To Think or Not To Think

I'm a stalker. Always in this board or that, just reading what people have going on and seeing if there is anyone out there that I can identify with and to offer some fit-encouragement. Recently in a board on FB, one particular comment was noticed upon reading that she felt certain things were funny that she did, but it was "all part of the lifestyle!"

Its very easy when you first get going on a healthy lifestyle to think about every. teeny. little. thing. To question whether something is effective and worth your time is a valid thought! Especially when we all have so little time to give.

In looking back at my own journey back into fitness, I did this all day long! If I was going to exert myself beyond my capacity, it had to be worth it. There had to be results and it HAD to continue to motivate me. I read all about weight lifting, techniques, rep schemes, effective cardio, watched videos on how to do a Push Press and learned what kind of training techniques would bring me results that I wanted. I researched supplements and found myself feeling adventurous!

As time went on, and I entered into prep, the diet became more rigorous and began to include food items that I wasn't used to and didn't always enjoy, and consequently, exclude items that made getting healthy the reason I had become successful. Fitness & my health became more about just trying to eat the things I was supposed to, instead of loving eating healthy.

Bad foods became a "can't have" instead of a "don't want."

Anyone who has done considerable dieting, knows that eventually you have to QUIT THINKING! Its one thing to think about something, and another to do. Managing your thought process will determine the outcome of your success. 

What happens when you overthink on the negative? You force yourself out of it. You begin thinking about all the things that can and will go wrong, so they do. It doesn't take an expert to tell you that will never move a person toward their goals. Definitely nothing good.

But it is also possible to overthink on the positive! You may find yourself day dreaming, scarcely getting through work, suffering from insomnia because your mind is so active you can no longer find rest. This can make you more tired and even somewhat miserable, because it takes SO Much focus to stay on task.

So, my suggestion: Quit thinking about it.

I have never wondered to myself, "I wonder if Erin Stern thinks about being healthy?" Of course she doesn't! Or do you think that Nicole Wilkins obsesses about what she can't have on prep? No. Healthy people, and people living a fitness lifestyle, don't think much about it because its simply routine.

Allow yourself to love the healthy, and to love the way your body and mind feels. Your mind can feel clearer, if you simply live.

So my only goal this prep: Is to live. Not think, and love the healthy life we have chosen for ourselves. I refuse to be scared, but to look forward to my workouts like I do in the off-season! 

My biggest mistake last prep, was that I spent way too much time with being concerned on all of the little things that I analyzed would help me achieve perfection, that I thought would help me get ahead, or that I thought was going wrong in my body, instead of living my life and loving my life! So much freedom. :)

18 Weeks Out: Off Season Gone in a Flash

There was a time, a few weeks ago, where I wasn't even sure if I was going to prep. I tend to get a little hard on myself, and the guilty feeling can weigh on a person like no other. However, it IS coming. I do not wish to continue wasting any more time... I want to see the improvements I have made in my muscularity, and I KNOW they are there! My booty is SUPA round... Am I itching to see some good booty contest photos? HELLS YES!

18 Weeks Out... From What?
I am currently 18 weeks out tomorrow from the Emerald Cup in Bellevue, WA (Seattle for those across the country). I have a few other shows I am considering, but really want to experience a big show like the Emerald. I am also considering the Empire Classic, which is the following weekend here in Spokane. A gf of mine wants to do the Tanji Johnson at the end of March, but I'm certain I won't be ready by then.

I have really been wanting to do the Emerald Cup (I cancelled on this last year due to a tight budget), and as we found out at my first competition last year, my muscularity is a bit more than the local shows. :)  At the Empire Classic, they were looking for a “softer” look in Bikini… (Side Rant: This seriously pisses me off. It’s an effing Body Building competition and judges were looking for a soft look?!) But I’m an adult and will be gracious about my placing (HAHA). It just goes to show that my physique would probably do better in a bigger show.

I've got a couple tricks (and perhaps a few more shows) up my sleeve, but we'll talk about that when the time comes. :)

Oh, improvement season.
Yeah sure, I liked my off season alright. A little too much some days. I can still barely imagine having gone through prep last year like I did. My work life went crazy and I'm a bit nervous about juggling it all again, in addition to Bang’s Lawn Care again… Which I fully expect to be busier than last year. Holy prep gods, help me.

But to be really honest, I found the off season just to be confusing! I almost felt like I ended up with a skewed view of food and working out. It took me a LONG time to not feel conflicted about eating a whole wheat english muffin with almond butter. And it took all of my mental strength not to use working out as a "punishment" for eating bad.

On the other hand, it was really nice to not NEED to be concerned with EVERYTHING! I slept in, I drank sugary coffees when I felt like it, I did lifts with NO CARDIO. Bliss.

Other bonuses about off season? Lifting heavy, bigger boobs, not being all shakey & depleted all the time. Oh yeah, and HAVING time!!

My main offseason focuses were the BOOTAY and my abs. I have had no abs to this point, and can't wait to see them poke out like little hawaiian sweet rolls (yeah, prep time=food analogies). And that ass has been hurting all year. I tried a difficult rep scheme & weekly schedule geared towards gains to see what I could pull out. I get accused of over-training ALL. The. Time. from people in the gym, but I'm not a huge believer in overtraining. I think its a lot more difficult to overtrain than people think. With proper nutrition, your body can do amazing things you couldn't even fathom.

That all being said, I trained my glutes 3x a week in my off season (Monday - quads/glutes, Weds- hams/glutes, Fri-glutes), and my abs 3x a week. Spaced all appropriately for rest, it was difficult and my legs always hurt. It is important to have the proper nutrition, sleep, and stretching if going this route! I will admit that I struggled with stretching toward the end of this year, and therefore hurt my SI (again) but this is a feasible thing if you're looking to make big improvements! Really hoping to see some big improvements in the leg overall! Quads, glutes, hams... I want it all!

Prep Time.
Lets go. Starting off nice and easy with low low cardio. Just nice, steady and consistent! I have a hard enough time getting the will to do cardio, so starting slow is my best bet. I’m starting at a higher weight this year, since I didn’t do as great of a job at keeping lean year round… Happy marriage weight! I guess it's just another chance to learn that lesson.

I’ve been dragging my heels a bit on the morning cardio, but it will happen! Diet is in lockdown, and I’m gearing up for a hard 5 months of training.

Who Makes Goals During Prep?
I want to know... Who out there has goals to reach within prep? Do you have a weight goal? Or a body fat goal? Are you looking for improvement photos?? I just want to know.

My top goal this prep, is to see improvements on my physique. I've continued to lift and lift a lot and lift a lot of heavy things, so I NEED to see what's under here. :) And the real improvement I want to see, is AGAIN the booty lol... I want stage Glutes better than this! (Justine Munro glutes, anyone?)

Let’s go BIKINI BEAST!!!

Quick List of Reasons to be Alive: November 28th, 2012.

I am really grumpy today. I'm trying to blame it on the full moon but I know what it really is... My body hurts.

I hate to sound like a complainer - and I HATE to be the constant complainer. But sometimes, you genuinely do hurt and things go wrong. Living in my body has been extremely tiring lately. I'm in pain from the moment I get up in the morning, feel the pain radiating in my legs, hips, & back all day long, and until I lay down at night. It gets more exhausting and I feel more hopeless as the days progress.

Since I hate complainers, and am trying to push this practice away from myself, I'm resurrecting my Quick List of Reasons to be Alive. And I don't mean that the alternative is not being alive & breathing... We're talking ALIVE as in thriving, happy and alert. The purpose is to retrain your mind to focus on the positive.

Try it yourself whenever you're feeling anything but happy, it really helps!

Without further adieu ---

Quick List of Reasons to be ALIVE: November 28th, 2012.
1. Because I am NOT a quitter and I am not weak.
2. Because the moment I conquer the pain will be sweet!
3. I have dreams and can't deny them the attempt to see reality!
4. I have a husband and family that need me to continue pushing.
5. Because I hate this pain and will do anything to kill it.

Hope you all are having a wonderful Wednesday! Push hard, keep smiling, and know that you are loved!

Suits For Sale!

Hey ladies! 

I'm selling a couple of suits - Always looking ahead into what I want to do with my look this year! ;)

Both are Suits For You pieces, with padded rounded B-Cup that would fit an A-C cup. Scrunch Back Bottoms fit a 0-2 jean, made for a 25 inch waist/around 32" hips.
Coral Lycra Suit - with Thin Silver Connectors, never worn on stage, paid $120 for it - will take $50 OBO.
The Burgundy suit -  Burgundy Mist Hologram fabric w/large silver connectors and Custom Crystal Galaxy detail. Was only worn once and was cleaned immediately after stage use. I paid $380 for the suit, will take $200 OBO.

Email me if interested! - AndAwaySheGoes@Yahoo.com - Never too early to think about a new suit for the upcoming season! :)

Down But Not Out (& Wedding Photos!)

Seems like this happens to me about once a year, where my body likes to remind me that I am not all powerful and to be humble. The onset of cold weather often makes my SI, hamstrings, and back tighten up which brings some immense pain. So, while I'm flat on my back... I'm planning some workouts, finishing a competition schedule for the spring, and put together a slideshow finally!

Enjoy!

Digging Deep

When one rarely posts anymore, one also has no clue how to start this thing! As you may or may not have noticed, I've barely been on here.. Blogging is a luxury I simply haven't had time for. With juggling such a crazy schedule, I feel bad for taking that time to sit and write. :( And blogger has been blocked at work (where I used to do my blogging... whuuups). Its so sad to me how busy I am, but there is no end to that in sight. Working approximately a 60 hour work week at the hospital, and another 5-10 to Bang's Lawn Care.

I found myself crying in a bath the other night just from feeling so weary and bummed that I barely see my new husband, and something in me made my heart realize that we work so hard to create a better future. The lessons I learned in prep, have also become useful in life lately.

Such a hard lesson to learn, but happiness is the best choice. Whatever situation you're in, choosing to go with the flow and still be happy with your life will make it seem so much more beautiful and fulfilling. 

Mrs. Bang.
Being Mrs. Bang is the shit though! So much fun to be had calling myself and being called Mrs. Bang... BWAHAHAHA! I don't even need a back up stripper name! LOL! ;) Teasing, teasing... I don't get the chance to say things like that working at a Catholic hospital.

My dear friend Madeleine married us, and we got married in front of this mantle that is now in our house!

hehe! Our guests rated our first kiss!

And! My husband is THE best. We are going through a transition with Bang's Lawn Care, into the end of the season so he is looking for Winter alternatives. Even with how busy I am, he takes the time to come have breakfast with me some days and has picked up the slack in chores. And nesting into our home has been so much fun.

Not sure who is interested in a Wedding post... If I get enough requests I'll put up some slide shows. ;)

OOH! You haven't met Anderson!

Such a cutie!

SUPER big puppy

Just a big baby, like all Danes :)

We got this pup a few weeks ago to keep Zeke company during the long days while we're both away. And they're pretty good buddies so far! :)

He is SO dang cute! He has the happiest, sunny personality... He wags his tail with his whole body, his paws are so big and heavy that he's really cute & clumsy, and he gives kisses like no body's business!

He's about 4 months old and I think a little over 50 lbs now. Might be a BIG boy! 

Like I always say, we have a little habit of getting in over our heads really quickly... Haha!

Digging Deep.
Now, while I am insanely busy... I am digging deep for my goals. Although I gained a little more fat than I wanted in my off-season, I have successfully added a couple pounds of muscle and I'm pretty sure its mostly in my legs & abs... Only time will tell as I am dropping fat. But my lil booty is tightening up in a big way! And I really just want to impress myself in the improvements I've made from last prep.

So, I'm thinking prep is going to start at the beginning of the year. I've got a few shows in mind but dates aren't tied down on all of them yet, and I want to be sure I'm ready! And knowing that I have a bit more fat to lose, I'm in the middle of a few weeks stint of "prep". Tightening up the diet and still pulling out 2-a-days.

It stinks! It means I get up at 4am and don't get home until after 6pm. But everyday I wake up and remind myself that I am working so hard to make a better future. I don't want to be in the same place I am right now in 5 years.

So I bust ass, try to juggle it all, try not to disappoint those I love, while not getting down on myself when I do... And sometimes... That's all you can do!

And I know you are all digging deep every day! What shows are you all planning on this year?? If you're not competing, what are your goals??

Hello Again, Hello

Not gonna lie, my mother has really rubbed Neil Diamond off onto my heart lately. Anyway, HIEEEE! I can't believe how long its been since I've blogged! In my (clearly delusional) head, I thought it had probably been about a month since I've blogged, and it has actually been TWO! Oh my, so much to catch up on!

Headless Chickens.
Figuratively. I'm going crazy up in over here! Where have I been? I've been everywhere, man. I don't even know where to start!

So, I have... OMG 16 days until I wed the love of my life.  I'm beyond thrilled, and haven't EVEN been stressed out about planning this shindig. 

But first!
Ah life. Its fun, isn't it? I am still working overtime at my hospital job. And our department is completely undergoing a whole restructurization... And the unexpected wonderful part about it... The employees have complete control.  I absolutely love working for an organization (although I don't always love the job itself) that will let their workers create what works! Because who knows better than the professionals that have their hand in it every day, versus management who only looks at it.

And also still working overtime at my un-paid, working-for-my-future job of Bang's Lawn Care. Over time, I have been able to create somewhat of a schedule for myself and develop processes that make it more efficient. Its been kind of crazy to create these things out of thin air and make it work! I've been able to get my work with BLC down to one day a week, which is always a weekend day to get all of these things done. And I've never done books/invoicing/scheduling/customer communications for a business before, so this is pulling from a very different place in my heart to do all of this. 

All of this to say, my weeks are JAM PACKED. Between PSHMC & BLC, am working about a 50-60 hour week, trying to plan a wedding, working out, meal prepping, and dealing with a naughty dog lately. Pure craziness.

The Dane.
Since you probably caught the naughty dog bit, yeah Zeke. This guy really needs a buddy. :( It makes me sad to think that he had a friend from the moment we brought him home, until Molly went to puppy heaven in May he has been all alone.  He's been acting out here and there.  I love the benefits to having one dog (especially when they're more like livestock), but poor Zekey is so lonely. We may be looking to stud him soon and get a pup. That boy is so handsome, he NEEDS to have puppies. :)

Wanna hear what he did on Monday night?  I woke up Tuesday morning to: A box of kleenex completely shredded apart, a lamp knocked almost into the toilet, AND....

He ate a whole batch. ONE DOZEN. vanilla, gluten-free cupcakes off the counter (which were covered!)  wrappers and all. Cripes. Pretty thankful they weren't chocolate. I really need to get a camera and get this shit documented. Can you imagine what that would have looked like?! NOM NOM NOM!! HAHAHAHA!

Ma-wage.
I'm sure some of you know, but I was married before. This blog actually blossomed out of finding myself after my 10 month marriage ended (my ex wasn't ready to be faithful/married to someone), and I'm SO glad I have had the opportunity to find the right person for me. The beautiful thing?  This experience in being engaged has been completely different, not stressful, completely loving and understanding and FUN...
It has made being engaged... seem like the first time. :)

I love everything that is coming together right now. Like I mentioned last time, we chose to go with a very "country chic" wedding. I love the shabby chic feel to things, and reusing old materials. Nothing matches, and I don't even have colors! LOL! Pinks, browns, creme, champagne, copper, bronze... Its going to be lovely.

With all of the "country chic" thing going on, we have had a TON of projects with this. We made ALL of our reception tables together, made lanterns, made our guestbook, made our party favors, made fun games for our guests, made signs, etc... But mostly, we have done them together. :) Awwww, sigh, swoon! Haha!

Hey BLOGGER, not sure if you knew or not but this STILL doesn't work!
Btw, these are our favors... Send us off with a BANG! HAHA!

Signs directing to our Wedding.

Homemade bouts!

I can't wait to show you all pictures! And it will be here soon enough!! :)

Wedd Shred.
Yeah, so I've been back into the full swing of workouts. Sometimes I try to make it to morning cardio, but never beat myself up if I don't. And really, shouldn't even try until after the wedding. This bride needs SLEEP! It took me quite a while to get to this place, mentally and emotionally.

Prep was a serious mind-fuck. Excuse my language, but it is! Finishing prep was a mental battle I wasn't prepared to deal with. I thought I was, but I wasn't. It took me a long time to where I was ready to say no to things again, feel good about moderation, look forward to my planned workouts again! My weight has been steady, and I'm fine with where I'm at right now. Regardless of goals, sometimes one just needs to rest in the love of working out.

And so speaking of goals, the one thing that brought me back to this place... Was finally watching my competition video. It took a couple of months post-comp to get it, but then I had it for months... And didn't watch it. I kept saying that I wasn't ready, didn't want to feel critical of myself on stage... Mostly I was just insecure...

And then I watched it.    And my mind was blown.   The person that I knew I was at that moment, came out and projected perfectly on stage and on camera. I was actually impressed with myself! I'll admit, that I had some feelings regarding my placing after watching it... However, it definitely brought a renewed zeal into my workouts. It isn't that I want to lose all of this weight I have gained, but more that I am perfectly capable of being whatever I want. And loving who I am as an athlete, and challenging myself because I like to... regardless of my weight or fat content. Or running because I enjoy the challenge, regardless of what it might do to my muscle mass. :)

Although I don't have an exact schedule down yet, I will tell you that I have a string of competitions planned for next year. Spring actually! It may only be September, but Christmas will be here before I know it and it will be time to prep again. Its actually hard NOT to prep right now, watching so many competitors get ready for a local competition occurring the same night as our wedding and watching pros on their journeys to the Olympia. 

Speaking of the Olympia, we may (or may not) be going! The Olympia takes place the week of our honeymoon and we may be popping through to watch a couple of nights of competitions and perhaps hit up the Expo! We'll see... Still trying to talk P into it. ;)

Can't promise I'll be able to blog again before the wedding... All of the big stuff is coming now! Rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and the wedding itself!