Rollercoasters

In all reality, the only true thing for every competitor is that contest prep is a rollercoaster. One minute you find yourself so low that you barely know how to handle anything, the next you find yourself so amped about the progress you're making and just want more. And then the next hour, you feel like life is going soooo fast. And then later that night, life feels perfect. 


The ego and super-ego always seem to be at war. Because sometimes you'd be willing to slay a dragon for a cookie-dough ProMax bar and a cup of blueberries. Dragons don't exist. Delusional? Yes. Whatever.


The Lows.
What is that quote from the movie Dogma? Something like.. "I think its better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.."


And I guess a plan is just that, a plan. You can change it as time goes on. Then why do I feel like such a jerk when I cancel plans?

-Contests-
Well, so it turns out I'm not doing the Emerald Cup in Seattle on April 21st. Things have gone nutso in my personal life. Aside from getting engaged, it turns out Patrick is heading full force into his landscaping business. - "Bang's Lawn Care" -Which means we have no idea what our finances are going to look like this year. And in order to be sure that we can afford our wedding this year (which we are paying for ourselves), we both had to make sacrifices. And in my case, that means giving up one comp. I mean, we're gonna be saving on gas money, hotel expenses, hair expenses, tanning, etc. It can add up to a lot. 


BUT! I'm still going forward with the Empire Classic on April 28th. And that is extremely exciting for me…


The Highs.
because! Duh-da-da-DUHHHH (got that?)!!!! I hit my weight goal from the end of last prep, actually, I BEAT it! And on my birthday, no less! I hit 107.5lbs on Thursday the 22nd when I ended last prep at 108lbs, which puts me around 10.5% body fat. I haven't weighed myself since then and probably won't for 2 more weeks... I want to give myself the drive to make that scale move. AND I have 4 more weeks!! WHAT?!


I wonder what having ab definition and quad separation is going to feel like? :) Probably awesome!


I got in my new suit! :) I won't be posting a pic on here, gotta leave myself some kind of an edge over my competition. You never know who is lurking haha.


The Real. 
Cardio.
Still at 60 minutes a day! So excited that isn't 80 or 90 like last prep. But doing HIIT is getting difficult. Its taking quite a bit more focus to perform effectively. But also I have to admit that not focusing on my weight whatsoever, has helped me focus on getting enough water during cardio. I know its kinda silly, but my brain would subconsciously not have me drink water when I knew I was going to weigh myself soon.
 
Weights.
I have the strength of a wee girl. Seriously now, 10lb lateral raises for 15? Ugh. Bicep curls 10lbs for 15? Double ugh. However, the looks I get during Romanian Deadlifts from every woman in the gym is getting kinda funny with my booty and legs getting more shapely.
 
Diet.
I wish I had something more to say on this other than I'm hungry. Hungry, irritable, exhausted and indescribably happy. :) I've run out of SuperPump this week, which means I'm done with that for the rest of prep. I've also run out of whey as of today, which means I'm on whole foods. Mostly egg whites and fish right now. Casein gets phased out for food in 2 weeks. And I'm done with cheats! This is making me so excited to see what my body has in store! (I guess I had a lot more to say than I thought lol).

The simple fact that I feel like I have 4 weeks to NOT pay attention to my weight, gives me 4 weeks of straight progress. I'm liking what is going on with my abs, and I'm really liking what my legs are doing. I feel like my body is taking a shape that I like.
By the way, I'm still not putting out the idea of doing Figure someday. :)  


In Other News. 
My wedding planning checklist is telling me that now is a good time to start getting in shape. Good to know! ;)
 
Its true, this blog will probably have some wedding updates and such as time goes on. This off-season is going to be fun, but also its definitely going to be interesting in figuring out what real life looks like again. I've completely stopped tracking my food. This happened really because my iPhone broke (long story) and I had to be without my Food-Log App for a few days. And all of a sudden, I felt such freedom in just eating the right things! Last fall, I was completely freaked out about how I would handle adjusting into off-season. This time, I'm not even remotely nervous for it. 


But let's not get ahead of ourselves, there are many maple scones to be eaten. And many MANY a beer to be had!
 
Wedding Plans?
I am so excited to get married to Patrick. I mean, not to get all mushy and shit, but he genuinely wants me to have the kind of wedding I want… And he never minds discussing ideas and plans. I'm not stressed out, and I'm just enjoying this time. However, when I'm tired and hungry and its taking all of me to focus and just make it prepared to the next day... Its easy to be affected by people. Everyone has an opinion about what you SHOULD do, and honestly its making me not even want to think about planning. So, I'm pretty much putting off everything until after my competition. Sometimes you just have to focus on one thing at a time. 
 
Have a lovely week friends! I'm still stalking blogs even though I'm not always posting. I've got 28 days until this ride ends. Happy, very healthy, in love, and surrounded by people (even virtually) that support me! What else could I ask for? :)