Goals & Reflections

It occurred to me this morning that I was nearing the end of the year and I couldn't even remember what my goals were for 2013. Course, life had other plans for me and my body but still! I took a look through this blog just to refresh my memory and to my dismay I couldn't find where I had actually set any in stone!

So... I'm ready to make some goals for 2014... It's going to be a BIG year in the Bang house. Some things we're not ready to talk about as they're still in process but we do have a baby coming which is a huge change in any household.

1. Natural Delivery. I REALLY don't want a C-Section (and firmly believe that OB's hand these out more than they are needed... but that's a whole other discussion). So my daily decisions are made with thought to delivering Chloe naturally; staying strong and eating right is the only way to even remotely have a say in this.
2. Back to Normal Weight. I know the baby weight can come off rather easily for breastfeeding women if a plan is in place, which I've already been working on one that will be prepped far ahead of delivery (frozen meals, etc.). And of course all of this is to be Back on Course to Compete in 2015. Depending on when Chloe makes her arrival, and how those first few months go will determine when I compete again. I've never gotten around to competing at the Emerald Cup, which I had planned to do TWICE and haven't... So that's on my bucket list. But, it is reasonable to assume that I've lost muscle mass over the course of being knocked up so this will take some considerable planning. However, I genuinely hope that I can spend time healing my hip and rebuild through the end of 2014. I'm sure I could push myself to compete in the fall of 2014, but I don't want to overwhelm myself... Having a new baby will be a significant change to our lifestyle.
3. Stay on course with paying our debt and growing our business to hopefully be on track to stay home after my maternity leave is over. This is going to be a big BIG year for us, but more on that later. ;)
4. Write! I really miss blogging and even journaling to get all my thoughts out of my head. There are so many I just can't contain them. lol!

Week: 23!!! :D  -17 weeks out!!-

I was surprised to see that I've only gone up one pant size. My legs feel giant to me. 

Weight Gain:  18 lbs (@ 141 lbs)

Sleep: Definitely difficult. I've gotten to the point where not only is sleeping uncomfortable by itself (hanging belly twisting my spine for hours...), but Baby Chloe has a habit of waking me up kicking ALL the time. 

Miss Anything?  Anything body related. I miss it all... Miss my abs, miss being limber enough to hop up on a chair, I miss wearing cute little anythings that make me feel sexy. Feeling sexy is a valuable commodity these days... And not for Mr. Bang, but for me. The last time I remember desiring a smaller body and feeling sexy in my skin this much, was when I was about 185 lbs and made a huge commitment to change my lifestyle and lose the weight.

Symptoms: Still sick somewhat often. About 2-3 times a week I'm still getting sick in the morning, and it is just in the morning. I have to admit that I've quit being diligent about preventing this... but let's be honest, you'd get pretty sick of fruitlessly trying to prevent getting nauseous for over 4 months too.

Mood: Mostly good, feeling so excited for our little one. Now that the holidays are over, I'm starting to feel the sense of urgency in working on the baby's room. Nesting. :)

Cravings: Fruit. All the time and sometimes tuna. I mean, I want carbs when I'm hungry, but I haven't had any crazy cravings. Every now and then I crave chocolate, but not a lot. I even go scavenge around the cafeteria at work, and the only things that I ever choose are fruit or a tuna sandwich on high protein bread (I also bring my own olive oil mayo to work, and load the sucker up with tomatoes, pickles and pepperoncinis). 

Diet: (Now, when I say diet, I just mean my regular eating meal plan. The word "diet" does not indicate that I'm trying to lose weight in any way, shape or form.) Going awesome! See my post about my meal plan from a few weeks ago. I don't stray too much from it, the hubby and I really enjoy eating healthy and wholesome meals. I also really notice when I am consistently eating this meal plan, and drinking enough water, it drastically reduces my fatigue. 

Still working out: See my post from a couple weeks ago about my excellent flexible workout schedule. I plan to switch this up in the middle to end of February just for something new and getting me focused on smaller timelines, like in 6 weeks I get a new workout. *Mind Tricks!* I totally did this all through prep too. :)

I would like to say, however, is it ever hard to workout now! Adding on the excess pounds and still trying to do the same workouts is crazy hard! I feel like I'm doing the "Add the Weight Back On"  Challenge from the Biggest Loser. 

The Sacred Pregnancy Obedience Rules: I'm quickly finding that some of these pregnancy obedience rules are basically just my life now, not out of choice, but out of circumstance. If I tried to hang out in a room full of paint fumes, I would likely barf. Or clean the catbox. Even if I tried to drink more than the recommended amount, I would get heartburn alllll night and be sick ALL the next day.
I am still eating some tuna a few times a week, but that's mostly because I'm trying to not eat the deli meat. Although, I do eat the deli meat sometimes. ;) And as for the occasional glass of wine, it is my savior right now. Having one once a week is a really nice break from the reality of being and feeling really pregnant. Although, this is usually followed by a full night of heartburn and feeling sick in the morning. 

One Month Goals: Finish Chloe's room clean-out project. I've Craigslisted a bunch of furniture that was all stuffed into her room - I try really hard not to become attached to furniture or completely replaceable objects. Our house is just tooooo small to keep so much in it. We are planning a home reno-party pretty soon just to help us get Chloe's room done and finish breaking out our last wall between the dining room & kitchen, which will require a new support beam. Hubby doesn't want me around the paint fumes, so I'll make food while everyone else drinks beer and paints. Luckies!

...And let's welcome our newest category:         "Stretchmarks"
Yep, got em. But really these aren't new for me. I'm very petite and knew this would happen quickly because of the simple fact that I had them when I was large around my love handles area and they aren't new... Old ones stretch back out pretty easy. (I know you all can't see my face or even see any emoticons so let me just tell you that the look on my face is pretty annoyed. I get a lot of "get over it" 's and "they're your tiger stripes" encouragement but it still doesn't dispel my disdain for stretching them back out. I am sure I'll be proud of birthing my baby, but I feel no connection between being proud of her and the stretch marks). I am doing Shea butter everyday though! I'm gonna fight those suckers to the death! 

Well, I hope you all had a wonderful new year! Two things:
1. What is everyone eating for lunch these days? I really need a new option over tuna...
2. What are your goals/resolutions for 2014? I'd love to encourage you in your goals!

Until next time! :D

Yoga Love and the Miracle of Hot Yoga while Pregnant (or not pregnant)

I absolutely love the studio I've gone to for years. They treat me like family every time I'm there and I am constantly learning more and more about my practice. Being knocked up has given me the opportunity to learn even more about the practice, and how continuing can be very beneficial for baby and for pregnancy symptoms. Skip to the below post if you'd rather read this than read my Knocked Up Updates. ;)

Week: 10!    Official due date: April 29th! I was a bit farther along than we initially thought. 

Weight Gain: 2 lbs (At 125lbs, my goal weight gain is 20 lbs.. So, around 140-145.)

Minka, making sure her presence is known ;)

Sleep: Getting harder. I was an 80's kid before SIDS was linked to tummy sleeping, so not being able to sleep on my tum tum is pretty lame, and some nights I wake up still sleeping on my belly. And I'm a really light sleeper so I suspect my days of sound sleep are basically gone. Although, we have resolved the dog issue.

Miss Anything?  HOT BATHS. I take a much hotter bath than most, practically scathing, much like a hot tub.. So I really miss just soaking in a hot bath (to my standards). I just like being warm... Hot baths, hot yoga, steam rooms... Yeah, you guys know.

Symptoms: More mood swings, brain fog, constant fatigue, and my belly hurts a lot... Sometimes its the round ligament at the bottom of my belly and sometimes its higher, which I've read is probably my organs & internal tissues getting soft... not a lot of places for a baby to go in a woman my size. :) Sometimes the pains are worrisome, but I've been told not to.

My smells are on overdrive lately too! I smelled gasoline in our home and threw up everywhere! Funny thing was I could never figure out where the smell was coming from! Bad breath has made me throw up, the smell of the parking garage being cleaned at work... grease anywhere (like fast food type grease). 

Mostly it's a lot of barfing. For all the women who never had this, you have NO CLUE how lucky you are. It's impossible to predict when it will come for me. The other day it was in a meeting. On Saturday, it was DURING breakfast. Surprisingly, the prenatal vitamins don't seem to affect the nausea.

Women have suggested to me everything under the sun, and I've tried absolutely everything... Unisom, crackers at night, crackers during the night, crackers as soon as I wake up, ginger root supplements, ginger chews, ginger ale, ginger tea, tons of water, many small meals (which I do anyway), pregnancy teas, Preggie Pops (which do seem to help if I'm far from food, and am feeling the nausea come... although, I can't seem to find WHY these help. The ingredients are all sugars and essential oils. Tasty tho!), extra B6 during the day.. And still throwing up 6-7 times a day. I have no desire to be on any medication for this (Hello! Thalidomide was a disaster!), and am hoping I'm just hitting my peak of nausea & sickness.

Mood: Depends on my hunger or level of tiredness. :) Mamas, you know what I mean. The mood swings are CRAZY! I feel pretty bad for the hubs.. I really REALLY need to do something nice for him. He really is amazing.

Cravings: Fruit.. Except Bananas.. I am ENDLESSLY hungry. I have to deny myself a lot, but not like prep. I'm just denying things that sound instantly good but we know are completely empty - soda, ice cream... I've tried to turn to some FiberOne Bars just to keep my fiber up and avoid the dreaded pregnancy constipation yet still satisfy some sweet craving. Have been craving home food as the weather has gotten colder as well.. I made the BEST chicken pot pie last night!

Diet: Not that I'm complaining or anything, but this is so counter-intuitive for a bikini athlete/bodybuilder. Craving and eating loads of fruits lately. I binged on an entire carton of strawberries the other night. Mmmm! :) But honestly most of my diet is dictated by how I'm feeling... If the nausea is high, I'm tempted to only eat carbs, my breakfasts have pretty much only been bagels or cereal... Eggs, sausage, bacon.. all sound awful! But then also have to be careful about indigestion. I learned that on Cheez-It's a week or two ago. So, fruits have been my best option.

The saddest thing happened though this week, my taste buds changed... and coffee tastes awful. :( WAHHHHHH!!! Everyday my brain tells me I want coffee, but I have dumped an entire coffee every day this week. So, will probably just be making a switch to tea. (WOAH. Pregnancy really IS comparable to prep! haha)

Still working out: Baby and I have been doing hot yoga and cardio a couple times a week depending on where my nausea is at, but will discuss my love for hot yoga at the end of this post. My sickness has also dictated this, if I feel really sick... I don't work out.

Also, this isn't saying that I have loads of energy, it's mostly the opposite. I've been good about packing fruits and things to raise my blood sugar when I get too sleepy. But this is also a challenge when trying to keep up on my workouts. The fatigue is truly physical, but the battle is mental. It's easiest to compare this feeling to prep-depletion: Just get to the gym. I always feel better once I'm done!

The Sacred Pregnancy Obedience Rules: Okay, I quit Seafood.. And as far as the catbox, I just started wearing  a mask. Probably will eat clam chowder at some point. ;) I'm an excellent pill taker though, so the vitamins aren't an issue.

Goals for the next week or two:
We finally started our nesting projects! We did clean out and paint our master bedroom this weekend, so the next project is still one of my original goals:
1. Clean out the effing back room! It is a cluttery mess.

Onto My Real Post.... The Miracle of Hot Yoga (while or while not pregnant): 
With pregnancy comes loads of unsolicited advice. If you're a patient person, this might not bug you... but I, however, am not. I also used to be a GIANT people pleaser, so I now take any advice with a large grain of salt. A rock of salt, if you will. When I'm cranky and uncomfortable, I really want to tell some people to shove it.

"Do you really think you should be doing that given your condition?!" (Yeah, I heard that for real, last week)

I smiled as pleasantly as I could, although I'm sure she could see the irritation behind the smile, and informed her that I felt good and was perfectly healthy to keep up my exercise routine. I love how people think when you're pregnant, that you WANT to be squatting a large barbell or doing an hour of cardio (Okay, I do want to be squatting a large barbell, just not right now). On the contrary, in this first trimester, I don't feel awesome. But I ALWAYS feel awesome when I'm done!

My primary concern is growing a healthy baby. My secondary concern is keeping myself healthy and strong for a natural delivery. I've read from different sources that yoga is very helpful in keeping your abs & legs strong for delivery, and had even followed blogs in years past where women kept up their hot yoga practice throughout their pregnancies. All of them delivered completely natural, and had perfectly healthy babies. The power and grace these women exuded convinced me long ago of my intention to continue my hot yoga practice throughout any pregnancy I would have in the future.

And I have already been getting dirty looks of distress regarding continuing hot yoga into my pregnancy. However, you can find the Pregnancy Modifications to Bikram Yoga here, developed by Bikram's "wife". (I put wife in quotations because everyone knows Bikram is a giant man whore. He has two major rape lawsuits going on currently, which is why I don't necessarily feel the need to go to a designated "Bikram Yoga" studio. Did you know he charges studios $15K a YEAR to use his name?! Ludicrous. - Side note: I had to look up how to properly spell Ludicrous... Damn you Ludacris. LOL!)  I also found a posture by posture look at the alterations on bikramyogarichardson.com. This site is fabulous, it tells you at what stage in your pregnancy to begin altering what posture, and is way more comprehensive than Rajashree's guide.

Courtesy of Bikram Yoga Richardson - This woman looks so powerful in her postures!

Anyway, I was seriously doing yoga from weeks 1-6, obviously not aware I was knocked up, and felt perfectly fine! So, here I am, 10 weeks along and going to hot yoga fully aware I am with child... and suddenly I'm just supposed to quit??  If you're already accustomed to the heat, it actually feels amazing (and I suspect it really will as we head into the cold months). I walked into the hot room really just wanting to take a nap in there it felt so so good! As the first breathing exercise starts, Pranayama breathing, it is a challenge but once the second set has been completed, my energy level has picked up. Deep breathing and flushing my body with freshly oxygenated blood... Ahhh.

Yes, saunas & hot tubs are contraindicated for pregnancy. However, if you look into the science of hot yoga, if you are consistently practicing in the hot room, your body becomes accustomed to not raising its internal temperature in order to make it through an entire class. Which is why you see yoginis never getting sick throughout a class. But some women bring a thermometer and test themselves just to be sure (which I'll probably do). Bonus: The studio I go to has a class called "Beats" which is the same Bikram style series, but to low lights, music and minimal words. Perfect for a yogini to just do yoga and meditate into the practice. I love to talk to my baby during this and invite growth and love into our body.

Since I've had the soreness in my belly, which I guess is the stretching of the round ligament in your lower belly, and totally normal for a first pregnancy, I focus on the postures that stretch the belly. Half Moon feels wonderful, especially the backbend which I've been able to do at about 75%, once I feel the stretch, I don't push it further.

The only postures that are uncomfortable at this point are the backbends that push your belly into the floor like Floor Bow or Full Locust, but I got the chance to learn most of the alterations for when I get too big to do do the tight forward bends, which I suspect will be soon. I intend to give up the spine strengthening series in the next couple of weeks, and add in some Vinyasa/Flow postures. However, CAMEL... Give me this! I feel like the most powerful woman in the universe coming out of this backbend, and once I get to the ground, my body feels like it's melting into the earth. Camel is meant to flush and pump your cerebrospinal fluid (which is why many newcomers get dizzy and sick in camel, it can have those effects if you're not used to it), and I can only imagine that baby is reaping those benefits too.

My approach to practice has had to change, however.. I typically went into yoga as an athlete ready for the long haul, deep into every posture, pushing 100%, but now, slow and steady wins the race. I listen to my body, when I feel sick or dizzy I sit down until my heart rate has lowered completely. I leave yoga on cloud 9, my body feels good and surging with energy. And in fact, my pregnancy symptoms are not as intense the next day. I don't feel AS fatigued, or AS sick, nor as crazy with mood swings! It also relieves my body of any edema (holding water)!

After yoga (and my gym workouts), I give myself plenty - I snack on strawberries and chug coconut water on my way home. And sometimes a protein shake, depending on where I'm at nausea-wise. Sometimes the protein exacerbates it.

I just want to say this, that getting knocked up has really reinforced my desire to be who I am, and not  change my preferences and routines just because others wouldn't do it themselves, or because their pregnancy experience was bad. It is very easy to absorb the stresses and worries that others have, but my stress and worry is eased with the passing days. But I feel that their worries, are really none of my business. Just like my body, is none of theirs. Absorbing their stress, will not help me or baby. So, thanks... but no thanks. :)

How is everyone else doing these days??? Say Hi when you can!! Love you all!! :)

Progression

Turns out that my posts are just getting short... I have so much to say and so much in my heart, but it seems as though I can never concentrate my thoughts long enough to make a beautiful succinct piece of writing anymore. :)

Once upon a time, I used this blog as a way to motivate myself and others to continue to progress in their health and fitness. While I totally back girls who are working out to better themselves simply for aesthetic reasons, because I believe in loving your body...  This is also to support peeps who really want to better themselves, progress their physical fitness, and work on long-term health. I guess its safe to say that I semi-fell away from that, mostly because I was in preparation for my first competition.

Yes, there will be competitions for me in the future - the fire in my heart never died. I desperately want to hit the stage again... But just like anything, there is a process. And while working through an injury, the process is slow.. but any progression is good.

SO! I'm happy to report that I am progressing. My diet has been tight, which has been the only thing I've been able to control with my hip injury. I'm up to doing hot yoga 3x a week, and doing cardio 3x a week with a light lift (OMG YAY!). I basically can only do upper body at this point and core, no lower back strenuous movements, but that is WAY better than I was doing last month. I'm not walking around like a hunchback, my transitions from sitting to standing are fluid (finally!) and I'm definitely not having major muscle spasms anymore - which means, I'm completely off medication again! WOOT!

My goal throughout the healing process, was to be able to get to regular lifting by September, and I think I'm on track with that. By all intents and purposes, I am lifting regularly, so I suppose I should clarify that I mean regular lifting WITH LEGS by Sept.

{It's not about how many times you get knocked down, it's about how many times you get knocked down and continue to get up.}

So, here is my beginning of August progress pic. For myself, I am going to start posting my progress... and once I feel comfortable with it... A whole segment on my legs & backside... because this is going to be a serious project. ;)

Oy, this is hard... My legs have far to go... I do always love my shoulder roundness!

What's everyone working on now?? What body part are you working hard on or what goals are you crushing?? Because I KNOW you are!!! :)

The Struggle to Be More

I have been close yet distant, and vague yet detailed about my life. It’s so easy to show the best sides of one’s life, but not quite as easy to show the other sides. I think that I always feel that “everyone else is struggling, why would anyone want to listen to my struggle or hear me complain?” But I find myself in a more problematic predicament, that there is no way around. There is no way to change it, or sit around and hope that one day my schedule clears up so I can have my workout or blog time back.

Have you heard of the Facebook Depression? I was reading that its basically when you get depressed because you see all of the highlights of someone else’s life on their Facebook. Ha! Its true. I can’t tell you how many Stay at Home Mom’s Facebooks I stalk and Sigh at. Or see cute pictures of friends having a wonderful time with their cute kids, on the daily.

So, I’m just here to reiterate that my life isn’t always swell, and in fact, I struggle, I work and I know that most of you know where I’m at: Overstressed and injured with no time. And thus comes the struggle to be more.

We Support Each Other’s Dreams
There was a period of time where I could focus on my dreams completely, and then there was a period of time where I even had help achieving my dream. But right now, I’m in a period in life, where my husband needs my talents in order to achieve his dreams which is provide for our family and make us to be more than we currently are… but the journey is a lot longer than contest prep. It cannot be condensed into 12, 16 or even 20 weeks. In fact, this is now my life indefinitely.

When last year I anticipated that I would be busy, I did not stop to even consider the long term. I now work a 50 hour work week at my hospital job, and if I’m lucky, I only spend an extra 20 hours doing Administrative support for Bang’s Lawn Care. And I don’t earn a dime for this. And sometimes he needs help with jobs, which I also don’t get a cent for.

What I’m earning is a new life, a better life than what we have now. Supporting my husband’s dream has been even more challenging than trying for my own. This has meant endless meetings in order to learn accounting, learning all about owning a business, having employees and getting into radio advertising. I have become increasingly interested in Branding and Marketing, all to make this dream come true. Not to mention, just being a normal person and making time for anyone in my life is a huge struggle. One in which almost no one understands, and I get flack about it almost weekly – And I respond kindly, without excuses, even though that is not my first reaction.

But I’m Not Done!
And yet, when you spend all your time simply trying to make a living and support someone else’s dream… It’s not like yours goes anywhere. It’s still there. Inside my heart.Waiting for the time.

So this is the struggle. My heart feels the need to work toward my goals, even though I have almost no time to do so and have body limitations that are beyond my training knowledge. It’s depressing to look at workout plans and practically dissect them to weed out all of the exercises that are contraindicated for my conditions. Can’t squat. Can’t deadlift. Can’t machine hack squat. Can’t do some plyos. Can’t lunge. Can’t do any direct glute or hip work.

And don’t get me started on how long this has been. This has, by far, been the longest recovery period of my life. 6 months of hip healing, that has been incredibly painful both physically and mentally. I often feel lost.

In my lostness, there is a righteous anger. I’m fed up with hurting. Being in constant pain, makes me angry enough to work harder than I have in the past. I’m trying to work smarter and be in control of my plans… My plans that will be enacted the moment I have free time.

Upward and Onward

I’ve decided to no longer hide my struggles or hide my life. This blog IS about hard work isn’t it?? I'm weeding out the negatives in my life, and have decided to no longer spend my time "holding on". Because that is what it has seemed like. Holding on until the next moment where I can breathe and do what I want. But just like worry, there is no sense in being miserable if I don't have to be. And I definitely don't!

This now has to be what I want. In order for our business to become all that it can, and in order for me to achieve my own dreams, I have to want everything I have to do within each and every single day. I want to work. I want to do invoicing. And I NEED my workout time. I don't have time, I make time.

The Struggle to Be More
The interesting thing about life, is sometimes it requires you to become a better person. I never realized how incredibly selfish I was until my personal time was challenged, along with my patience, ego, commitment, and honor as a wife.

I'm struggling to be more of everything. Everything that life is requiring of me right now. Its almost like prep, you trust the plan that it will yield results. I rely solely on the hope that if I work hard and struggle long enough to be more... I will just be more.

Where do you struggle to be more than you are? How do you make yourself happy when committing your time to others??

Bringing Back the Body: Weeks 1 & 2

I'm super squishy! And yes, this makes me happy!! My fat is all soft all over, which I love because that means its starting to break down.

Bringing Back the Body - Week 1 has been a success, which means I am a success! But I made this week really easy on myself so compliance wouldn't be an issue and momentum will continue to pick up. I feel like my body is tightening up, and I haven't once had the temptation to weigh myself. My clothes are fitting better, and I even fit back into some size 2 pants! Okay, okay, they were snug, but we won't talk about that. ;)

Diet.
I'm following about the easiest diet plan ever. This may be something I come back to post-prep (whenever that may be)... While I don't believe in sharing meal plans, as everyone's should be customized to them only, I will say that this week... here is what I LOVE about my meal plan this week...

Funny story: I was at work a few days ago and finished off my shake during a meeting. Afterward, I  was talking to a doctor who inquired about my shake. After I described the ingredients he goes, "That's nice. I'm gonna go get a donut." No one realizes how tasty these really are! 

Breakfast: Spinach, cucumber, fruit & egg white shake. I usually use some fresh strawberries or frozen blueberries, but man... tasty treat on my way to work!

But be careful if you use blueberries... You may inadvertently look like a wino in the morning. Which is never a good thing.

I always have to go and learn things the hard way...

Workouts.
Although I want to say that my workouts were easy, they were not for me. TONS of core work, my back is so very sore and tight... but I'm doing my best to get in lots of stretches and yoga.

For example! I love to incorporate BodyRock workouts. I think those girls' bodies speak for themselves, and they are tight!! Today, I did the Don't Wake Me Up Workout with some asanas at the end, mostly the spine strengthening series. Check this out!

I did 4 rounds instead of 3, pushed my hardest when I could... but the squats at the end got kinda taxing on my back so I had to take it slow and steady. Concentrating hard on my form, and being less concerned with pumping out reps.     Busted my ass! ;)

Progress on Goals.
GOT MY GARDEN PLANTED! Ahhh country life. :)

Here's what I have planted, let's just hope I can keep it all alive: Sweet corn, kale, green onions, red onions, sweet onions, green beans, red leaf lettuce, green leaf lettuce, broccoli, cucumbers, carrots, red potatoes, spaghetti squash, watermelon, hothouse tomatoes, roma tomatoes, jalapenos, chives, rosemary, dill and cilantro!!! And my strawberries & raspberries came back from last year.

The only things I didn't plant that I still want to are asparagus, spinach & sweet potato. What is it about fresh home grown organic vegetables that I love?! Everything. Plain and simple. Everything.  (BTW, my hubs deserves major kudos - he put those huge raised beds made of rock together for me! AND he did all the dirt shoveling... AND!!!! He set up automatic timers to come on every 12 hours, so I don't even have to worry about watering. Just weed and pick veggies. Yes. - Mr. Bang, you just made a dream of mine come true.)

And prep...
Today marked one year from my first and only show. And I'm certainly getting that itch to get to work in starting a journey to the stage. I'm falling in love with girls' suits! I broke out my Cinderella heels, and have been aching to get to work on bigger lifts... But first things first, I really can't take it far until I'm out of the woodwork with my pain and tightness level.

Let's take a break and focus on some animal cuteness.... My babies.. 

Minka the snuggler

Andy hurt his foot a week ago and had to wear the Cone of Shame,  Zeke was keeping him company :)

Big dogs give big lovin.

Goals This Coming Week:

I did NOT make it to yoga these last two weeks. While I have been doing yoga at home, I'd really prefer to be making to a class where my form can be corrected. So, YES -> Yoga. 

Measuring. I have not been consistent about measuring my food, specifically the cream for my coffee and I have been eyeballing my brown rice. :) So, I'm gonna own up to that this week. Haha.

Posture! This past week I was walking to work, and as I was walking through a skywalk from the parking garage to the hospital, I noticed that I looked like I had a SEVERE bubble butt. And by that I mean, I think I was kind of hunching forward so it looked like my butt was really sticking out. And I think this is a hip flexor issue. So, this week... I vow to really try to stand up straight and walk with my hips forward, even if I have to walk slower. 

How many of you incorporate BodyRock type workouts into your workout schedule? If so, how often??

What are your goals this coming week?? If you haven't thought about it - Set some! It's a good practice to constantly have goals you're working toward! Have a wonderful weekend and week!! 

I Got Average.

Hey hey!

Life from my view..
Now, while I have been absent to this blog, I haven't been absent to life. I know I have stated before that I have just been incredibly busy (aren't we all?!), but most of it has been working overtime. MAJOR overtime. My workspace and the protocols in which we conduct our office has gone through a large over-haul which had begun during last prep and will likely continue through the next year to two years, and I have been a big player in creating new and innovative ideas that will reduce duplication and time-wasters.

Also! I've been studying for the certification of my position.. So anyway, my time is pretty limited.

Seasons.
I had thought at one time that if you truly love something, that is kept up all the time. Full-time, never goes away. EVAR. But when prep ended, I was flat burnt out. I couldn't even think about fitness and mostly didn't want to. I can tell you that I really really wanted to work out but was so short on time, because that's what I was telling myself. I kept trying to reinforce what I should be doing, and should be eating, created dozens of diet plans for myself, devised many cardio plans, and initiated some training plans... But this just wasn't the season for hard training.

And I was kidding myself. I could not just LET GO of what I wanted to use in life to make myself feel proud. Then I got injured. I strained my SI again. Which was probably the result of hard glute training and not enough stretching... And then just stopping the training.

When excessive behavior swings too far in to excess, we either 1-die or 2-change. And I've found that in the far excess, with enough desire to change, the pendulum finds itself on a swift path to the other side. And in that journey, I found myself passing over good healthy diets that kept me sane. I attempted diets that hooked me into results... which was fine at the time. Or so I thought it would be. Turns out I wasn't. Turns out when the metaphorical pendulum in me began to traverse back down, I lost the control to stop it.

Obviously the worst thing about all of this, isn't the weight gained. Of course it crosses my mind what people think about me.. They watched me lose 75 lbs, and then rebound back with 20 lbs post contest. And that hurts. Its honestly what has kept me away from this blog. I combat the embarrassment and anger all the time.

I whine about the season of life I'm in. I'll admit it. Right now I'm in the season of studying and working hard, which is honestly just as uncomfortable as prep was. To comfort where I actually wanted to be, which is the gym, is to eat and eat comfort food to make my day not so grueling. If it seems so opposite, that's because it is.

Its easy for some to say "Quit that behavior", but it is genuinely very difficult for some to do. Its a day to day struggle that I have to make a conscious decision on.

First of all, the back thing.
Yeah, so... 9 years ago I was a stupid kid who thought I was way better at rock climbing than I actually was. It was August and 100 degrees outside and I traversed a rock face that I had climbed before, but never without being roped in. Long story short, I ended up with a titanium cage around my spinal cord and a spinal fusion of the T12-L2. It still gives me issues to this day.

Recently my doctor found that there had been some loosening of my hardware which is causing me major muscle spasms. It feels like my whole Lat muscle on both sides has a charlie horse. ALL OVER IT. It sends electric pains down my legs. Needless to say it had me very worried. I talked to a neurosurgeon who felt that the risk of surgery would be greater than the benefit would be, so I am only to continue with physical therapy. I have always been afraid of this situation. Knowing what goes into surgical procedures is my job, and it is common knowledge that knee or hip replacements are only meant to last 10-15 years... How long could a spine replacement last?!

LUCKILY! This week, my overtime goes down and I start PT.

Well, I got average.
In all of this, I forgot my reason to be great. Since I have been in pain and forced to not lift, it was like a part of my soul had been forcibly taken. My standards fell, and so did my confidence. And thus, all my motivation.

I love the Biggest Loser, and seeing Jillian back!

I'm not interested in being a cardio bunny. Sure, I like a hard run, but I don't believe that ever doing one thing only will bring you good results. Our bodies were designed for adversity. Although I will not be running anytime soon, I crave the ability to sweat hard from a terribly hard workout. I can't even push my body that hard at this point. However, studies have shown that the best people, happiest, highest powered, most wise, recently wealthy, is due to the simple fact that they faced adversity and overcame it.

The same studies have shown that people who have everything handed to them in life, end up less wealthy, less wise, and more depressed. Excess isn't a positive thing when not earned. (I can certainly provide references, if someone REALLY has an issue with this statement. In which case, you're probably spoiled rotten. LOL!)

We CRAVE things to make ourselves proud.

And it isn't like I got overweight, I'm not. Just average.

But if there is anything I am positive about myself, is that I am not average.

So, in the coming weeks follow me on my journey to recovery. I will show what I am learning about keeping a healthy spine, and track my progress in getting back to my goal strength! I am less concerned about my body weight, as I am being strong and my body being functional.

Stay tuned!  First PT appointment & beginning progress pics this week!

10 Weeks Out: All Things Prep

LOL! Sooo.... I started this post TWO weeks ago. I can't believe I haven't posted since 13 weeks out!!! And I also can't believe I'm 10 weeks out! Holy shit... that freaks me out a little. lol I have a lot to say since I haven't talked to y'all... But I have to apologize and confess, I used to blog at work (I know, I know) however since being so busy, I haven't had time but then we have been without Internet at home, so there really hasn't been any opportune times to blog. Super lame.

I CAN'T!
Naw its just hard. I notice I'll be full in and hard on cardio, and my mind chimes in "I.... CAN'T!"
We struggle. That's life. We all have struggles, things we recognize that probably need changing whether we want to or not, or maybe that we desperately want to change. Prep gives off a different kind of struggle, and its different for everyone. My new mantra:

Work the plan. Live the plan. BE the plan.

1st ONLY Prep Sickness.

I got sick last week. And I think most of you remember how terribly I struggled with getting sick last prep, total of 5 separate times over 14 weeks. Yeah, it straight BLEW. Anyway, since I had pneumonia I worked REALLY hard not to get sick again. They say that after you have pneumonia, you're much more susceptible to getting it, so I wasn't really willing to go there.

Anyway, I got a sinus infection starting on Thursday. Sadly, I have been beyond swamped at work so I HAD to go in. I left early both Thursday and Friday and by Monday was feeling tons better. I was healthy for 4 straight months, and honestly was just so happy about that I hardly minded being sick.

Doesn't blowing your nose rock? As a little kid, my mom never really pushed us that when your nose is plugged, you blow it. In her defense, she was a single mom of 3 for a while. It took me until 27 years old to learn this lesson. BUT! Its awesome! I'm blowing my nose constantly, and since I've been sick I've been that gross sweaty chick who is blowing their nose on the treadmill and everyone around is going "EW! Why is she working out?! She should be home and not spreading her sick!" I'm not sick, I'm congested. Plus I wipe down my equipment well. Calm down, you crazy people.

Diet: I'm effing loving this.

Yeah, you read that right. I'm still being allowed some higher sugar veggies like squash and red pepper. I'm almost certain these will be cut in the next couple weeks. But how awesome! I'm getting all the way down to 10 weeks out and still loving on things I love?! Yes please.

I'm having absolutely no issues with getting the food down now, its really ALL being eaten within a matter of minutes.

Cardio: Beef. It's what's for Afternoon Snack.

Cardio has been awesome. I couldn't even say with more joy that I am still only on 45 minutes a DAY of cardio! Do you guys remember what my cardio was last time? Double that. All the way through.

However, here's my beef with running. I've been working on my athleticism and different goals within prep. Prep is a really good time to get better at any one thing (aside from strength lol) physically. You're dropping body fat, so your body can withstand your own weight more easily, you're hydrated, you're nourished, your body is operating completely clean. Anyway, I'm not a natural runner, but I want to be a better runner. I run every day, even threw out a 30 minute run on Thursday when I hadn't run that long since last prep. So, the first part of my beef is really just associated with having had pneumonia. My lungs still do not absorb as much oxygen as they used to, so maintaining a more intense pace and keeping my heart rate steady is difficult, I'm just going to have to BULK up my lungs. :) And by "bulk" I mean, run my ass off until I can't breathe and/or puke. Rinse and repeat.

The second part of my beef is mostly about my running technique. My girl Lisa gave me some good tips and I'm gonna make my way out to Fleet Feet, hopefully this weekend, so they can analyze my technique. I feel like my calves are working really hard. I had started feeling what I thought were shin splints right before prep, so I bought new shoes. However, it didn't go away. I think my foot is striking the ground in the wrong spot or I'm overstriding... Not sure yet, but I'll be excited to see the video that Fleet Feet takes!

Yeah. Running, we have a beef you and I. And it's gonna change this week, just a head's up.

Weights & Weight.
My weight sessions are rocking. I noticed only a slight decrease in strength, which I'm sure will only get worse in the next 10 weeks. :) However I'm incredibly sore EVERYWHERE. My legs are pretty much ready to secede from the union. I did hamstrings Tuesday, they were still sore Thursday when I hammered out that long run, and Friday they really wanted to kick me in the face when I pumped out some hard cardio and quads. No mercy on those babies. I'm seeing some definite changes in the areas I set out to work on in my short off-season, particularly in the abs. I can see the line down the middle, which I have NEVER had.

So, I am down to 113 lbs, which puts me at around 13% body fat. I've dropped 5 lbs in prep, and based on taking my measurements, I've lost an inch in my waist, a full inch off each of my thighs, and a HALF inch off my calves (big progress for me!). Which also means I have 10 more weeks to drop 7lbs. Sa-WEET! There is no room for fear when you're positive you're doing everything possible to obtain the impossible. And without further ado:


I seriously need to try to take pictures in better lighting. Also expecting my suit in a few more weeks, canNOT wait to be wearing that one!! :)

 I promise it won't be so long between blog posts. ;) I miss talking to all of you! Make sure you say hi to me on Twitter or Facebook! I'm ALWAYS on Twitter. Haha!

Have a great week CHAMPIONS! Don't sell yourself short of what you know you're capable of this week! Believe you're the best and workout accordingly! :)

Somewhere Between 12 & 16

I had this whole post written out about my off-season plans weeks ago, and I wasn't totally sure if I was going to share this or not, but I'm getting a few emails about my plans... Since we all know that by the time I actually compete... I will have spent... 16 MONTHS preparing for this! LOL! I am starting to feel like this is a team effort to get me to the stage, and you all are my team! :) So, thanks for keeping me going Team!

About 12 weeks away from the Night of Champions, something occurred to me:

I am leaner than I have ever been. In better shape than I have ever been. The last thing I want is to gain a bunch after the most proud moment of my life, only because I dieted for 18 weeks and can't control my binging.

And what does my friend Kari Keenan always say? "Failing to plan is planning to fail." Little does Kari know, I take all her words to heart.

The plan? Well, I only wanted to gain back 5 or 6 lbs. (Update: At the doctor last night I weighed 111.5 lbs, which is actually only up by 3 lbs from my lowest prep weight!)

One of the things I learned in my very first competition prep, is obviously how my body responds to a great many things. I had no clue, let me rephrase, NO CLUE how my body would react to the "stress" of Contest Prep. And by "stress" I mean:
-Different diet than I was used to: Extremely high protein, upwards of 200g per day and very high volume of food.
-Excess cardio: Every morning 6 days a week, and every afternoon 6 days a week, and continuing to go up from there.
-Time! I had no time! EVAR!
-Anxiety: I had some anxiety about competing, strutting my stuff on stage in a teeny-tiny bikini, and fear that I wouldn't bring my body fat down enough. Ha! Why do we worry about dumb things? lol
-Anxiety also led to: insomnia, teeth grinding, crying, neglecting Handsome, forgetfulness, etc.

But the one thing I learned about myself, which is probably the more important thing to take away from this is... I'm curvy. My body retains a curvy shape (thanks mom!). I truly have hip & butt muscles. Hello! :) Also, my muscles get stringy the moment I go off creatine. I cycled off creatine the last week in July and first week in August and those whole 2 weeks, I just noticed that my body almost wanted to go bikini. Kind of like my brunette hair wanting to be blonde.

It became a thought at about 11 weeks out, more of a discussion at 9 weeks out, and a decision at 6 weeks out. I have nothing but love and a special admiration for girls who do figure... I seriously think these women are SO SEXY!!!, but believe that my physique is better suited in the Bikini Division, especially after some posing. The look of the bikini girl is just as hard to achieve as a figure girl, and am inspired by their lifestyles.

I feel that I have made a well informed decision and am excited for what will really be only 3-4 months of off season will bring to my body. Training for figure brought me confidence I could have never achieved in going straight into bikini. I also feel that training for figure has brought me to a more muscular point, which seems to be what judges are looking for (me!)... And I couldn't be more proud of the round shoulders I've built or the nice muscular back I worked on for months.

I have to admit, I have been excited for this for weeks. I began planning my off-season about a month prior to NOC and finalized it that entire week I was out with pneumonia. I had quite a few reasons and ideas in mind:
* Trying to by-pass the post-competition blues by having a plan to move right into.
* Succeed at by-passing the post-competition blues by having a plan I'm excited to move right into!
* Tapering off cardio, so I'm not stuck with loads of new pounds... (but with pneumonia, this didn't happen... Cardio went to a grinding halt and I had to purely rely on diet. A strength I never knew I had.)
* Having a post-comp diet plan to move right into that supplements my tapering off cardio & moving into a build... with loads of foods I've missed so I can be excited about it and not feel the need to cheat all the time.

Kinda funny now, I had all those plans and pneumonia really messed up everything. BUT! I have my diet and workouts planned through the end of the year. Of course I always leave myself the freedom to change whenever I want, but I enjoy having a focus and a plan.

Like I mentioned, my body is in a prime condition to build right after leaning out for a comp, which I had been doing for 18 weeks, shed 15 lbs & went from 21% body fat all the way down to 10% (ish). Before that, I spent 8 months adding muscle. So, my body is getting used to this cycle: Build up, lean out, build up, lean out.

Going back, since I have spent 18 weeks on a very low carb, no fat, very high protein diet... My muscles literally had NO glycogen stores by the time I was home sick with pneumonia. After my first cheats, I was willing to bet my muscles would soak all that up! Might as well use that energy to work on the body parts NOW and not when I think its time that I might be ready for a build. I am ready now!

My first 4 weeks post-prep (I can't really call it post-comp can I, lol?), like I've mentioned before, are moving right into a build.

1. October: My first 4 weeks (once I'm back from being sicky) was going to be focused on tapering off cardio from 80 mins a day, down to 15-20 by the end of October. However, since I more or less just STOPPED doing cardio, I don't feel a huge need to taper off. Once I get back, I'm sticking to 15-25 mins a day. Diet intake has to increase by quite a bit to build, and that has certainly already happened. I plan to go back on creatine only during these 4 weeks to truly supplement this build. I am looking to add a little muscle in the hamstrings, glutes, & abs. 
2. November: November is going to be a few things. More cardio just to lean out some of the fat I most likely put on during October. I really want to make more room for other things this month... Maybe some TRX workouts with some old football cone & T-Drills (I LOVE conditioning/cardio work... maybe another reason Bikini is better suited for me), definitely a lot of yoga, and some fighting classes! I do plan on going back into my first phase of contest diet for the month.
3. December: December will be about building once more. This will depend on how my physique shaped out in my first build. If my trainers and I feel that I need just a little more, then I will go that route. I expect to still need to add a little... I have zero abs right now lol. I want abs.      Abs.
4. January: January will be much like November, but with less cardio. Because I expect to start Contest Prep sometime in January for heading to the Emerald Cup (& maybe the Empire Classic... its the week after the Emerald... we'll see what Handsome thinks about this...). January 30th is 12 weeks out but when I start will depend on what I look like in January. But I would like to make 12 weeks my goal, which will hopefully keep me focused thru the holidays.

I think next time going into a competition, I will be more excited for prep. I have a lot more figured out this time... Meal prep, what works, what doesn't... I will have a LOT less weight to lose and figure my prep will be 12 weeks and not 18... And probably less cardio because of that as well! :) AND! Patrick and I will be much more prepared financially.

So! What am I working on??
I took the opportunity to have my prep-coach evaluate my physique once I was about a week out. I was finally lean enough to see exactly what I wanted to work on in my own body. I felt like I couldn't really see the muscles until that point. By then, I also felt like I was seeing myself as I was. Its hard to not have distorted vision on your own body during contest prep since you are CONSTANTLY evaluating your body lol! Also by that point, I knew I was going to continue in Bikini.

Although many say that the Bikini division is so subjective, and it is, there is some science to it. Judges are looking for certain muscles to be round, some to look athletic, etc.
* BOOTAY - This muscle will be built. And in Bikini it is a LOT about the booty. Which I have a lot of, but want just a bit more to appear really tight as I lean out.
* Hips & Inner Thighs - No kidding. I feel like I need only just a little more muscle in each, but I feel like it will help my existing fat pockets grip to my body more easily. Will help shape the fat, since I can't always get rid of it. :) Good plan, eh?
* Abs & Obliques - I want to create that definition, and again... give my fat some muscle to cling to.
* Lower Back - Just slightly. I want to also increase strength here, more than I'm looking for size. Will help me stick that booty out. LOL! There IS a reason for this, the fusion in my spine (T12-L2) is directly on my waist, so I can't flex backward much right there. I have to rely on my lower back for this.
* Hamstring Tie-In - I am more or less happy with the size of my hamstrings, but really want to work on that tie in. This will pretty much just be a whole lot of lunges, single leg presses, and split squats.
* Biceps & Shoulders - Both only slightly. Both I would just like more round.
*I am currently very happy with the size of my triceps, my upper back (traps & lats), and quads. 

So, since we are all in this together, I am making a committment to myself and to all of you. You all have given me much encouragement and insight on my journey to the stage, that I feel an avenue for progress is exactly what I need in the next 4 months. You can expect from me (and feel free to yell/slap me if I miss one):
*Progress pictures at the end of every month
*Detailed progress of my previous month, including weight. I really want to be sure I maintain. For those of you who don't know my philosphy on weight, it is just a measurement of progress.... NOT a measurement of
value. I like to know my weight, so I know how much lean body mass I have.





So I am leaving you with these photos, not ones I wanted to share... In fact, I really wanted to keep these to myself, as I feel kind of self-conscious since the physique you see is definitely not my peak.  These two photos are from 12 days out, where I was about 108 lbs & 10% bf (which we can tell I hold almost completely in my lower body). But I feel they will be important for progress. PLUS! How much fun is it going to be for all of us to compare when I go into contest prep and we can see the new booty I've built?! :)

Loads of fun ahead! I might even ask you all to help me pick a new suit! Alright, I'm kinda indecisive and am not sure about my Barbie Pink suit. It really didn't look as bright online as it is in person, but I have no idea how it will look under stage lights and with a tan. Possible off-season project!

I am now cleared to workout consistently so.....

Let Operation BOOTAY commence! Dangerous curves ahead! ;)

9

Are we ready for this???

So, I have 9 days left of this madness, then cycling off my diet & so much cardio over the coming weeks. I have loved this process and am stoked to be in the best shape of my life and leaner than I have ever been. But I am ready for an off-season. I am ready to be my boyfriend's girlfriend. I am ready to make soup again every Sunday and bake whenever I felt like it. I am ready to have more time at home with my dogs and more time to give to my whole family in general. I am ready for some R&R (literally in every capacity).

But not yet. :)

Facts.
This coming week will mark my 18th full week on Contest Prep and mark the 10th month I have been preparing to step on stage. I haven't loved every minute of it, I am ready for it to be over... BUT I am very thankful for it. I spent a solid 6 months building my back, shoulders & shaping everything. Then to have spent a long 18 weeks leaning out... I am beyond thankful. Contest Prep has put me into a pattern and I am embracing that, especially with my off-season plans.

I'm hungry.

Diet.
Sunday brought a change. No more casein before bed. Wahhhh! We are trying to let my system flush out anything processed and therefore shed any of the water weight it causes. I had the option of doing any meat source I wanted, so I've decided to do egg whites before bed...
First attempt: Egg whites, cinnamon, a dropper full of vanilla stevia, sea salt. Was trying to go for the breakfast for dinner kind of thing... It was alright!
Second attempt: Egg whites, pumpkin pie spice, a dropper of stevia & sea salt. It was okay this time. I liked the flavor better, but towards the end of my dish... It seemed less than appealing.
Third attempt: Went with hot sauce because I was too tired to be creative.

Diet Stories.
On Wednesday, I was peeling egg whites off of hard boiled eggs (like I do..), and my co-worker asked if she could have one of my eggs (... she meant just the yokes)... I can tell you I almost lost it. I freaked out, turned bright red, started sweating as I tried to explain to her that I am just on the bare minimum of nutrition and need EVERYTHING to keep going. As she explained she just wanted my yokes, I felt my blood pressure go down. But seriously people, don't ask to have my food. I will give you an emphatic and loud "NO!"
(Okay, Wednesday I was hitting a new level of crazy)
THEN, I got my diet plan for Saturday thru Peak Week. SQUEEEEEEEE!!!! That was the light at the end of the tunnel that I needed. And what is on it for show day?? PANCAKES! I can't believe carb up time is ALMOST here!! But until then, I have noticed I am always hungry. ALWAYS. Again, I'm eating every 2-2.5 hours... but getting hunger anxiety around an hour (Before my family chimes in that I'm not being healthy, I am getting PLENTY of water, electrolytes, vitamins, minerals, and protein). I can do this... Only a few more days...

Training.
Monday I went into cardio with full force. I had some extra energy somehow and pumped it out like nothing. To the point where I left the gym before work excited to go back in the afternoon to show myself what I was made of!
Tuesday I was tired. Almost always to be expected after pushing really hard one day. Except this time, I want to feel like I've done everything I could. And its my last chance. I was exceedingly tired and somehow pushed thru a run around in the country surrounding our home. :) It was incredible. I just kept saying in my head, "F**k this, I can do it." I keep being told to conserve my energy and walk if need be, but if I have the energy or desire, why not? What is the worst that could happen? I lose energy and walk like I was supposed to? I was proud of myself and went to bed feeling like a goddess. Because having the opportunity to go home gave me extra time for laundry and to catch up around the house. :)
Wednesday I woke up extra tired as for some reason, and for as tired I was... I didn't sleep a wink. I considered going for a run in the middle of the night, but don't really want to be eaten by anything. I got up at 345 and made it to cardio.

Posing.
Every day this week. There is no reason not to at this point. I might be tired etc, but it is necessary being this close. :) Fact, there were a couple days in there this week that I practiced before and after my PM workout session.
AND! On Tuesday, I got to pose in front of a lovely new friend, Stacy, who also uses my trainer for her nutrition! Thanks for being my guinea pig Stacy!! :) I am definitely trying to practice in front of new people, helps me take the edge off.
I do just want to say however, that I know that the point of this period of time is to squeeze every molecule of glycogen out of the muscles, but DAMN! I look super skinny. I look deflated and tired. I am very much looking forward to my rest day on Sunday and carbing up next week.

Stage Stuff.
All my appts are booked like I've said, but now its just waiting for them to happen.

Off-Season.
SO excited for a build. Like I mentioned last week, my body will be in prime condition for a build... I have been losing fat for so long (18 weeks, 12%, and 12 lbs later, maybe more before ...), my muscles are aching for something to hold onto. And I am going to give them just that! :) All of my off-season plans will be enclosed in a later post, but again... Just so excited to build in certain areas. I spent a good long time building before contest prep, and have much more experience this time around. But, I am looking at my physique as it is... and as I am very lean now... and seeing what muscles I want to improve... Its hard to wait when you want to work on something! Just like it was hard to wait for contest prep! ;)
But in all body-builder seriousness, that's kind of just what you do... You build, and then lean out... you build, and then lean out. Woot!

Misc.
*Chelsea, I know exactly what you mean. My list of recipes is getting very long. VERY long. :)
Although I have a thousand things I need to bake, I am limiting myself. But this way it (whatever I make) does continue to be viewed as a treat, and not normalcy that I can have everyday. Except for Sunday right after my contest. Sunday, I am allowing myself to bake 4 items. And most of it will be taken to various people that deserve a treat for putting up with my crazy these last 10 months, in this order:

1. Caramel Macchiato Cheesecake
2. Hazelnut Chocolate Chip Scones
3. Chocolate Chip Pecan Cookies
4. Apple Crisp

I think that will suffice for my first bake-a-thon. After that, I plan to only choose 1 item a week to bake.
*Wednesday night, I didn't sleep again. I had taken medication last night to help me sleep, and I don't remember waking up at all... But at some point, I realized that I was awake and thinking. I didn't get back to sleep. Sleep and I need to be very intimate friends tonight. I am very much a zombie today.
*Still hanging out at 108 lbs, but I don't expect this for long. My hot flashes have been acting up allllll week. And I think we all know what that means!!! :) (my metabolism is up, just in case I was wrong and you all don't know lol)
*New Prep Pet Peeve: Slow down on dirt roads if you see someone running! The dust is killing my lungs...

Bloggers.

Oh my word I love you guys so much! You all are such a huge encouragement and I feel so flattered that you all think of me enough to say something every week! You all have made a huge difference in my prep and I thank each and every one of you!

30 Day Yoga Challenge

If anyone can recall, one of my goals in 2011 was to complete a 30 day yoga challenge. And I'm doing the Bikram style yoga so it is always the same: 90 minutes of the same sequence of 26 yoga postures in a room at 105 degrees & 40% humidity. If you've never experienced a session of Bikram...

It freaking rocks.

What The???

I recommend it to anyone (which is why I'm going to be a teacher full-time [someday]). In May, I will complete 30 days straight of yoga. And actually, I'm starting a week from today, April 27th, so I end May 26th. It occurred to me that Memorial Day is coming and we'll probably head out of town; I think Handsome will appreciate that I decided to plan my fitness goals around our personal life for once, instead of the other way around. :)

Why Am I Doing This?!

• I want to levitate. Not literally, emotionally. I'd like to balance myself and work out my insecurities before going into contest prep mid-July (see below). Yoga got me through a divorce, I'm positive it can strengthen my heart during this season of my life.
• I plan on becoming a yoga teacher in the fall, and one must complete at least a 30 day challenge beforehand. PS-Teacher training includes 60 days of straight yoga and most days are 2 classes a day. :)
• May is the only time I can fit it in before competing in October and beginning teacher training around the same time.

What is my plan of action regarding competing?????

• Yes, I did make the decision to compete! :) I have decided on an October show as my first.
• I plan to continue lifting in the mornings (M-F yoga classes will always be at 4, and Sat-Sun will always be at 930am), I plan to continue on creatine on my lifting days, and I plan on adjusting my diet slightly to intake some more protein so as to pro-actively ensure I do not lose any muscle mass during this time.

Am I afraid of anything regarding this???

• Although I have been afraid in the past, I am making the decision to not be afraid and just do it.
• I will, however, admit that I am afraid concerned on how this will affect my muscles. I've been working really hard for my muscle size and am concerned this may bring a stringy-lengthy look to my muscles. (If any figure competitor out there has any suggestions on what I can do to prevent this, please PLEASE tell me! :)

Where am I doing this at?

• Yarrow Yoga Hot Yoga & Wellness Studio in Spokane. Check out their website if you like!

PS: I'd love friends to join me during this 30 days! If you've ever wanted to try it, please let me know so we can make plans to hot yoga it up during May!

Here's to strength, vitality, and beauty! Bring it on, yoga.

The Pinnacle

I doubt if anyone (besides my sister) can recall, when I first began my weight loss "project" I had one reward in mind and I was dying to own them.

I would look at them all day online, even add some to my online cart... And yet could never buy. You see, my calves were and are large. I gain weight first in my calves and lose it last in my calves, which are also just very naturally muscular. So I would try on pair after pair and the zippers would just never go all the way up.... That is, until today.

BOOTS

Thanks to my sister, who gave me a DSW gift card for my birthday, she is WANTED for aiding and abetting a known boot lover and could serve a term of up to ENDLESS HUGS.

I feel like a pirate in these... However! The flap also goes over the knee for a HOT knee high look...
And what's a little pirate without a little BOOTAY?! -Gosh, thanks plyos! ;) -

Happy weekend friends & yogis. I'm going to the casino in these tonight. ;)