Hardest Post to Write. Ever.

Like everything in my blog lately, I don't know how to say all the things that are in my heart and mind. I'm also really sick, which kind of exacerbates the confusion. :)

Breaking news: I have withdrawn from Night of Champions.

I'm just too sick with pneumonia. I know when to say "When." I realize that I have been looking forward stepping on stage, and I still look forward to that day. There were plenty of reasons why I was being advised by my family and doctor to not continue with Night of Champions... But I needed my own reasons if I was to withdraw. I started this for me, and if I was going to end it... It would be because of my own free will.

I wanted to compete being able to fully enjoy it. I wanted to do it knowing I did everything I could to be there in the healthiest way possible. And that just cannot take place at this time. As I went along, I wondered... do I want to spend all this money to get on stage (hair, makeup, nails, tanning, waxing, etc.) when I can't even feel like I enjoy it? Would that have made it worth it? Just simply completing the task? Just get on stage and pose, knowing my smile wouldn't be as genuine? Would I value that experience?

I started this for me and I cannot feel upset at ending it for me. I spent a good long 8 months bulking, 17 weeks leaning out, and now its time to go back into a bulk phase. And when contest prep comes again, it will be time to lean out again.

It would be really easy for me to let insecurity come in after making this decision. Insecurity and regret are the biggest stumbling blocks after a situation occurs that is out of our control. But,
I do not feel that I am a quitter, because I did not quit and have not lost resolve for the end result of the stage.
I have no reason to feel insecure about my decision because it truly was out of my control.
I have no reason to feel any regret because my time to hit the stage will come.
I have no reason to feel sorry, because I was making this all happen for me. 
I have no reason to feel disappointment, because I am not one. I am extremely proud of my progress.

I have already had a plan in place of my off-season plans and as soon as I am well, I fully intend to jumping straight into that and leaving no room or time for the negative emotions to overwhelm me. More blog posts about that later. :) There is no looking back. Only forward. And here was my last progress pic taken Monday.

I am just a little bloated from being sick... But at least you guys could kinda see what I look like in my new bikini. :)

This will only prove that I need work on my perseverance, which is getting a nice long 6 months to do so. This will begin work on dieting to maintain, and not lose... which is actually a task I have not ever had before. I've been losing weight for almost a 2 solid years!

I really appreciate the kind, solid, motivating, encouraging, uplifting, and memorable words you all have given me over the course of this contest prep. I really appreciate ALL OF YOU! Your words kept me going when I thought I could not inch up one more step on the stair mill! Your encouragement helped me get down the fish I didn't want to eat. And all of your lives inspire me to continue just being the kind of person I'd want to know! I love each and every one of you and the lives you live. Your lives and normalcy inspire me. Finding time to fit it all in within your busy schedules, makes me not feel quite so alone in the world with our mutual love of training, food, yoga, and health. All of you ladies who compete, I admire so much. I appreciate all of your wisdom and words from experience. You all have been completely invaluable in my experience!
Thank you all again!

9

Are we ready for this???

So, I have 9 days left of this madness, then cycling off my diet & so much cardio over the coming weeks. I have loved this process and am stoked to be in the best shape of my life and leaner than I have ever been. But I am ready for an off-season. I am ready to be my boyfriend's girlfriend. I am ready to make soup again every Sunday and bake whenever I felt like it. I am ready to have more time at home with my dogs and more time to give to my whole family in general. I am ready for some R&R (literally in every capacity).

But not yet. :)

Facts.
This coming week will mark my 18th full week on Contest Prep and mark the 10th month I have been preparing to step on stage. I haven't loved every minute of it, I am ready for it to be over... BUT I am very thankful for it. I spent a solid 6 months building my back, shoulders & shaping everything. Then to have spent a long 18 weeks leaning out... I am beyond thankful. Contest Prep has put me into a pattern and I am embracing that, especially with my off-season plans.

I'm hungry.

Diet.
Sunday brought a change. No more casein before bed. Wahhhh! We are trying to let my system flush out anything processed and therefore shed any of the water weight it causes. I had the option of doing any meat source I wanted, so I've decided to do egg whites before bed...
First attempt: Egg whites, cinnamon, a dropper full of vanilla stevia, sea salt. Was trying to go for the breakfast for dinner kind of thing... It was alright!
Second attempt: Egg whites, pumpkin pie spice, a dropper of stevia & sea salt. It was okay this time. I liked the flavor better, but towards the end of my dish... It seemed less than appealing.
Third attempt: Went with hot sauce because I was too tired to be creative.

Diet Stories.
On Wednesday, I was peeling egg whites off of hard boiled eggs (like I do..), and my co-worker asked if she could have one of my eggs (... she meant just the yokes)... I can tell you I almost lost it. I freaked out, turned bright red, started sweating as I tried to explain to her that I am just on the bare minimum of nutrition and need EVERYTHING to keep going. As she explained she just wanted my yokes, I felt my blood pressure go down. But seriously people, don't ask to have my food. I will give you an emphatic and loud "NO!"
(Okay, Wednesday I was hitting a new level of crazy)
THEN, I got my diet plan for Saturday thru Peak Week. SQUEEEEEEEE!!!! That was the light at the end of the tunnel that I needed. And what is on it for show day?? PANCAKES! I can't believe carb up time is ALMOST here!! But until then, I have noticed I am always hungry. ALWAYS. Again, I'm eating every 2-2.5 hours... but getting hunger anxiety around an hour (Before my family chimes in that I'm not being healthy, I am getting PLENTY of water, electrolytes, vitamins, minerals, and protein). I can do this... Only a few more days...

Training.
Monday I went into cardio with full force. I had some extra energy somehow and pumped it out like nothing. To the point where I left the gym before work excited to go back in the afternoon to show myself what I was made of!
Tuesday I was tired. Almost always to be expected after pushing really hard one day. Except this time, I want to feel like I've done everything I could. And its my last chance. I was exceedingly tired and somehow pushed thru a run around in the country surrounding our home. :) It was incredible. I just kept saying in my head, "F**k this, I can do it." I keep being told to conserve my energy and walk if need be, but if I have the energy or desire, why not? What is the worst that could happen? I lose energy and walk like I was supposed to? I was proud of myself and went to bed feeling like a goddess. Because having the opportunity to go home gave me extra time for laundry and to catch up around the house. :)
Wednesday I woke up extra tired as for some reason, and for as tired I was... I didn't sleep a wink. I considered going for a run in the middle of the night, but don't really want to be eaten by anything. I got up at 345 and made it to cardio.

Posing.
Every day this week. There is no reason not to at this point. I might be tired etc, but it is necessary being this close. :) Fact, there were a couple days in there this week that I practiced before and after my PM workout session.
AND! On Tuesday, I got to pose in front of a lovely new friend, Stacy, who also uses my trainer for her nutrition! Thanks for being my guinea pig Stacy!! :) I am definitely trying to practice in front of new people, helps me take the edge off.
I do just want to say however, that I know that the point of this period of time is to squeeze every molecule of glycogen out of the muscles, but DAMN! I look super skinny. I look deflated and tired. I am very much looking forward to my rest day on Sunday and carbing up next week.

Stage Stuff.
All my appts are booked like I've said, but now its just waiting for them to happen.

Off-Season.
SO excited for a build. Like I mentioned last week, my body will be in prime condition for a build... I have been losing fat for so long (18 weeks, 12%, and 12 lbs later, maybe more before ...), my muscles are aching for something to hold onto. And I am going to give them just that! :) All of my off-season plans will be enclosed in a later post, but again... Just so excited to build in certain areas. I spent a good long time building before contest prep, and have much more experience this time around. But, I am looking at my physique as it is... and as I am very lean now... and seeing what muscles I want to improve... Its hard to wait when you want to work on something! Just like it was hard to wait for contest prep! ;)
But in all body-builder seriousness, that's kind of just what you do... You build, and then lean out... you build, and then lean out. Woot!

Misc.
*Chelsea, I know exactly what you mean. My list of recipes is getting very long. VERY long. :)
Although I have a thousand things I need to bake, I am limiting myself. But this way it (whatever I make) does continue to be viewed as a treat, and not normalcy that I can have everyday. Except for Sunday right after my contest. Sunday, I am allowing myself to bake 4 items. And most of it will be taken to various people that deserve a treat for putting up with my crazy these last 10 months, in this order:

1. Caramel Macchiato Cheesecake
2. Hazelnut Chocolate Chip Scones
3. Chocolate Chip Pecan Cookies
4. Apple Crisp

I think that will suffice for my first bake-a-thon. After that, I plan to only choose 1 item a week to bake.
*Wednesday night, I didn't sleep again. I had taken medication last night to help me sleep, and I don't remember waking up at all... But at some point, I realized that I was awake and thinking. I didn't get back to sleep. Sleep and I need to be very intimate friends tonight. I am very much a zombie today.
*Still hanging out at 108 lbs, but I don't expect this for long. My hot flashes have been acting up allllll week. And I think we all know what that means!!! :) (my metabolism is up, just in case I was wrong and you all don't know lol)
*New Prep Pet Peeve: Slow down on dirt roads if you see someone running! The dust is killing my lungs...

Bloggers.

Oh my word I love you guys so much! You all are such a huge encouragement and I feel so flattered that you all think of me enough to say something every week! You all have made a huge difference in my prep and I thank each and every one of you!

Phew, Only 2 Weeks?!

Seriously. 2 weeks?? In all seriousness, about now... that feels like an eternity.

Facts.
*I have been on prep for 16 weeks. I'm tired, I'm hungry and I might stab you for a stick of gum. And I might stab your mum for a granola bar.
*I have ONE (1!!) workout left for each body part!
*I can't count the cardio sessions yet. :) Or the amount of fish I still have to eat.  YET. :D

Stories.
On Monday morning, my mother plopped a plate full of homemade chocolate chip cookies on my desk at work. They smelled just like they did when I was a kid. They immediately got shoved into my desk... I just can't handle them around. In the freezer they go.

And not only that, but I forgot to take the cookies home. So they taunted me for 2 days.

Also on Monday, someone mentioned that we have 19 days. And I was trying so hard to NOT know that!!! And now I can't UN-know that!

I had to remove the jar of natty pb from my desk at work, it was also taunting me.

Unfortunately, I have seen some VERY low lows during this part of prep. I mean, we all know I am wavering on the emotional PMS'ing side, but I have had some passive-aggressive family comments that are NOT helping. More unfortunately for them, I confront people.

Diet.
This last weekend was hard. I had a very emotionally charged weekend, along with being busier than I ever have been in my life. Wanna know what my Saturday last week was like?!

Saturday.
Couldn't sleep so got up at 4am (after sleeping approx 4 hours), did chores: laundry, dishes, meal prep, feed dogs, etc.
Gym for 50 mins stairmill & abs. Get ready, buy green tea, eat.
Volunteer for 8 hours.
Go back to the gym for incline sprints.
I got home at 7pm. Ugh. Cooked dinner, took a bath, fell asleep at 8. Got myself up at 9 to make a necessary shake. Then slept forever!
(All of this meant I spent more or less all day Sunday sleeping).

Back to Diet.
Diet has been a challenge, as always. I FINALLY figured out exactly how I like my tilapia so I can eat it day in and day out.... So fish is a lot easier. Kind of actually enjoying it now with soy. Okay, more than enjoying it. I'm savoring, alright. I drink the soy & fish juice out of the bottom of the container. Hungry.

Since I am no longer on whey, I get to space my meals out a tad differently now. I am actually eating every 2 hours. And I'm usually really hungry after an hour. :)

Diet on the weekend is still the hardest to get through. Although I still haven't cheated, I want things. lol

I spent... A solid hour on Sunday writing down all the recipes I want to make over the coming months after competition. It was a long list. Top of the list? Caramel Macchiato Cheesecake. I felt like I was soaring on my diet before, but now I just feel ravenous for anything with calories & filling carbs.

Training.
More strength declining. Seriously, um 7.5 lbs lateral raises?! What a SERIOUS ego killer. I might be doing 5 sets with high reps and only 15 sec rest but still! I could do triple that weight in my off-season. But whatevs.

I am generally a person who likes to follow a plan, but I've learned that prep is always changing, so I have changed my attitude towards it... I train cardio when I have energy. Serious! I do cardio daily and everything, but I am doing cardio when there is energy for it... when I get to the gym, it could be before my lift, it could be after my lift, or half before half after... but I never know. And I am kind of liking that. Helps me ensure I can really focus during cardio... which is where I truly need the focus.

Stage.
All my appointments are booked! Hair color, mani, pedi, tanning, waxing, and hair blowout.

I haven't worked on my figure suit.... AT ALL. I have got to find some time this weekend. Unfortunately, my weekend is lining up just like the last one...

Any details I haven't got in line right now, I will this weekend... Like, getting my stage makeup, might want another bracelet, you know.. the usual. ;)

2 Week Check In.
Weighing 108 lbs. :) I was told I look two weeks out. Right on! That's right where I want to be. We discussed my diet, which won't change much this next week, except cutting out my shake at night for a meat source. Hurray! ;) But no cutting carbs. I also don't need to change my cardio, so that's cool now I can just buckle down and hold on!
My posing is feeling more confident all the time, so it was fun to pose for them and a different crowd of gym on-lookers lol.
We also discussed my peak week, which won't have a whole lot of tweeks because they don't feel I need them. Meaning, no carb loading (I'm not lean enough), no drying out, no diuretic, and only sodium tweeks for the last day. Woot!
We also discussed my off-season, which I am feeling really excited about. I truly believe that I am going to be able to by-pass the post-competition blues. :) I already have things I want to work on in my off-season, I will be in perfect condition to begin a build, I already have a plan in place on tapering off cardio, and have already worked on a post-comp meal plan to move into. So, I am feeling very confident that I won't gain much post-comp and will maintain a healthy mindset about my nutrition.

Posing.
Almost daily. I am very proud of myself that I was even doing it daily. And I must admit, both my attention span and stamina have decreased a lot in this last week, so posing is really happening like every other day.

I look CA-RAZY! But I was really excited about being able to see the cap, esp in that lighting! That is no joke right there.

TOM.
Yeah, this is real. I'm heading into my last full week on TOM. Hence the no progress pics this week, and maybe next week. I might do next week, you never know. I'm still feeling some anxiety about my physique at this point, TOM is really having me hold onto everything. It has been a struggle not to do more in order to see things, but that is really unsafe to do.

Bloggers.

Just wanted to tell you all that you are so awesome! I really REALLY appreciate your encouragement, texts, tweets, facebook comments... EVERYTHING. I have really needed it these last couple weeks and will probably for a couple more! But I love you guys!

Ps-I chose the Onion. :D

Upwards And Onwards to Week 1.....

The Game

Prep has turned into a game for me. I know this is funny, but so much keeps being changed in my prep almost weekly that it has almost turned into a game of keeping up. As I'm writing this, that makes it seem far more fun than eating boiled chicken and doing 80 mins of cardio every day.

At 4 weeks out I am ecstatic. I can't stop thinking about being on stage. I wear my posing heels probably a good hour everyday. I practice my posing in our gym's studio before my lift every afternoon and semi-practice as I am making dinner.

Training Games: Still losing strength but doing it. I feel more tight than I ever have. I love the changes that are happening. I can honestly say I am loving the process right now. Seeing new definition every day is keeping me motivated. I moved my running to afternoon only so I've had some carbs (from veggies) before expending every ounce of energy on that. Eesh.

I've been kind of getting in a zone with cardio lately. I don't know what it is but my mind goes off... and then all of a sudden... its done. Crazy! I had a beautiful experience the other night running my dog... I had some Mumford & Sons playing as I was running into the sunset with my Big Boy and my mind just zoned for the full 40 mins. Sigh! :)

Diet Games: I am on a whole foods diet this week. For those who don't know what that is, it means I am not consuming any protein powder which I was about 3x daily. I was having tummy issues during cardio still and was running out of whey anyway, so I am now doing meat all the time. No shakes after my workout. I still have some casein for my pre-sleep shake and will continue on that for a bit longer. So I am now consuming... Let me think... OMG 2 lbs of meat every day! (WHAAAT?! Okay you guys, I honestly only just figured that out. Wow, no wonder I am having to do meal prep multiple times a week. Holy MEAT!)

I don't have a hard time with meat in the morning after my FMC. I do, however, have a hard time consuming 8 oz of tilapia right after my workout (500pm) and then consuming another 4 oz for dinner (6pm). And then a shake at 8pm. The evenings are hard. Should I feel hardcore??

I am also moving towards the direction of eating primarily fish for my meat sources. This is hard. Its being phased in this week, and I hope will be my primary my meat source next week. I hope I can handle that. But I only have a few weeks left and if there was anytime to do it, it would be now! I want to come in looking my absolute best and feel proud knowing I pushed myself, even in my food choices, to get there!

Posing Games: Again, almost twice daily. I know its crazy but I want to feel completely comfortable... Posing in our gym's studio really helps because the stage floor is a lot like the studio's! So, it helps to even be comfortable with that, so tripping is less likely. :) And I've noticed that I'm pretty shakey when I'm practicing... which I guess is helpful to know how I'll be feeling that day anyway. ;)


4 Week Check In Games: The check in was literally only 20 minutes. Because I am right on track. :) Noticeably different.

Miscellaneous Games:
Well, now that I've figured out why I am having to do meal prep a couple times a week... I think I'm going to have to figure out how to condense that. Its too much work, that will probably get forgotten, if I don't get it done in the weekend.
I wish I could explain to you guys how busy my life is right now outside of prep. I'm working, volunteering, doing chores... and we live in the country. Country chores are far greater than city chores, or take far more time anyway. I've got weddings (flowers) to do on the weekend. And driving time? Wow. I've noticed I run a lot of red lights during contest prep. Hmm.

Apparently, I am and have become the bag lady. I get a lot of flack about this. I typically only carry 3 bags around in a day: Cooler, handbag & gym bag. This day I was caught with a lot more... See my "I'm caught" face.

BUT THEY'RE ALL FUNCTIONAL!

Weight is down to 109.25 lbs! I love that I've been lucky enough to consistently see a decline.

ON GOING GAMES:
-TO1D! The October 1st Decision: This is an on-going discussion of where I am to get my burger post-comp. I like specifics and it needs to be a place that also has beer. Feel free to weigh in if you have a favorite place in Spokane or nation-wide chain!
-Competition Surprise: Getting ready to unveil, but am anxious about it. :) I have no idea how anyone will take this, but the reality is... its where my dreams are taking me. Stay tuned and I'll begin taking guesses anytime you all are ready. ;)

Meal Prep with Lacey

ALWAYS extra rice around!

Many competitors I know have done blog posts regarding their meal prep. And while my meal prep isn't new or fun or exciting, I believe that sharing my meal prep may help many of you, as I do face challenges in regards to diet and making it work for me and my schedule.

*First off, I will warn you: I am the type of person who can eat the same thing day in and day out. If I find something I like, I stick to it. Portions change at times, but for the most part its the same. Also, I prep meals for the whole week at one time. I spend 2-3 hours in the kitchen for this, but mind you I am cooking for more than myself.

One challenge I face is being a good cook. No seriously! Patrick loves my cooking. Since we have been together, over a year, he has made me approximately 3 meals: 2 were for holidays and 1 because I was sick... and that was only once because he tends to get sick when I am and vice versa, which means I still cook even when sick. Patrick loves a reasonably healthy diet: high in protein, high carb, low in fat to help him get through 10 hour days and working out on top of it.



Welcome to my kitchen!

I accomplish this chaos of making both our lunches through LARGE batches of rice and chicken.

I start with rice. You can see my batches of rice in the far counter, and his batches of rice in the near counter. As well as dinner in the bowls :) I differentiate our lunches by putting them in different containers so as to not confuse. Also, I'm boiling eggs for Patrick's lunch.

That's 3 lbs of chicken in that container there. I portion to feed both of us.

Another challenge we face, is we are that couple. The couple that is always going. When I wasn't on contest prep, I would face challenging days. You know the ones. The ones where you come home, completely depleted and have NO CLUE what to make for dinner. The only places within 20 mins of us are Subway (not a bad choice, but you can expend a lot of calories and carbs there) and a grocery store (better, but doesn't have healthy prepared meals). The all too familiar phone call to Patrick "Babyyyyy, will you stop by Subway on your way home...??? Pretty pleaseeee?!" cannot be heard for at least the next 15 weeks.

As many of you may know, being on contest prep virtually magnifies ANY feelings you have about anything. So, when you feel great, you feel intensely amazing. But, when you're tired, depleted, and hungry those feelings can make you feel desperate. Knowing myself, I had to consider a way around this. And like many of you, you have to FIND a way to make it work for you.

Since I am so busy, and often come home thinking "Uuughhhhh, I have to make dinner still?!" This is what I do... I buy bags of frozen lean chicken breast in the 5 lbs variety. I like ground turkey as well as fish but get sick of both of them quick (although I know I will likely need to incorporate them into my diet). And I do this:

I start with 3 containers, all with different spices: (left to right) asian spice mix (cumin, red pepper, garlic, olive oil, and soy sauce), hispanic spice mix (cumin, garlic, onion powder, hot sauce, salt and olive oil), and lastly what I call fresh mix (just garlic, olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary and salt).

When I prep the chicken for lunches, I cut ALL 10 lbs of chicken at one time so it ends up like the cooking chicken picture above and the mixed prepped chicken looks like:

Blurry, but you get the picture. But then, once the larger batches are cooked when I cook on a Monday or Tuesday, then I only have to reheat those chicken items!

I will also pre-cut veggies for quick steaming:

Container FULL of pre-cut green beans. That's a LOT of chicken in the back, and hoisin sauce for Patrick's lunches.

The end result is a fridge full of options for quick pull. I can pull it out and throw it in a pan with very little olive oil per poundage of chicken. Another bonus is it has been marinating for days! I tend to throw everything in its pan, put on low, and jump in a bath. Sigh, it makes my life easier just knowing that dinner is easier! I have no option for eating bad when all my meals are ready to cook.

I always leave a large space for our lunch bags as I always prep those the night before.

Bottom drawer is reserved for MY lunches, so Patrick KNOWS not to touch:

My rice & chicken lunches, pre-cut cucumbers and greek yogurts.

Lastly, my dry goods cupboard:

Full of pre-measured protein powders, vanilla up top for Patrick, chocolate on bottom for me.
Pre-measured cereal for Patrick and don't even ask how I can manage prep with Nutella in the house. :)

Bonus Round: Another challenge many face is the issue of eating healthy at work, step into my health food aisle:

Complete with extra measuring cups, supplements, bananas, stevia, rice cakes, peanut butter, flax oil, mugs, tea, gum, almonds, bananas, protein powder, and Jack3D in case I forget it! AND some Mio for the days I can't resist a sweet craving.

It is just a little cubby above my desk, but it makes ALL the difference in the world. Maybe someday I'll show you my drawer in which I keep an extra toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, tampons, floss, makeup and earrings. But that has nothing to do with prep. :) Just for when I'm running late!

The moral of the story is if you have an issue, a challenge, or a problem... you can break it down and find a way to succeed. I would rather fail others than fail myself, so for me there are no excuses. Don't focus on what you can't do, focus on what you CAN do!

There IS a way around each and every challenge we face!

Time to Fire My Trainer

Again. And get a new one. Again. It's not personal, it's business.

Well, my last trainer was PSYCHO. I went back and read that post where I had just fired him and have to tell you... My last trainer was TOXIC, manipulative and seriously... psycho. It was a few weeks after I met Patrick, too, and he definitely helped me push that dude out of my life.

My current trainer is young. And there is nothing wrong with that. But let's be honest here... He has never competed in any NPC event, has never trained any NPC competitor, AND he admitted to me that body competitions are against his morals (WTF?!). That was the last straw.

I need a trainer that is going to be behind me 100%. It is possible that a trainer can train you regarding your own personal goals even if it against what he or she believes, sure. But I think there will be a lack of trust as well as a lack in other areas regarding your contest prep, since it is a very intensive thing to do that requires a huge commitment on both sides of the fence.

Anyway, Trainer... it's not me, it's you.

I'm really excited to meet with a new trainer, Jacques Pitcher, who ideally wants me on prep with him for 16 weeks, which would begin June 11th, but I fear that I cannot afford that until after my baby sister's wedding at the end of June as I am helping with some expenses. So, we're meeting around the 27th and I seriously can't wait. I know that will mean I'm immediately in prep, but I'm half considering NOW as my competition prep. As it should be. This far out, really, I shouldn't be cheating at all with the goals I have set. My body fat is still a tad high going into prep and I should be am starting NOW to get there. BUT! On the positive side, not only he is an NPC Body Builder who has his own accomplishments, but he also has a few National Level Figure Competitors under his belt (does that sound weird? wasn't meant that way..) as well as his own wife who has competed and won her class in Lightweight BB. But not only that, his questions to me via email were VERY thorough, which makes me feel very comfortable with going this route. AND! I'm excited that I won't have to evaluate my own body through the process and wear my mind out.

.. I want to go to there...

18 weeks out, this is completely do-able (right? To get to comp bodyfat?). But I may be calling on some of you for encouragement (or a slap in the face) very soon. I'm very much in the Red Zone right now, the part of any diet where I could gorge on hummus at any moment (no joke... this is THE food that makes me go over the edge.)

During the Red Zone, I:

-Am still vulnerable to temptations and am working hard to make sure I ALWAYS have extra clean foods in case I have an itch I can't scratch :) ... particularly: gum and crystal light, sweet cravings are hard in the Red Zone.
-Am working hard to not put myself into tempting situations. I don't even walk through our work cafeteria right now, sweet potato fries smell incredible.
-Am always carrying my next meal with me.
-Am thankful for Patrick: he has a whiskey & coke everynight, but always tosses the extra soda... he knows me well. :) And he texts me cute "You got this" texts.
-Am still battling headaches... pretty sure that is the sugar/carb addiction withdrawls.
-Am glad that this is happening now. The next event to think about is Father's Day, which I can work bringing my own meals. After that is my little sister's wedding on the 25th... if this had been right now, I would've had a difficult time denying myself cake, but since that is still 3 weeks away I'm convinced I'll be broken of diet anxiety. :)

So, I'm feeling the excitement as I continue to work on my suit and am beginning to have more and more people ask when my contest is. Definitely helps keep my Red Zone in check knowing I'm about to meet a trainer who will be commited to my goals!

I Did It!

Go ahead and thank me. Because I've done it, y'all!

Chocolate flavored lettuce. :D

Just kidding. Wouldn't that be awesome?! I realize that most are against genetically altered corn and wheat but NO ONE would object to chocolate flavored lettuce! ... And if they did, competitors on contest prep would throw heads of "unflavored iceberg" at them. Haha!

But on a serious note, I'm really just excited because I FINALLY bought my NPC membership and paid my entry fee for my contest in October. It's real! I'm doing it!

I technically am 19 weeks out. Holy crap! Haha, just kidding again. This time going into prep I absolutely have no reservations and am not even remotely scared. This time, I'm ready and know I will be ready to begin prep at 12 weeks out. I've made some substantial gains and have put on some muscle (I've put on about 8 lbs since January) in the places I've wanted to: rounded out my shoulders, increased size in lats, and really have tightened up my core.
I've only dropped a couple of percentage points in body fat however, I have figured out what contest diet works for me and I've been eating it for the past two weeks. I realize many competitors eat a keto diet for contest prep and in this case until the 12 week mark I will be eating a carb-up meal or two on the weekend.

In the next seven weeks, I will continue on the keto diet, again with carb-up meals. My trainer and I will continue to monitor this beginning the first of June, as we both want to see how my body does and how I do monitoring myself. However, I anticipate that my body will handle this very well.

As far as training goes, I'm continuing through my endurance phase through May and will go back into hypertrophy in June and July... August and September will be back to fat loss.

Now, onto the tricky part... The Stage. I have my suit, need to sequin the thing. I have heels. I have the tanner (still need to figure out who exactly is going to apply this..). But the tricky part is posing. I know how to pose... I understand the lat spread and the stance, but I haven't figured out how exactly a T-walk works. I think I might buy the contests' DVD from last year just to get that part. :) If anyone has any suggestions or comments (or feels an obligation to break this down for me completely... ;) ) on this they are obviously greatly appreciated.

Pictures to come upon monthly updates! :)

And JUST Because Its Bugging Me...

Courtney West.

Please someone out there tell me that she didn't BRING it at the Arnold! I'm sorry, but I think she was looking better than Erin Stern!

And her back, oh man, was (IS!) solid!


Check out her back (far left) and Erin Stern right next to her!

 PS. Ava really needs to work on her posing. But I will give her credit that she is still in her Rookie year.

That is all. She REALLY earned better than 6th place. In a major way. Robbed, I tell you, robbed!

... Phew! Glad I got that off my chest. ;)

12 Weeks Out and NOT Freaking Out

Okay, I really just wanted a title that rhymes. ;) I am actually VERY excited about this week. I've missed my diet being clean (I don't enjoy feeling bloated or lazy, I'm athletic by nature) and definitely miss the warm feeling in my legs. Is that weird?! I love how warm my legs get after a good leg day or hard cardio, feeling the blood pump through is the best feeling ever.

I'm looking at this contest prep as my chance to prove to myself what I'm worth. And for some motivation, I've pulled some quotes together that will probably hold me together over the next 12 weeks:

• “A man who conquers himself is greater than one who conquers a thousand men in battle” – Buddha
• “Champions aren’t made in gyms, Champions are made from something they have deep inside them; A desire, A dream, A vision.” – Muhammad Ali
• “Courage is doing what you’re afraid to do. There is no courage unless you’re scared.” -Unknown

These quotes feel good as I continue even just today. I am a champion because I conquer myself. I have courage because I am scared. And I have the desire, the dream, and the vision.

Week 12 Schedule:
M- Lower Body (High carb day)
T- Upper Body (Med Carb day)
W- Yoga (Low carb day)
Th- Lower Body (High carb day)
F-Upper Body (Med carb day)
Sat- Rest (Low carb day)
Sun- Plyometrics & 5:15 posing practice w/Rachel  (Low carb day)

This weeks goals:
1- 1570-1625 calories per day, luckily I don't even have to think about my diet. Just eat. Thanks Nikki! :) w/2 cheat meals this week (But I plan on very clean cheats, like protein pancakes with sugar free syrup, etc)
2- Practice posing 3x
3- Buy my bikini bite & spray deodorant & more rhinestones for my suit
4-Stick to my pre-planned workouts- I really want something to feel proud of!

My diet coach will be so proud of me:

I prepped all of my lunches for the week and labeled all the dates. :)

I'm off to the gym to be a champion!

13 Weeks Out!

I'm 13 weeks out ("ohmygod. ohmygod. ohmygod.")  and this will be my "rest" week before contest prep. And by rest, I mean not workout like normal.

On a personal level, this week we are moving into our new home in the country. We are so excited to have our dog back, who has been staying with a friend during the home buying process. Let me back track a little: when I met my boyfriend, Patrick (or as I commonly call him on here, Handsome), he was in the beginning stages of selling his home with the intention of buying his dream home. Once he sold it, he moved into my apartment in the city... Unfortunately, our sweetheart of a Great Dane could not come live in my apartment as we are on the top floor of a 1910 building that is fully floored in hardwood. 9 months later, home is now bought in the country and we are moving to our 10 acres! :) We get keys on Tuesday and will be cleaning and slowly preparing for our move on Saturday. Also, Handsome's bday is on Thursday so I plan on having friends over for some beers (but not me!) and nosh.

On a training level, I have quite a few things cooking.

First, this is my rest week. I'm only planning on 3 days a week of low intensity elliptical for 20 mins each. Also, my calories are to be at 1700 every day this week.
My goals are:
1- To eat the 1700 calories of clean foods. Just larger amounts of turkey and chicken etc, instead of having everything I won't be able to for a few months. I finally just got over my sugar cravings and I don't want to lead back into them.
2- Still give myself the two cheat meals. Might have a glass of wine to celebrate the end and beginning of wonderful stages of our life together. We have an expensive bottle of wine that has been waiting for this. Plus it will be my last for a long time.
3- Get my moving done so once week 12 hits I can go full throttle.
4-Prep my next two weeks of weight training
5-Book my hair and waxing appointments for contest.
6-Pay for my NPC membership
7-Practice posing for 20 mins 3x this week

Second, I have a few things going for contest prep:
Suit: After the pink-suit mishap, I have ordered my new suit and will begin planning for BeDazzling that shit up. lol
Shoes: Got em! And have been prancing around in them ALL THE TIME.
Tan: Have the product.
Other: Still need to book hair and waxing appointments. Also need to decide on nails (whether to have a real nail appt or get press ons), jewelry, buy bikini tape or spray, also need to do Entry for the classic... Hasn't been available yet...

Am planning on doing a run-through of all of these things at 4 weeks. So we can make any changes to my get-up ahead of time. :)

Will likely post once more this week to update on my prep for contest-prep time? LOL... That just sounded funny. :)

Inspiration for the day: Nicole. What else can be said? Nothing. Her body is amazing.

Competition Shoes Friday!

Late night after battling a bit of insomnia, I wrote a note to myself which I will look back on as I continue towards competition. Although I will not share at this point, perhaps I will after I win. :) But the main point, is that I am THE formidable foe. And my competition doesn't even know what is coming for them.

And guess who got their competition shoes?!


Shoes By Ellie

They fit perfect and stay on perfect when I walk around in them. Like they should! They are a half size small which makes them stay on perfectly.
Friday's Wish: Just to make it through. :)

Today's workout: 30 mins stairclimber at 5am
10 mins treadmill for wu, 35 mins lower body:
Walking Dumbell Lunge 1@ 60x12, 2@ 65x12
Assisted Dumbell Lunge 3@ 60x12, 1@ 70x5
Machine Leg Press 3@ 260x12
Calf Raise 3@ 260x12
Machine Leg Extension 3@ 100x12, 1@ 110x4
Machine Leg Curl 3@ 40x12
Incline Reverse Crunch 3@ 20
& 10 mins stairclimber cardio post weights

Eats:
415: 2 Lipo 6x Black Hers
600: 1 scp whey isolate post workout
700: 1/2 c oatmeal, 2 egg whies, 1 egg, green tea (w/2 mv, 1 fo, & 1 gluc)
1000: 2 oz turkey, yogurt, 12 almonds, banana (w/1 fo, 1 gluc, & Iron)
1300: 2 oz turkey, 10 baby carrots w/1/4 c hummus (w/vit-D & vit-C)
1500: 1 Lipo & 2 Essential Electrolytes
1700: 1 scp whey isolate
1830: 2 oz chicken, 10 asparagus spears (w/1 fo & Vit-E)
2000: 1 scp casein

Total: 1399 calories, 165g protein, 87g carbs, 45g fat