lbs post contest. And that hurts. Its honestly what has kept me away from this blog. I combat the embarrassment and anger all the time.
I whine about the season of life I'm in. I'll admit it. Right now I'm in the season of studying and working hard, which is honestly just as uncomfortable as prep was. To comfort where I actually wanted to be, which is the gym, is to eat and eat comfort food to make my day not so grueling. If it seems so opposite, that's because it is.
Its easy for some to say "Quit that behavior", but it is genuinely very difficult for some to do. Its a day to day struggle that I have to make a conscious decision on.
First of all, the back thing.
Yeah, so... 9 years ago I was a stupid kid who thought I was way better at rock climbing than I actually was. It was August and 100 degrees outside and I traversed a rock face that I had climbed before, but never without being roped in. Long story short, I ended up with a titanium cage around my spinal cord and a spinal fusion of the T12-L2. It still gives me issues to this day.
Recently my doctor found that there had been some loosening of my hardware which is causing me major muscle spasms. It feels like my whole Lat muscle on both sides has a charlie horse. ALL OVER IT. It sends electric pains down my legs. Needless to say it had me very worried. I talked to a neurosurgeon who felt that the risk of surgery would be greater than the benefit would be, so I am only to continue with physical therapy. I have always been afraid of this situation. Knowing what goes into surgical procedures is my job, and it is common knowledge that knee or hip replacements are only meant to last 10-15 years... How long could a spine replacement last?!
LUCKILY! This week, my overtime goes down and I start PT.
Well, I got average.
In all of this, I forgot my reason to be great. Since I have been in pain and forced to not lift, it was like a part of my soul had been forcibly taken. My standards fell, and so did my confidence. And thus, all my motivation.
I love the Biggest Loser, and seeing Jillian back!
I'm not interested in being a cardio bunny. Sure, I like a hard run, but I don't believe that ever doing one thing only will bring you good results. Our bodies were designed for adversity. Although I will not be running anytime soon, I crave the ability to sweat hard from a terribly hard workout. I can't even push my body that hard at this point. However, studies have shown that the best people, happiest, highest powered, most wise, recently wealthy, is due to the simple fact that they faced adversity and overcame it.
The same studies have shown that people who have everything handed to them in life, end up less wealthy, less wise, and more depressed. Excess isn't a positive thing when not earned. (I can certainly provide references, if someone REALLY has an issue with this statement. In which case, you're probably spoiled rotten. LOL!)
We CRAVE things to make ourselves proud.
And it isn't like I got overweight, I'm not. Just average.
But if there is anything I am positive about myself, is that I am not average.
So, in the coming weeks follow me on my journey to recovery. I will show what I am learning about keeping a healthy spine, and track my progress in getting back to my goal strength! I am less concerned about my body weight, as I am being strong and my body being functional.
Stay tuned! First PT appointment & beginning progress pics this week!
My life is absolutely crazy right now. Aside from the holiday hustle & bustle, we are constantly working on our house projects while the weather is still relatively mild, I had 3 good friends get engaged over the Christmas weekend, I'm an aunt for the 5th time on Christmas Eve, my sister gave birth to my beautiful niece Hailey Davis (maiden names are always the middle names in their family), and I have been working like a mad woman at my new job.
Exhausted.
My new job has been nutso. There are so many different facets to what needs to get done in this job, its amazing. Last week, I will admit, I had been working so hard and trying to get everything done that I completely went a full work day without food (don't ask) and I think I had to be told to go home no less than 3 times last week. This week is a bit better, starting to get more in the groove, however, I still have crazier weeks to come this January. But this week I have been better with my meal times.
Anyway, if you have emailed me, texted me, facebooked me, tweeted me, called me and I have not gotten back to you... I'm so sorry! Just give me a kind reminder and I will. :) Also sorry I haven't read any of your blogs! Work is really cramping my style right now.
Ouch.
I wasn't real excited about this. I mean, its hard to get excited about an injury but just wanted to show you all the severity of the injury as well as what I am doing to work on healing.
I was also not real excited about taking and showing these photos. But our bodies show the reality of our lives and choices and this is my reality of where I am in starting prep. I discussed my injury with my prep coach and he feels we have adequate time to work on healing and start prep. But that does mean diet needs to be clean right now, which is has been... but for me right now it means that I just need to be on guard for other random foods around this time of year, instead of being lackadaisical about my nutrition. My FBM content is slightly lower than my last prep, I have about 2 lbs more muscle (which put me at 98.5 LBM, right where I wanted to be), and definitely have my work cut out for me.
At first, like I said I wasn't really excited about taking and showing these photos. But the more I look at them, the better I see myself. I think my mind has been skewed in how I see myself. I think NOT doing my competition in October was worse on my self-esteem than anything else. But at any rate, you can tell I've increased some muscle mass... although my frame shows the fat I've put on, it definitely holds differently. Still mostly in my love-handles and tum tum, but I can still see some V-Cut going on and feel stronger (aside from my low back).
See that horrible scoliosis looking gross spine curvature?! My body is trying desperately to take weight off my hip. These were taken last Tuesday (12/13). But I was walking everyday, like I was told to. And have been able to run a few times in this last week. I even did abs on Monday! I could still feel the strain in my back, so I only did a few sets and listened to my body. But yeah, can definitely tell a difference in my tummy an addition of muscle. :) Kind of excited to see what it looks like underneath!
Prep.
I'm officially in hard core prep on Monday. Meaning, no option of sleeping in versus am cardio. :) Again, I'm committing to the Emerald Cup in Seattle on April 21st and probably the Empire Classic on April 28th. Also considering the Bill Pearl Classic in Bend, OR on May 12th but we will see (pretty much only if this prep goes smoother than last time, boyfriends only stay with emotional wrecks for so long haha). Yep, still planning on Bikini... May try my hand at Figure at the Empire Classic, just for fun. I'll admit that while I want my body to look more like bikini.... I have a figure back. Its just the truth. I was a swimmer for years and just have a thicker back.
So anyway, since I have taken up 23 minutes of work time typing this up I had better get back at it (okay seriously, this is my only time to do this stuff!) and get some breakfast... Next week there will be progress pictures!
Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas holiday and Take it easy out there on New Years people! ;)
My sincere prayer for all athletes and non-athletes alike is that you will never have to deal with the pain and stress of a broken back.
(True) Stories.
In August of 2005, after having so much fun rock climbing and developing an invincible ego, I fell while unharnessed and unbelayed 80 feet up on the face of a familiar rock. The move that would forever change my life was my last of the day and completing it would have meant me looking down and walking to my car unscathed. However, that isn't what happened. As previously mentioned, I was 80 feet up a rock face and on my last move. I was in a position that looks like this:
With a leg and arm in a cravasse, the other leg & arm on smooth rock. It only meant pushing my body up and I would have been done with my climb for the day. Except my foot that was on smooth rock had one problem: It was on smooth rock. It slipped and subsequently swung me in that direction pulling my foot and other hand out of its secure placement in the cravasse, which meant only my left hand on smooth rock was placed. And that couldn't last long. And it didn't.
What I get asked a lot, is what was going through my head at that point? Honestly, all I could think about was "How am I going to survive this?" I had a very strange and clear moment, which felt like an eternity, although only a few seconds. I knew I was going to fall. The only thing I could control was how I was going to fall. My first thought was to try to regain my placement in the cravasse, but decided against it as I felt struggling could mean completely losing placement and falling 80 feet to my death. My second thought was trying to fall to the ledge I could see 30 feet below me. During my moment of clarity, I thought "how do I land?" I considered landing on my side, I considered landing on my feet. And with that, my right hand gave out.
I fell 30 feet to the ledge below, skidding on my feet, and landing on my butt. With the force of a 120 lbs woman falling 30 feet to only meet the force of a rock, my L1 vertebrae absorbed the stress of both forces... and burst.
Shockingly enough, with the hundreds of tiny splinters that were now surrounding my spinal cord, none of them actually pierced my spinal cord. Aside from coming very close to death, I was just barely tip-toe'ing around being paralyzed from the waist down. Fast forward 24 hours, and I had already been on the news and in a hospital bed. Although completely humiliated, stressed, ashamed, and hurt, I went through a complete L1 vertebrectomy (removing the vertebrae) and a T12 thru L2 Spinal Fusion (fusing the 3 vertebrae with a titanium cage). I became a whole inch shorter.
(Painful) Problems.
So, let me just explain the vast array of issues associated with the fun experience I had above. If I thought breaking my back would be the worst of my problems at that point, I was dead wrong.
After 3 months off from work, wearing a gigantic back brace all day every day, 4 physical therapy appointments a week for 12 weeks, massage therapy once a week for 12 weeks (By the way, ALL OF WHICH I could not drive myself to) and a cabinet full of muscle relaxers, pain killers and anti-inflammatory's... I was deemed well enough to work again.
As I went back into the work force, I was still in pain... I couldn't stand for more than a half an hour which was a problem at work, and doing chores, and taking a shower (I had a chair for the shower). I couldn't sit for more than 5 minutes, which was a huge problem when driving and going to church. I was on so many drugs I had become constipated which was very very difficult considering there is no "pushing" when you cannot even contract your core muscles. Rectal suppositories was something my mother and I faced daily, and when you are 20 years old it is simply humiliating, but I couldn't twist my back in any way. But my love for my mother changed at that point.
Laughing, sneezing, coughing was all difficult for months. I couldn't eat with friends, sit in a movie, go shopping without being extremely uncomfortable, which was obviously hard for my friends who would want to show me a good time when I wasn't working. Most nights of the week, by the end of the day I was completely hunched over, not able to stand up straight whatsoever, because my back muscles were so exhausted. I gained weight due to being sedentary which made the pain worse. I think you all know the end of the story is that I lost weight and my back pain became controllable. And for the most part, it is.
This weekend (just as my diet and exercise regimen became exciting again, of course) I experienced it again. I woke up Saturday morning with such intense pain I could barely get out of bed. Riding in the car, I had to have the seat fully reclined. I couldn't sit at all. I had to be lying down or standing. Pain levels interest me greatly just because of the great difference people can have in their tolerance. And although you might be in great pain, no one can ever understand what that feels like to you. Doctors even. And often times, I think because they see so many drug seekers, they aren't really sure how to treat your pain as more than just pain. What I seek, isn't to control my pain. I seek to control my pain by making my body stronger and therefore not having pain by eradicating the problem.
After 6 years of working hard to keep my body healthy and make it strong, one wrong move can bring you to your knees. And for me, the pain has literally brought me to my knees multiple times.
I tell you this big long story really just to say:
Take care of your body BEFORE it becomes necessity and BEFORE you can't anymore.
The doctor told me that I have strained my SI (sacro-iliac) muscle which has tightened up around my sciatic nerve. Pain shoots down the sides of my legs to my ankles. I can't really sit on the right side of my hips. When I walk, I look like I have scoliosis as my body tries to contort to take pressure off my right hip. There is no chance I will be lifting anytime soon. I start more rounds of physical therapy, massage therapy and living life only to get the pain down starting today. I would rather my time be spent on bettering my body, but I will take walking over not. I will take mobility over being flat on my back, which always means baby steps. I can't be greedy, that got me where I am today.
There are times when I see people doing only minimum work at the gym, like on the elliptical and not sweating, and I think to myself, "Those people are never going to get anywhere if they don't push themselves!" Shame on me for ever judging a person. Because for a while, I am genuinely only going to be able to do light walking or light elliptical as it turns out.
My Prayer.
My prayer and plea for all of you is that you never have to experience debilitating pain. Much less for the rest of your life. Take care of your body before you aren't able to. Stretch your muscles, warm up before your workouts, drink enough water! I very much encourage yoga to keep your mobility... because our spines were made to bend backward just as much as forward, and stretching those muscles will help with your overall health.
Athletes and non-athletes alike all deserve a healthy body. Most diabetics don't change their diet even after they're diagnosed with diabetes. And most athletes don't begin a strong stretching regimen until after they sprain something. Most people don't start taking care of their bodies until something goes wrong, you owe it to yourself to be smarter than that. You are smarter than that.
I'm off to some massage therapy to hopefully relieve some pain. By the way, even though I'm not working out currently, diet has not faltered. Diet is just as important to the health of the body. :) Isn't it interesting that people used to wish each other good health? That is because it truly is one of the important things in life. Hope you all are doing well and are HEALTHY beyond belief! Merry Christmas! :)
Like everything in my blog lately, I don't know how to say all the things that are in my heart and mind. I'm also really sick, which kind of exacerbates the confusion. :)
Breaking news: I have withdrawn from Night of Champions.
I'm just too sick with pneumonia. I know when to say "When." I realize that I have been looking forward stepping on stage, and I still look forward to that day. There were plenty of reasons why I was being advised by my family and doctor to not continue with Night of Champions... But I needed my own reasons if I was to withdraw. I started this for me, and if I was going to end it... It would be because of my own free will.
I wanted to compete being able to fully enjoy it. I wanted to do it knowing I did everything I could to be there in the healthiest way possible. And that just cannot take place at this time. As I went along, I wondered... do I want to spend all this money to get on stage (hair, makeup, nails, tanning, waxing, etc.) when I can't even feel like I enjoy it? Would that have made it worth it? Just simply completing the task? Just get on stage and pose, knowing my smile wouldn't be as genuine? Would I value that experience?
I started this for me and I cannot feel upset at ending it for me. I spent a good long 8 months bulking, 17 weeks leaning out, and now its time to go back into a bulk phase. And when contest prep comes again, it will be time to lean out again.
It would be really easy for me to let insecurity come in after making this decision. Insecurity and regret are the biggest stumbling blocks after a situation occurs that is out of our control. But,
I do not feel that I am a quitter, because I did not quit and have not lost resolve for the end result of the stage.
I have no reason to feel insecure about my decision because it truly was out of my control.
I have no reason to feel any regret because my time to hit the stage will come.
I have no reason to feel sorry, because I was making this all happen for me.
I have no reason to feel disappointment, because I am not one. I am extremely proud of my progress.
I have already had a plan in place of my off-season plans and as soon as I am well, I fully intend to jumping straight into that and leaving no room or time for the negative emotions to overwhelm me. More blog posts about that later. :) There is no looking back. Only forward. And here was my last progress pic taken Monday.
I am just a little bloated from being sick... But at least you guys could kinda see what I look like in my new bikini. :)
This will only prove that I need work on my perseverance, which is getting a nice long 6 months to do so. This will begin work on dieting to maintain, and not lose... which is actually a task I have not ever had before. I've been losing weight for almost a 2 solid years!
I really appreciate the kind, solid, motivating, encouraging, uplifting, and memorable words you all have given me over the course of this contest prep. I really appreciate ALL OF YOU! Your words kept me going when I thought I could not inch up one more step on the stair mill! Your encouragement helped me get down the fish I didn't want to eat. And all of your lives inspire me to continue just being the kind of person I'd want to know! I love each and every one of you and the lives you live. Your lives and normalcy inspire me. Finding time to fit it all in within your busy schedules, makes me not feel quite so alone in the world with our mutual love of training, food, yoga, and health. All of you ladies who compete, I admire so much. I appreciate all of your wisdom and words from experience. You all have been completely invaluable in my experience!
Thank you all again!
And so now I have Walking Pneumonia. Again, this is difficult to write. I have been an action taker... and it would be easy for me to continue... Which is probably why I have walking pneumonia. In fact, I was sworn not to do anything around my house today (SO HARD).
I thought this was just the flu because I was getting sick my stomach. Turns out that was probably due more to getting dizzy and short of breath at the same time. Probably easy to see by others, but I've also been feelings slightly confused due to the dizziness. I started coughing up brown stuff and knew it was time for the doctor. I have the rest of the week off from work.
I find myself in turmoil about competing. On one hand, I have trained so hard for this. 10 months and all of my hopes and dreams.
But on the other hand, shouldn't I be happy with what I've accomplished to this point? Do I need to step on stage to be satisfied? Or can I be satisfied with getting to this point? There are always other competitions... but is that a good enough back up?
I really just want to feel better. And at 5 days out, I was too sick to be up and down off the couch to keep up with 2 gallons a day. I was getting really out of breath sitting up, and walking around made me dizzy. Sad thing is some part of me was really trying, so I was taking in a lot of sodium... but like I said, just hadn't been able to keep up on the water. And my body feels excessively bloated. To the point where I feel like I am nowhere near ready to stepping on stage.
I was the couch, trying to assess myself, this journey, my dreams and current needs. I watched Legally Blonde; something about Elle Woods' confident and remarkably self assured attitude was exactly what I needed in my life.
{ "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't kill their husbands. They just don't!" }
Elle is so wise. That actually makes me itch for working out. I haven't had one of those since Thursday! Wherever I am at and whatever I do in the next week, by the time I am able to workout, I will be craving it... And that I can feel good about.
And then it happened, I got news that a package I had been waiting for was indeed waiting for me at my mom's house (UPS won't deliver to the house, we have large freely roaming dogs. LOL!).
And what do you know. It was my big surprise. My BIKINI suit came in the mail. :) Although, I began this journey training for figure... the more I leaned out the better I felt suited for the Bikini Division, and I felt like my heavy figure training helped me gain the athletic physique Bikini seems to be looking for, but tend to have fat in some of the right places :) . It is what I like better on my body. But let me TELL you! Learning to pose has been one big challenge!
But putting on my coral pink bikini, gave me back my purpose and direction. I could be happy with not stepping on stage, but I wouldn't be proud. I can hold out for 4 more days. I might be bloated, but I genuinely feel that whatever I step on stage with on Saturday will be my best given my crazy situation. And for that I can be proud. And in the future, I can only expect to be better.
I had considered entering both divisions, and it was something I wanted to do... But I just honestly couldn't afford both entry fees. I was having difficulty paying for food so doing both entry's was out of the question at $75 each.
So there it is! LOL! That's the surprise! I was actually feeling slightly insecure about the decision at first, so I just wanted to keep it to myself until I felt most confident in my decision. Which I knew would be right before. And I could feel a lot of insecurity right now considering that I can be a very OCD person, and Peak Week isn't going at all how I wanted or imagined it going. But I am deciding to let this teach me a lesson:
~{ No matter if it is or isn't what I thought it would be or wanted it to be, whatever I bring to the stage right now, is perfect. It won't be perfect for future competitions, but it is perfect for me right now. It is my very best. }~
Movie line up for the week: The Patriot, Braveheart, and The Blind Side. Looking to have courage in my conviction! Just 4 short days! :)
I knew something was going on. For YEARS my knees have creaked. Literally, it sounds like you're rubbing rocks together when I bend my knees.
And not only that, but since I have started trying to run again my knees get pains when I'm not running, creaking, very sore on the bottoms of my feet (noticed this a lot when I began doing plyos consistently- was called Plantar Fasciitis by the doc), shin splints, and pains in my ankles. And I can't even tell you how many times I've sprained my ankles by rolling them out caused by this.
SO, it turns out I have foot over-supination. Luckily, I noticed it early and it isn't advanced at all.
And also luckily, it is fixable. Since I noticed my feet doing this I have tried to do everything differently... Walk on a different part of my foot, run differently but more than anything just not turn my feet out. He said Orthotics would be a last resort, but I should try to just be conscious of my feet and change a few things.
Changes will be made to the following all on doctor recommendation:
No more leg extensions: Apparently, the leg extension machine (for a shorty) only has a tendency to shove your knee cap up. Good riddance, I like squats better anyway.
Can't walk barefoot much: I usually don't anyway.. We have tile floors in our country home and I'm most often in my Uggs.
Hamstring Stretching: TO MY YOGIS - PROOF YOGA HEALS: Doctor said that stretching my hamstrings will eventually pull my patella back into place! Hello yoga! :)
New Training Shoes: YES!!
Only running 2-3x a week: This just means slower running progress. Oh well. :| Was also told I shouldn't do Bloomsday as I wouldn't have time to train for it (Sorry dad! We'll talk!)
Toe Curls: LOL! This literally made me laugh, I've gotta do weight lifting for my toes... sort of. Building up my foot muscles apparently will help with the fasciitis and help with my running endurance when I do run.
What challenges do you battle in your quest for health?
