Improvement Season Begins

I caught that darn bug. But I'm pretty sure we all knew I would :) *SIGH* It was an amazing experience. I feel like I can never really explain it quite right, but the end feeling... the completion... the result of stepping on stage perfectly proud of what you have done... One can only experience it for themselves to truly empathize with what I'm talking about.

From what I understand, its like giving birth. And being born. Women go through months and months of discomfort to come to the end which is hours upon hours of pain... To be presented with a beautiful child coming straight from their own body. And competing is similar: we work for months constantly tired and uncomfortable. And come peak week, it can be painful lol. Except in the end we present something so much more amazing than we could ever predict or imagine. When I was imagining the package I would bring to the stage, it wasn't this...

I'm being serious! I definitely didn't expect it. Because at one point, I was this....

Going from the longest week of my life down to the shortest minutes of my life, it really was such an incredible experience. I was so glad that I took the last couple of days off before the show, really just to get all my stuff done... errands and appointments.

Ugh errands, they wear me the eff out. Wednesday night after work, I headed straight to Huckleberry's. For those that don't live in this area, they're really the only "health food"/"yuppy" place in the city. We only recently got a Trader Joe's, there is no Whole Foods around. Lame. And the reason I needed to go there specifically was because they're the only place that sells my favorite beer.

FireWeed!

After my workout, I headed to Wal-mart for some things. On Thursday, I met with my prep coach in the morning and then headed straight to get waxed. Oh man. That poor girl saw more of me than she probably ever wanted to. Full legs, underarms, Brazilian, and eyebrows. If errands didn't wear me out, that did. Results are totally worth it. ;)

Waxing almost everywhere lol, nails did, toes did and tan... All the running around wore me out! And driving with the spray tan... UGH! But let me tell you a little lesson I learned... No one can tell your tan smudges from the stage. Just sayin... I worried way too much about nothing.

And I have to admit, I wasn't even remotely nervous. It was fun being back stage seeing people snack on gummi bears and jelly beans, watching the Physique guys gorge on Krispy Kremes after they were done with the stage. I learned all about that unspoken rule of helping other competitors... I taped no less than 3 bikinis to boobs & bootys. It was also fun meeting the other girls my coach trains! I love that backstage, no one appears super competitive. Because we all know at that point, there is nothing we can do to get better. When it came time to take the stage, I knew in that moment that I could not have done anything differently. 

The reality is that at this very moment in time, I could not have done any better. We go through long periods of time controlling ourselves and holding onto our self-discipline and working intensely on our character to obtain something we want. But we aren't perfect, and we can't expect to be perfect. We can only expect to do our best. And if this is where my body is its best at this very moment, then that was ME doing my best.

And I think this took away the nerves and anxiety, because I knew. And I am on cloud 9.

Hmmm, maybe it isn't taught how to pose for the money shot.. :)

 I took second in Bikini Class A. I was told that the judges were looking for a softer and rounder look with the shift in all divisions. However! 2nd place for my first competition?! I'll take that!  

My first meal ended up being a beer and a Subway BLT... in bed. No joke, I took a shower and got in bed with my food... Bliss. Later we decided to go out for a nice Seafood dinner at the Coeur d' Alene Resort.

And thus begins the off-season! :) I was sore ALL weekend from the show. Flexing & posing so long made me incredibly sore in my quads, abs & back! But I spent Monday right back on track with the diet so I can ease carbs back in, was all over the water even though it made me realize how bloated I truly was haha! And was right back on cardio & weights to put these calories to use. I'm itching to plan my next shows, but excited for time to improve and work on wedding & business stuff.  I'll update with my professional photos & video when I get it!

Thanks for all your support everyone! :) You guys kept me going!

Peak Week!

This post originally started out as a timeline journal... And then it turned into a rant. And it is kind of a rant, but its really just me being carb depleted/hungry/sore/exhausted, bitchy AND sick. ;)  Also kind of a hodgepodge of what's going on and questions I have for any and all that want to answer!

Troubles.
I'm getting really damn clumsy about now. Carb depleted + zoning out at work = papercut on my eye, knocking over coffees, etc.
I got really sick on Tuesday. At first I thought maybe I was breaking a threshold... I threw up all over my office. In front of my boss who already loves the fact that I do this, no less (note sarcasm), and during a teleconference I started vomiting fish & asparagus. Lovely. Consequently, I bloated big time. Throwing up apparently made my body hold absolutely every molecule of water and my mind freak the hell out. A few days of consistent nutrition and water and I'm back to normal. :)
However, Friday night I was feeling kinda sinusy... So I took EXTRA care of myself... Did the nedi med, took Mucinex and Afrin (which is what my doc has said to do when I feel that way. I get a lot of sinus infections.). Early Saturday morning I woke up... sick. 

Diet.
Most of the time when I think about food lately, its having to do with just wanting more... Just more rice. Or more sweet potato. More oatmeal with protein powder. By the way, oatmeal and cinnamon is sucking right now. I usually spend almost my whole workday saying one of two things (in my head, of course):
"Can I just go now?"
"Shit! I took so damn long to eat my last meal that its time to eat again."

Workouts.
I have only 3 days left of lifts... OMG I can't believe this is here! I have to admit that I have a little anxiety about my body. Not much, but I think this has to do with a couple of things... Firstly, I've never done a competition before. I don't know what judges are looking for at a local competition or if my physique will be anything like what they're looking for. I know I shouldn't be concerned with my placing, but you know what?! I'm someone who likes to do well at what I commit myself to, and I'm not ashamed of that. Second, I'm currently sick and a lot has to happen in the next week for the bloating to come off.

Abs seem like they take EVERYTHING I have to work them well, and since abs have been a focus during my offseason and prep, its important that I get it in until the very end! I'm so excited to do a few full body workouts next week just for something different. Cardio has been awesome. Running when I can and elliptical or bike when I can't run. However, I almost never have energy to run... I just set the treadmill at running speed and GO.

I had to have a conversation with Patrick about how life in our home will be this week... Especially since I'm sick...
Look, for the next 6 days...
-I will barely be doin laundry. I already don't separate whites from dark's and already use my washing machine as a laundry basket... But I will probably not be putting it away... Only taking what I need out of the dryer.
-I can't promise that I'll stop for every stop sign. Or do the speed limit, clearly.
-I also can't promise that I'll smell good. Or care.
-Bathroom breaks take precedence over any important conversation. Unless you want to clean up THAT mess.

I keep being told how awesome I look. And you know, for how shitty I feel right now... I had frickin better look awesome! ;)

Post-Contest.
Yeah so... we know that I'll be planning a wedding and stuff, but I'm also the kind of person that needs another goal. I don't want the blues, which I know will happen anyway, but I like goals and want one. I think I want to try to run a 10K.. And my question is, has anyone reading ever successfully gone from a contest diet to a runners diet? I'm sure my mind partially has to do with this anxiety about switching diets, but honestly the change will be semi-extreme if I was to go RIGHT into the runner's diet. So, I probably won't make the switch drastic or immediate... Because that would mean going from a very low carb, high protein diet straight into high carb. Anyway, like I said I'm sure its partially my mind playing with me... But I think we ALL know that going straight into high carb never works out well post-contest.

Special shout out to my amazing Momma! She took time out of her saturday to help me wax my back for me! Not like she's never seen all I got, but I still appreciate the kind of loyalty she gives! Love you Momma! You are the best mom for me. :)

Anyway, I'm on a mission to finish this one. I've only got 6 days. 6 workouts. And only have a 3 day work week... I can do anything for that amount of time. Its amazing that I've found the one and only time that my mind is genuinely stronger than my body. Boo! But at the same time, that is kind of encouraging. To know I am truly stronger on the inside, will give me power to make my body stronger as a whole.

Have a great week everyone! I promise to update as the week progresses! :) Peak Week is HERE!!!! HOLLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11 Days Out

2 weeks. Actually, 11 days. That's it. Every single day my body is changing and its absolutely unbelievable. I've always read girls' blogs, but never really knew for myself that this is true… But the biggest changes really do happen in the last few weeks. I've started taking progress pictures every other day, because that is really how much I notice it changing.

Diet.
I've been without a cheat now for 4 weeks, which has been interesting. The more that time passes, the more I forget that I've been without. I only look forward… To pancakes, that is. :) I'm mostly on fish & egg whites, by choice sort of. The fish I've been told to. The egg whites really are because chicken has been giving me indigestion! I'm completely off of whey protein now, and was completely off casein at night on Saturday. Wahhh!!! ;( I started phasing off of it last week. Some part of me desperately is holding onto the "dessert before bed" thing, in which a chocolate casein shake is awesome! However, its time to let that go for a couple weeks. Last night, however, I have to admit that hot egg whites with hot sauce in bed... Was pretty awesome. That's probably because I'm fricking starving.

But let's talk about these pancakes a second...
I will be having, on contest day, gluten free pancakes with blueberries and a little sugar-free syrup. Along with some black coffee. Yes. 11 days to pancakes.

Cardio.
Cardio has been hard. I mean HARD hard. Doing the same amount I have been for a while, and only 60 mins a day, but it takes so much more energy to do it than it has in the past. New music, apps, & twitter keep me nice and distracted... But sometimes, even the best music can't gear you up for even the most minimal cardio session when you have absolutely no energy left. Calf cramps are completely gone now that I have incorporated Essential Electrolytes regularly into my supplement regimen.

If you have any kind of a cramp issue, and have never tried the EE's… they're AMAZING! EE's have changed my life. They really do help balance your electrolytes, and have no sugar so they can be taken throughout prep! No calf cramps, no middle of the night cramps, no side stitch.

Weights.
Weights have been even harder. I mean, and I'm pretty little so my strength is just nuthin! I'm pushing and getting through it, but I'm also allowing myself the grace to be okay with 5 lb weights. Just as long as I'm getting it in! Luckily, a good friend Maggie has been working out with me on my hamstring/glute day which has been SO helpful. This is about the period of time where I genuinely don't mind when people want to talk, because the distraction helps me get through it without having to think about it. And the encouragement helps in a major way.

However, the changes make it all worth it. They keep me going! Quad separation is something I only day dreamed about before… And now its coming in. The abs, oh man, the abs. My abs come out more all the time, its amazing. Every day I get more and more excited. And not to sit here and pick myself apart, but I'm praying to the prep gods that my calves come down. Right now my calves are about as big as my thighs (or so it seems). Its literally the last place my body is holding fat. I genuinely don't think my calves are large, I think that's where my body wants to hold fat on top of well defined calf muscles. And when I pinch, the pinches are thick. Anyway, this is what keeps me on this diet. If I felt like I looked perfect, I might be tempted to cheat. However, I continue to work so hard just to ensure they come down… even if its down to the last day!

By the way, you know how I promised I wouldn't weigh until about 2 weeks out? Well, I didn't… Until about 2 weeks out… And I'm down to 105.0 lbs. So crazy! I've dropped 2.5 lbs in just the last 2 weeks, definitely the leanest I've EVER been at about 9% bf. I do love, also, that the fat has come off less in my face as it has in the past. I think keeping some fat in my face looks better, I don't want to look gaunt & skinny! I want to look healthy!

Contest Prep Realities.
More as the days go on, I have to remind myself that now isn't the time to pull out my baking stuff I've had in storage for the last 15 weeks. But I desperately want to bake. I miss baking. Baking was a therapy for me (so was eating the baked goods, but we won't go there). However, also more as the days go on, the less baked goods sound good to me. Butter & flour right now genuinely sounds like it will just make me ill. You know what I want right now?? A banana. Anything that I know would truly give me good burnable energy.
Also as the days go on, the less I am concerned with smelling or looking good. My make up is generally half-assed. My hair pretty much always looks slept on. I'm very fuzzy right now so I'm always working out in long shirts, which make me not smell so good when I sweat. Whatever. I bet I just wreak of fish & eggs when I'm on cardio.

Also also as the days go on, the more interesting life gets. I feel like I'm simply witnessing all these things happening while I only sit here and observe my own life. lol! Here... Let me give you an example...

Monday.
I shit myself. Yeah, you read that right. And here are the realities of contest prep ladies, I eat so much protein for my small stature (250g+ per day) that I got so backed up, that one too many cups of coffee made it so I couldn't QUITE make it to the bathroom. In my defense, the closest restroom to my office is about a football field away. It wasn't noticeable to anyone else but myself, but still enough to have me want to change my pants. I decide to take my lunch to go home. I have 30 minutes to take exactly a 30 minute trip.

So I go home, change my pants, start a wash, kiss my dogs and get on my way.

Going just a tiny bit fast in order to get back to work on time, I pass a cop knowing that I'm going 5 over.. And figure he won't pull me over because its only 5 over. WRONG! I full-on (I'm not sure what a "Full-on" ticket is, but I got one) get a ticket for going only 5 over. I don't even try to fight him also in order to get back to work close to on time.

By the way, the whole time I'm over my meal timing requirements. I get back to work feeling like "I had better eat before I DIE."

In hindsight, I now wonder what the cop would have did if I had said to him when asked why I was going so fast:

"I was going so fast because I shit my pants, had to run home on my 30 minute lunch, and am going a tad fast in order to get back to work on time."

Patrick thinks I should have fought him some. Que Sera.

Another reality is how effing difficult it is to get about of bed about now... In order to make sure I do, this has been done:

Yeah, that happens every morning. Just to make sure.

Stage!
In regards to stage stuff… wow, I have a whole lot coming. This weekend I got my hair done and am so excited! I haven't had my hair colored in MONTHS. I've also been tanning regularly just as a form of therapy to myself… So as to not reward myself with food. I hate to say that I'm not shaving anymore (UGH! I hate being fuzzy), as I'm getting my body waxing done this weekend and the bikini wax next week. My suit fits awesome, and I can't wait to show it to you guys! I've got my nail appointment set for the weds before my show… And I have nothing more to say other than I'm so excited! Excited, exhausted, depleted, short on patience, very short on energy and so so happy.

In other news..
Bang's Lawn Care is up and running! Patrick is going full force into this and is doing awesome! He has been able to help me do so much around the house since I've been way way too tired/busy to do much. I love that I have a partner that will willingly pick up the slack when needed. All women should have that.

Wedding plans are slow going, but I'm alright with that for now… I've got ALL summer to plan the wedding. However, we have scheduled our engagement photos for May 12th and am SO excited for that. The slow moving of the planning is kind of giving me time to decide more, think more, and just day dream. :) I'm sure you guys all know that since we live in the country, although we don't listen to country, we love country/rustic/romantic weddings. And that's exactly what I want… Relaxed, rustic, and romantic. And do it all with a BANG (pun intended. Hehe!) (In case people aren't getting that, my married last name truly will be Bang. Lacey Bang. LOL! It makes me laugh every time I read it.)!

Love you guys! Can't wait to share contest photos with you all! :)

Rollercoasters

In all reality, the only true thing for every competitor is that contest prep is a rollercoaster. One minute you find yourself so low that you barely know how to handle anything, the next you find yourself so amped about the progress you're making and just want more. And then the next hour, you feel like life is going soooo fast. And then later that night, life feels perfect. 


The ego and super-ego always seem to be at war. Because sometimes you'd be willing to slay a dragon for a cookie-dough ProMax bar and a cup of blueberries. Dragons don't exist. Delusional? Yes. Whatever.


The Lows.
What is that quote from the movie Dogma? Something like.. "I think its better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.."


And I guess a plan is just that, a plan. You can change it as time goes on. Then why do I feel like such a jerk when I cancel plans?

-Contests-
Well, so it turns out I'm not doing the Emerald Cup in Seattle on April 21st. Things have gone nutso in my personal life. Aside from getting engaged, it turns out Patrick is heading full force into his landscaping business. - "Bang's Lawn Care" -Which means we have no idea what our finances are going to look like this year. And in order to be sure that we can afford our wedding this year (which we are paying for ourselves), we both had to make sacrifices. And in my case, that means giving up one comp. I mean, we're gonna be saving on gas money, hotel expenses, hair expenses, tanning, etc. It can add up to a lot. 


BUT! I'm still going forward with the Empire Classic on April 28th. And that is extremely exciting for me…


The Highs.
because! Duh-da-da-DUHHHH (got that?)!!!! I hit my weight goal from the end of last prep, actually, I BEAT it! And on my birthday, no less! I hit 107.5lbs on Thursday the 22nd when I ended last prep at 108lbs, which puts me around 10.5% body fat. I haven't weighed myself since then and probably won't for 2 more weeks... I want to give myself the drive to make that scale move. AND I have 4 more weeks!! WHAT?!


I wonder what having ab definition and quad separation is going to feel like? :) Probably awesome!


I got in my new suit! :) I won't be posting a pic on here, gotta leave myself some kind of an edge over my competition. You never know who is lurking haha.


The Real. 
Cardio.
Still at 60 minutes a day! So excited that isn't 80 or 90 like last prep. But doing HIIT is getting difficult. Its taking quite a bit more focus to perform effectively. But also I have to admit that not focusing on my weight whatsoever, has helped me focus on getting enough water during cardio. I know its kinda silly, but my brain would subconsciously not have me drink water when I knew I was going to weigh myself soon.
 
Weights.
I have the strength of a wee girl. Seriously now, 10lb lateral raises for 15? Ugh. Bicep curls 10lbs for 15? Double ugh. However, the looks I get during Romanian Deadlifts from every woman in the gym is getting kinda funny with my booty and legs getting more shapely.
 
Diet.
I wish I had something more to say on this other than I'm hungry. Hungry, irritable, exhausted and indescribably happy. :) I've run out of SuperPump this week, which means I'm done with that for the rest of prep. I've also run out of whey as of today, which means I'm on whole foods. Mostly egg whites and fish right now. Casein gets phased out for food in 2 weeks. And I'm done with cheats! This is making me so excited to see what my body has in store! (I guess I had a lot more to say than I thought lol).

The simple fact that I feel like I have 4 weeks to NOT pay attention to my weight, gives me 4 weeks of straight progress. I'm liking what is going on with my abs, and I'm really liking what my legs are doing. I feel like my body is taking a shape that I like.
By the way, I'm still not putting out the idea of doing Figure someday. :)  


In Other News. 
My wedding planning checklist is telling me that now is a good time to start getting in shape. Good to know! ;)
 
Its true, this blog will probably have some wedding updates and such as time goes on. This off-season is going to be fun, but also its definitely going to be interesting in figuring out what real life looks like again. I've completely stopped tracking my food. This happened really because my iPhone broke (long story) and I had to be without my Food-Log App for a few days. And all of a sudden, I felt such freedom in just eating the right things! Last fall, I was completely freaked out about how I would handle adjusting into off-season. This time, I'm not even remotely nervous for it. 


But let's not get ahead of ourselves, there are many maple scones to be eaten. And many MANY a beer to be had!
 
Wedding Plans?
I am so excited to get married to Patrick. I mean, not to get all mushy and shit, but he genuinely wants me to have the kind of wedding I want… And he never minds discussing ideas and plans. I'm not stressed out, and I'm just enjoying this time. However, when I'm tired and hungry and its taking all of me to focus and just make it prepared to the next day... Its easy to be affected by people. Everyone has an opinion about what you SHOULD do, and honestly its making me not even want to think about planning. So, I'm pretty much putting off everything until after my competition. Sometimes you just have to focus on one thing at a time. 
 
Have a lovely week friends! I'm still stalking blogs even though I'm not always posting. I've got 28 days until this ride ends. Happy, very healthy, in love, and surrounded by people (even virtually) that support me! What else could I ask for? :)

How did I get here?

Man, I'm in like the most surreal life at the moment. Last time we talked I was 8 weeks out, ready to murder my FG, and struggling to hang on to the whirlwind of busy life. So much has happened since then.

First of All.
I don't like being busy all the time. By nature, I'm somewhat of an introvert and very much of a homebody. I crave time at home and really try to leave Sundays for just that. I feel that by being super busy, I pull in more than I can actually handle... Meaning, once I start saying yes to anything, I start saying yes to everything. I've started and not posted at least 3 blogs describing how overwhelmed I felt.

So to deal with my crazy life, and not reward myself with food, I started booking all my shizz for my shows to keep myself distracted and looking forward to things. I made sure my tans were in order for both shows. I've confirmed my hair and waxing appointments. I have been tracking the shipping on my suit, and buying things for my show.

Bling!

This is a stage bracelet I picked out :)

I bought myself a silk robe, because I read that it doesn't take off the tan as much as cotton or velour.

I also bought new shoes. As you can see above that my old shoes on the left were just trashed. Although I had never worn them on stage, I practiced A-LOT! I also chose to go with the ankle straps this time, I never quite felt secure in the style of my old ones.

My suit should be here any day... :)

Swagger.
My prep coaches have been showering me with swagger lately! I told them that is how you keep your clients loyal, give them swagger! LOL!

We got this a few weeks ago. Pretty awesome loose tank!

My prep coaches wife made this, a bag for my shoes, but I'm gonna use it for my suit.

Awesome hoodie! Its so warm I just love it.

And my tanning appointment vendor sent me this in the mail for the Emerald Cup! WORD! :D

Cardio.
Still hanging out doing about 60 minutes a day. I've been taking it down a notch on the elliptical just to make sure I'm not getting sick. SOMEHOW I have managed not to get sick even though I took care of sick Patrick for a whole week.

Weights.
Strength is decreasing but overall I'm having really good workouts. Getting to that point where working out is getting exciting because its so close to the show.

Diet.
NBD. Just kind of hanging in there. This week I finally felt like I found my stride, and the diet got easier. Really not tempted around the house (finally). I started to incorporate more fish this week, just to get myself used to it for what is coming. And it IS coming lol.

5 Week Check-In.
Doing well, my body is starting to shrink in quite a bit.  Weighing in at 109.5lbs which is putting me at 11% body fat. Right on track to hit my weight/body fat goal for stage day.

Not much is changing this week, and the extra fish will help adjust me naturally to the next steps in my diet plan. Protein powders will be phased out very soon, I am sure. In which I am prepared with TONS of extra fish and chicken. Joy!

In Other News.
I'm an engaged woman! I got caught completely by surprise on Friday night when out to dinner at a cheat meal where I THOUGHT we were going to look at rings! I had no idea it was coming. Come to find out he had actually planned on doing it next month after my competition, but couldn't wait. :) He had the cutest planned speech, and I'm so glad that he somehow was sneaky enough to get it all on video because now I can barely remember what he said. The whole time he was going through his speech I was going, "Is this it?! Is this happening right now?! Is this IT?!" He did it at my favorite restaurant, which is right by our house and kind of a homey little romantic place that I adore.

This is so much prettier than anything I had in mind! And Sparkley-er!

I have to get it sized, its huge on my finger but I don't want to part with it! I'm just enjoying being engaged and hopefully it won't become a big stressor... I think we're going to take steps to make sure we're not stressed much by the planning as well as the finances as we'll be paying for it ourselves... AND we're probably getting married in August. So soon!

If nothing else, I can plan wedding stuff to give my mind something to focus on aside from prep!

Have a great week everyone! :)

Putting In Work!

Disclaimer: This is a bitchy post.

Sometimes I put a disclaimer like that on my post, and feel like I'm supposed to say something bitchy right away or explain myself right away. I don't have a big long story to tell you or anything, this is just the culmination of many things that are just getting to me. Well, more than getting to me. I'm borderline breakdown currently, I'm just doing all I can to hold on. And sometimes that's all we can do.

Diet.
WAHHHHH! Diet was going really good, well and it is… But I'm tempted beyond belief. Sometimes I'll be going through a whole day kicking myself and notice that I'm more or less punishing myself for even thinking about cheating. Here's my issue(s).

EVERY EFFING DAY my man is bringin home new delicious foods. Last prep he was really good about suffering with me. This time? Not so much. Bringing home carrot cakes, and chocolate zucchini bread (GRRRR!!!) and just having things around that are making this awful for me. And when he wants me to make something its always cookies, or bacon, or something there is no way I can have and I would love to have. And my irritation level is hitting the point where this might become a fight soon. Really this needs to be a conversation before it does become a real fight. lol

But honestly, my FG (Fat Girl) is really struggling in other areas of my life which makes sticking to the diet harder. I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but I'm tearing up as I type this. This is an area that is really starting to require more attention to detail and will be changing in the very near future, :( And I really need support. My FG is tempted to shove whole chocolate filled donuts down my throat to soothe the other areas of emotional crisis.

My FG is shouting "HELP!" and My Athlete ego is desperately trying to pull FG down the prep road. If you've never had food issues, you probably can't relate. Holla at me if you can!

I did find out in the last couple of weeks that Gluten is going to be a no-go forever in prep. FOREVER! (Say it like in The Sandlot) FOR-EV-VER! I had a burrito for my cheat meal a week ago, with flour tortillas, and it took my body the whole week to recover from it. A whole week lost in prep history. Lame. I got that dumb crampy feeling on the right side of my belly button during cardio the WHOLE WEEK.

Cardio.
Still on 45 minutes a day. Its cool, I'm not having any problems getting it in. I'm mixing it up with the intensities and HIIT levels every day, which is fun. I FINALLY made my way to fleet feet and they recommended some New Balances (duh! I can't believe I got talked into anything else!). They are making a HUGE difference in my PM Cardio sessions, which are always more intense. My shins are now "Good Workout Sore" and not "Muscle Tearing Off The Bone Sore." Yipee!

Weights.
Really loving the improvements my abs and legs are making. I have begun to split up legs again, and am spending all of my sessions focused on what I want to see onstage in that body part. "SLATE flat abs!" "Quad separation!" "Lean ASS!" No joke. Say whatever you want, but its helping me stay focused. And whatever helps us get the job done, right??

Frustrations.
1- The Internet at home has been touch and go. If you're in the Spokane area, don't ever sign up for Century Link! They will EFF you right over!
2- The Internet at work is fine, but the browsers are outdated and I can't update at our big hospital, that's a hospital decision. So I can't ever post my blogs. Thus why I'm only posting every few weeks.
3- Chocolate Zucchini Bread. Where do you get off existing and placing yourself in my home?! Don't ever do that again. EVAR.
4- Where the hell is my tax refund? It’s a week late. So dumb, but grrrr!
5- Work. I'm really REALLY effing overwhelmed and worn down. I think about quitting my job every day. Its genuinely starting to wear on my self-esteem. A promotion is only worth the extra stress, if your pay makes it worth it. And mine isn't.
6- I need girlfriends. I have ZERO in Spokane. All the girlfriends I have/had in this area either all got sick of my fitness fanaticism or started having babies in which they have no time to have friends. I'm actively working on making girlfriends at the gym. But most people (much less females) don't really get my brash/sarcastic sense of humor. Plus I'm so not about female drama, and somehow that makes me not click well with women. I genuinely feel closer to some of the ladies I interact with online than I do my friends in Spokane.
7- I might need to change gyms. Its really stressing me out. I'm kinda not sure I should talk about it (if you're concerned let's email) but Crazy Trainer will be a blog post someday. I promise. :)
8- I miss coffee. 9 more weeks. And bacon.
9- I miss Patrick. He has had to work so much lately that I feel like I never see him. :( And he leaves his delicious/crappy food when he goes. I need my rock right now!

The Positives.
1+ I ordered my stage jewelry! I bought a bracelet and some new earrings. I have a ring already that I think is blingin enough for the stage.
2+ I ordered new stage shoes! Believe it or not, although I have not stepped on stage in my shoes… they are DIRRRRTY! I wear them all the time and we live in the country so dust is everywhere. Might be nice to have a separate pair of shoes for practice and the stage anyway.
3+ I got confirmation that my new suit is on its way! I CAN'T WAIT TO WEAR THIS THING ON STAGE!
4+ I made my tan & hotel reservations for the Emerald Cup. As soon as I get that tax refund, the entry fee will be paid! Its ON!
5+ Weight is still about 110-111 lbs. Only 5 pounds to lose in 8 weeks?! Its so awesome I just have to giggle.
6+ This coming week I will start meeting with Jacques (prep coach) every week. I think I'm ready for that and need it.

7+ I'm still here and still in it! I've only gotten sick once this prep, last prep I had been sick into my 3rd time by now. I'm determined to finish and get on that stage this time. I have begun thinking about the off-season, in which will probably be a nice long one. At least 6 months. We are thinking about doing some mountain hiking over the summer with my dad, maybe a triathlon, but definitely relaxing. I only took off a few weeks between seasons this time, and before that had dieted for about 2 years… I'll be ready to figure out what healthy living looks and feels like as part of real life, and not just prep life. And then figure out some future contests. As you all well know, I'm always looking to what's next. Which brings me to my next point…

We can all push and push harder. When you find yourself having a difficult time:

Focus only on what's next. Even in the minute details of your day, there is nothing more than what's next.

Sometimes it truly is all we can do from falling apart. But genuinely, if I fell apart I would have nothing to be proud of. Knowing that I'm staying in it although my life is more than difficult is all I have to be proud of and look forward to at this moment. And I know that when this is over, I will be that much stronger because I did choose to hold on.

I hope you all are having a great week and pushing hard. I'm trying to at least read everyone's blogs even if I don't comment. Miss and love you all! 8 weeks out!

10 Weeks Out: All Things Prep

LOL! Sooo.... I started this post TWO weeks ago. I can't believe I haven't posted since 13 weeks out!!! And I also can't believe I'm 10 weeks out! Holy shit... that freaks me out a little. lol I have a lot to say since I haven't talked to y'all... But I have to apologize and confess, I used to blog at work (I know, I know) however since being so busy, I haven't had time but then we have been without Internet at home, so there really hasn't been any opportune times to blog. Super lame.

I CAN'T!
Naw its just hard. I notice I'll be full in and hard on cardio, and my mind chimes in "I.... CAN'T!"
We struggle. That's life. We all have struggles, things we recognize that probably need changing whether we want to or not, or maybe that we desperately want to change. Prep gives off a different kind of struggle, and its different for everyone. My new mantra:

Work the plan. Live the plan. BE the plan.

1st ONLY Prep Sickness.

I got sick last week. And I think most of you remember how terribly I struggled with getting sick last prep, total of 5 separate times over 14 weeks. Yeah, it straight BLEW. Anyway, since I had pneumonia I worked REALLY hard not to get sick again. They say that after you have pneumonia, you're much more susceptible to getting it, so I wasn't really willing to go there.

Anyway, I got a sinus infection starting on Thursday. Sadly, I have been beyond swamped at work so I HAD to go in. I left early both Thursday and Friday and by Monday was feeling tons better. I was healthy for 4 straight months, and honestly was just so happy about that I hardly minded being sick.

Doesn't blowing your nose rock? As a little kid, my mom never really pushed us that when your nose is plugged, you blow it. In her defense, she was a single mom of 3 for a while. It took me until 27 years old to learn this lesson. BUT! Its awesome! I'm blowing my nose constantly, and since I've been sick I've been that gross sweaty chick who is blowing their nose on the treadmill and everyone around is going "EW! Why is she working out?! She should be home and not spreading her sick!" I'm not sick, I'm congested. Plus I wipe down my equipment well. Calm down, you crazy people.

Diet: I'm effing loving this.

Yeah, you read that right. I'm still being allowed some higher sugar veggies like squash and red pepper. I'm almost certain these will be cut in the next couple weeks. But how awesome! I'm getting all the way down to 10 weeks out and still loving on things I love?! Yes please.

I'm having absolutely no issues with getting the food down now, its really ALL being eaten within a matter of minutes.

Cardio: Beef. It's what's for Afternoon Snack.

Cardio has been awesome. I couldn't even say with more joy that I am still only on 45 minutes a DAY of cardio! Do you guys remember what my cardio was last time? Double that. All the way through.

However, here's my beef with running. I've been working on my athleticism and different goals within prep. Prep is a really good time to get better at any one thing (aside from strength lol) physically. You're dropping body fat, so your body can withstand your own weight more easily, you're hydrated, you're nourished, your body is operating completely clean. Anyway, I'm not a natural runner, but I want to be a better runner. I run every day, even threw out a 30 minute run on Thursday when I hadn't run that long since last prep. So, the first part of my beef is really just associated with having had pneumonia. My lungs still do not absorb as much oxygen as they used to, so maintaining a more intense pace and keeping my heart rate steady is difficult, I'm just going to have to BULK up my lungs. :) And by "bulk" I mean, run my ass off until I can't breathe and/or puke. Rinse and repeat.

The second part of my beef is mostly about my running technique. My girl Lisa gave me some good tips and I'm gonna make my way out to Fleet Feet, hopefully this weekend, so they can analyze my technique. I feel like my calves are working really hard. I had started feeling what I thought were shin splints right before prep, so I bought new shoes. However, it didn't go away. I think my foot is striking the ground in the wrong spot or I'm overstriding... Not sure yet, but I'll be excited to see the video that Fleet Feet takes!

Yeah. Running, we have a beef you and I. And it's gonna change this week, just a head's up.

Weights & Weight.
My weight sessions are rocking. I noticed only a slight decrease in strength, which I'm sure will only get worse in the next 10 weeks. :) However I'm incredibly sore EVERYWHERE. My legs are pretty much ready to secede from the union. I did hamstrings Tuesday, they were still sore Thursday when I hammered out that long run, and Friday they really wanted to kick me in the face when I pumped out some hard cardio and quads. No mercy on those babies. I'm seeing some definite changes in the areas I set out to work on in my short off-season, particularly in the abs. I can see the line down the middle, which I have NEVER had.

So, I am down to 113 lbs, which puts me at around 13% body fat. I've dropped 5 lbs in prep, and based on taking my measurements, I've lost an inch in my waist, a full inch off each of my thighs, and a HALF inch off my calves (big progress for me!). Which also means I have 10 more weeks to drop 7lbs. Sa-WEET! There is no room for fear when you're positive you're doing everything possible to obtain the impossible. And without further ado:


I seriously need to try to take pictures in better lighting. Also expecting my suit in a few more weeks, canNOT wait to be wearing that one!! :)

 I promise it won't be so long between blog posts. ;) I miss talking to all of you! Make sure you say hi to me on Twitter or Facebook! I'm ALWAYS on Twitter. Haha!

Have a great week CHAMPIONS! Don't sell yourself short of what you know you're capable of this week! Believe you're the best and workout accordingly! :)