Thursday, November 10, 2011

Are you fed up, yet?

Immediately after I posted my last post... I had to start this one. Last week, I found that I was FED UP. I mean, fed up isn't really a word... Its an idiom, for all you English snobs out there. But I looked it up on anyway:

Fed. verb
1. simple past tense and past particle of feed. Clearly, I have been fed. Thus the problem.

2. fed up, impatient; disgusted; bored: They were fed up with the same old routine. Impatient? LOL! Always... Disgusted? Most definitely. Bored? Yup!

The World English Dictionary says....
fed up
informal (usually postpositive) annoyed, discontented or bored. Discontented? Abso-freakin-lutely!

The Free says:
Fed up. Adjective. Unable or unwilling to put up with something any longer.

We are unable AND unwilling to put up with something any longer. What are you fed up with?

And speaking of fed up...
Sugar Detox.
Monday I started to notice the symptoms of Sugar Detox. Anyone else know this feeling? Gah I felt worse than I ever have for a detox. Headaches, weak, nausea, acne... It was bad. I barely ate dinner that night. And didn't even bother making my pre-sleep shake.

TRX Week.
HOLY COW. If you haven't ever tried any kind of TRX training... I STRONGLY encourage it. My shoulders, chest and lats, statically, were sore from supporting my core. But my abs... OMG MY ABS!!! They were sore for 3 full days after only a 25 minute ab circuit! Including OVER the ribs, from my sternum right down to my public bone, my upper obliques, my lower obliques, and my whole core from spine to belly button and back around. Maybe I'll do a video of my circuit sometime! Hummmm.... Maybe if I get enough requests. ;) Either way, this is going to be come at least a once a month thing for me.... Yeah, it was THAT good.

Mindset Change.
I got my body fat taken on Tuesday, and it was right where I expected to be... Right at 14%, which is fine with me. I'd say that is a very reasonable place to be, and I have only gained 5lbs. My LBM hasn't changed much since coming off prep... I was hoping working for a little gain, but still have December to work on that. However, I am positive that dollars to donuts (or egg whites, if you like) I will come in better shape, more conditioned, and leaner come contest time!

But considering my fed-up-ness, I had to think about some things. Although I was fed up with feeling fat...
I think I was more just feeling fed up with myself. The plan was to lean out this month and go thru another sort of bulking in December. After getting my body fat test, heading into the locker room, and looking at myself in the mirror... I found myself really SEEING myself in the mirror. Prior to that moment, when I was looking in the mirror I was seeing: the lovehandles that came back, the lack of definition, exactly where all the fat decided to go, and a person who couldn't live up to her word. 14% body fat is still lean.

And a memory came back to me as I stared into my own eyes. I was brought back to a place about mid-way through my weight loss journey where I was becoming fully engrossed into my Bikram Yoga practice. A moment where I felt like I was seeing myself for the first time. Vision undistorted. And choosing to like the person I saw. Choosing to like my body. And deciding that wherever I am today is perfect.

That being said, I'm not going to go into a cut for this month. I am choosing that where I am right now is perfect for right now. That's not saying I won't bust my ass in the gym! My focus is going to be working hard, drinking loads of water, eating well, and enjoying my off-season... Which only has 8 weeks left to it.

I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect, when where I am right now is perfect... but with the pressure also came the feelings of inadequacy. And maybe its okay to be fed up with the obsession of perfection. We aren't perfect. We can't strive to be perfect. We can only strive to be better than the day before. For me, that means relieving the pressure of perfection, and choosing to be happy with myself and with life!

What are you fed up with? How are you striving to be better?


  1. very well written post,girl!!!
    i can relate on so many levels!!!!
    keep up your positive mindset in regards to seeing yourself undistorted!
    i think that there may be many competitors who face these same thoughts and feelings,and even those not competing,but those who have are going through a weight loss journey themselves...

    enjoy your "off season" and continue being perfect!!

  2. Lacey, I just have to say that I love your posts. I find your entire journey so very inspiring. And thank you for always sending encouraging comments my way. I really appreciate the love that comes from your neighboring state. Enjoy yourself! Lots of love.

  3. Wow! And you see, I think you are so amazing! 14% body fat? I cannot even imagine getting there.
    Thank you for this post. You putting all that is in your head out there is really inspiring and helpful. You are amazing!
    I'm fed up with continuing to fall into old patterns with eating and such. I haven't fully developed a "competitor's" mindset yet.

  4. YES. Positive mindset is a woman's best friend. You are amazing and seeing how amazing you are lets you live out the amazingness.
    Love it.
    I also love TRX. lol!

  5. I’ve been using TRX on my workout, but couldn’t find a way to break through for next level

  6. This post is awesome for several reasons:
    1. You quoted the dictionary. As I'm an English snob, I thought that was awesome.
    2. You discussed a badass ab workout. Please share!
    3. You're accepting yourself for who you are and seeing yourself clearly. This is a skill that so many of us lack or choose to ignore in our quest to always be "perfect." But really, what's the definition of "perfect"? It's different for everyone, and at the core, it's unattainable. I admire you for seeing yourself and for loving yourself as you are. Keep up all your hard off-season work! It takes a LONG time to build up big muscles, not just one short month. You're on the right path for rocking the stage next year!

  7. I can’t wait to get my trx bands, so I can start my trx training

  8. Lately a lot of your posts put into words things I'm going through myself. Thank you for helping me see myself in a less-distorted way. :D

  9. I know exactly what you mean!! I remember feeling "fat" 2 weeks after my contest and I had only gained 5 lbs. Now I've put on close to 20 lbs and I don't feel fat anymore (big, large and muscular....yes. Fat? no.). It's all in your head and the term "fat" is VERY relative in OUR world. We know that you really aren't fat, nor am I. So....long story short, I know how you feel and I battle it off and on to this day and likely always will. You are not alone!!

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