Cardio Bunny Woes (Alternate Title: Another Post About Why All People Benefit From Lifting)

How is it possible that although I'm working out, and my weight is declining by scale standards, that my body physically looks worse? No weightlifting, that's how.

Reason enough for me!

I weigh myself once a week, not really because I care, but sometimes it really can become a guide! In this instance, I'd rather have my weight be UP and look the same or tighter. Not exaggerating, my weight has declined, and my bo

Big Weight Loss Misconceptions.
All I have to say here is that cardio is not the cure-all in fat loss. Just like you can't eat whatever you want and expect to lose weight, and just like weight lifting won't make you bulky.

See example above, if you're eating right and doing your squats & lunges... you won't get big and bulky like male body builders... women do not produce enough testosterone for that. What you're left with are beautiful, toned, tight, round muscles... And do NOT tell me you don't want round glutes!

I miss the ass burn.
I miss doing legs at all. This being injured stuff is some bullshit. I am still on top of my diet, still doing cardio 3x a week with hot yoga the other 3 days a week... but man, do I ever miss lifting weights. Still working toward being able to lift in September, and hoping to the iron gods that I will be well enough to do so.

You know the whole saying "while you're sleeping, your competition is training" or any saying of the like? Yeah, its pretty much all that goes through my head.
               "I bet my competition just PR'd."
               "I bet the girls I will be standing next to are coming up on cardio 2 about now..."

Mostly this is theoretical contrition based on guilt from my injury. It was making me seriously depressed. Although I feel past the depressed stage, it definitely brings an anxiousness. Doing only cardio [which is only elliptical, there is no way I can do stairs or run, and I refuse to ever stationary bike again (vag pain + Hip inury = never EVER again!), so basically I feel like a sally] and hot yoga and walking only makes me feel complacent. Trying to enact the words of wisdom that every newbie competitor hears from their coach: Trust the Process.

Let's talk about this injury. It awesome!
And by awesome, I mean awful, but by saying awesome, it makes me feel a tad better about it. :) Gives me something to laugh about!

As mentioned above, I feel a remorseful over this injury. In hindsight, I should have been doing MORE yoga and MORE stretching if I was going to be lifting as heavy and doing as heavy of a workout-workload. Working legs 3x a week, requires more restorative work. And I wasn't prepared for that.

I have been seeing my doctor about it, and for a long time, we thought it was my SI (sacroiliac joint - remember, I do love anatomy & physiology!), but after working with my doctor and my chiropractor, it turns out to be my Piriformus (connects your sacrum to the greater trochanter of your femur). As you can see from the image, the sciatic nerve foramen - the holes your sciatic nerve goes through - are right all in there. Which explains the constant pains & numbness going down the outsides of my legs.

We still aren't quite sure what exactly it is, could be a miniscule tear or strain (same thing), either way, this has been a long healing period. If the pain doesn't go down after my rounds with chiropractic, the only thing to do is a round of steroid injections.

All of this to say...
You're lucky to have leg days, and be able to lift weights at all!

What is everyone doing for leg day these days?? PLEASE, let me live vicariously through all of you - Tell me what your current leg day looks like (can be as detailed as you like)!

A Short Lesson in Credentialing

I may or may not have ever mentioned this, but my chosen profession is physician credentialing. I got into it completely by accident, as I was simply looking for a hospital job. I had started out taking some nursing courses before figuring out that others' bodily fluids wasn't my game. But I loved learning about anatomy & physiology (hence my love of bodybuilding)! 

Given that I've been beyond swamped in my jobs, I figured what better time than to share how incredibly crazy and important positions like this are in the world. This is exactly how I feel that I fit in to the health care setting, and provide an invaluable service to patients: By not allowing questionable physicians even into our hospital or touch patients until they have proven their competence.

Although I technically just push a bunch of paper, it can be much more. There are days where I feel like a psychologist, myself, learning all about the psyche of a doctor. 

And then there are days where I feel like a detective, sorting through bullshit with logic to find questionable health care providers. 

Question of the Day: What do you call a doctor who graduated last in his class from medical school?

Answer: An M.D. Sad, but true. 

While I'm not here to train you on how to do my job, I am here to give you a small lesson in sorting through bullshit.  

There has been a physician who recently entered the ranks of the IFBB, who shall remain nameless for now, that I happen to know he/she is claiming to be a board certified physician who is IN FACT, not. I'm not here to tear this person down, or ruin their career (not like my little blog really could), but I do want to warn those out there willing to listen in how to sort through the information themselves.

Heatlhgrades.com - An excellent resource on doctors and hospitals. 

Google - believe it or not, a pretty good resource in finding just about anything on a doctor. And when it comes to their profession, rumors can be true.

RED FLAGS. Meaning, these are immediate flags to me to look deeper into this person's background... Not necessarily that these are poor practitioners.

-Solo Doctors: While you might think seeing a solo practitioner would be great, because it means they have an entrepreneurial spirit and are an expert - not always so. In my world, that usually means they do not work well with others, and do not want to be subject to evidence based peer review. Meaning, they don't want anyone reviewing their work and finding problems. Also, if you are having anything done by a solo provider, and something goes wrong, they usually cannot provide any kind of service to you in a hospital setting, as all providers must have 24 hour hospital coverage to their patients. If they don't have partners, they can't do that!

-Doctors claiming to be board or not board certified at all: Okay, first I should clarify my highlighted point.... All doctors are going to claim to be board certified, and mostly, they will be. If you ask about your doctor's board it should be something like American Board of XX (Orthopedic Surgery or Internal Medicine). Sometimes doctors will tell you they are board certified and they are truly falsifying (which you may not ever know, because it takes someone like me or your state's medical board to find out), or a doctor can become boarded in a less than reputable board... So like I said, it should be something like the above... If its like North American Board of Orthopedic Surgery  - QUESTION THAT! These boards are usually easy to pass, and are for the lesser trained/skilled/competent physician or surgeon. Unfortunately, sometimes when a doctor is practicing solo, they aren't held to any specific standards - because they have no partners checking holding them accountable. 

If a doctor is not board certified within, say, 8 years of graduating their residency or fellowship... I'd ask why. Don't be afraid to ask your doctors office if your doctor is board certified or not. The only exception I would make in this case, is if a doctor is within 5 years of retiring and they let it lapse - That's pretty reasonable.But other than that, this IS important. The American Boards are all governed by the American Medical Association and provide reasonable proof that your physician or surgeon is keeping up on their education, and new skills and practices among physicians in their area of study. 

-Providers doing something they are not trained in: My biggest fear on an airplane, is to hear a frantic attendant call overhead, "Is there a doctor on the plane???" Doctors are not one-size fits all. Yes, they all went to medical school and have basic training... but when a practitioner has been studying only 1 field for the last 30 years, they shouldn't be doing something else. A cardiologist cannot deliver babies, or should not anyway. 

My point here, is that it should concern you if you're seeing a family medicine doctor claim they also do cosmetic surgery. Doctors do not both go the medicine route and the surgery route. They are one or the other.

-Providers who are hesitant to answer questions about their background: I have a lot of patients call asking questions about their doctor. Unfortunately, being who I am, I can almost never release information on doctors other than the most basic info. However, their offices can release whatever they want. They should be able to tell if you if your doc is board certified, and in what. A lot of doctors take a personal interest in certain topics, like if you're an endocrinologist (the study of the endocrine system - hormones & glands) you might take a special interest in post-menopausal hypothyroidism, but many times only their offices will know this information. If they don't want to answer about his board (or other certifications), I would be very hesitant...

-STATE LICENSE: This is a little piece of information that you might want to hold onto, a LOT of state medical board queries, are FREE. Just Google "(Insert State) State Medical board" or "(insert state) state department of health". You may have to search and navigate a bit to find it, but you can usually find your doctor by name, and see the following:
- Name
- License Status
- License Expiration Date
-Actions (Sometimes. This is true in the state of Washington. We can view at any time any action the Medical Quality Assurance Commission, as its called here, has taken against the physician, what the case was, and what the outcome was. Seriously great knowledge to be able to find out on your practitioner.)

I basically protect people from guys like this ^ - I would flat out fire him as my doc.

Getting to the Point.

There are a lot of people out there, offering a lot of services... And we, as consumers, are left to trust businesses when they claim they are something or can do something. But the reality is, if someone is offering a service - they are there to make money. Most people do not ask to see credentials, but what if you had paid your trainer a heap of money... only to find out he/she wasn't really certified?? 

Have you asked your trainer HOW they are qualified to prep a competitor for a body building competition?? Before you fork over all your hard earned cash, and start choking down only boiled tilapia, make sure you know who your trainer is and what they are asking of you. You're not going to put a donut in your mouth just because a trainer told you it was calorie free, so make sure you know what they are about before you go taking their advice and wrecking your body just to do what you're told.

If anyone has a lot of time and money, I have a great business idea for this (And you guys know how often I get business ideas, which I offered to the NPC, btw... If they take this idea, I at least want the credit. They could call it the Bang System. HA!):
There is an online verification system for doctor credentials, in which I can verify their dates of residency and where, or that they even earned their medical degree - Its though the AMA - American Medical Association. It does cost money, but let's be honest... I'd be willing to pay $10 (or some nominal fee) in order to see my trainer was truly certified by a professional certifying board (In theory, Jacques, I've already tested your services and know you rock).  And the system could go further, trainers could pay to be listed on this query system showing what their specialties are, etc. I can just see it now...

You could query, simply by name and city of business and  perhaps get a little report that could say something like:

Trainer:  Lacey M. Bang, CPT Place of Business: Spokane, Washington (licensed to see clients in Spokane, Spokane Valley, Liberty Lake and Cheney, WA) Trained by: Online - Eastern Washington University - March 2013 Special Interests/Training: Trained to work with Diabetic patients, Certified Contest Prep Coach. Personal interest in NPC Bikini Posing/Coaching. *Trainer is up to date with on-going education as of 7/2013 Contact Information: Banging Bodies Consulting (TEE HEE!) 12345 W. 5th St. Ste. 300, Spokane,WA 99204 Phone: 509-555-5555 Email: Website: www.shesinyourface.blogspot.com Verified by the National Physique Committee 7/22/2013.

JUST SAYING! Obviously, it could be TONS more robust, or even more simple. But I think its a stellar idea. The NPC never responded to my inquiries, but my credentialing skills are up for hire! I'd rather my skills be used toward an industry I am passionate about. :) Plus, there is huge potential revenue in this... Possibly in the millions.

DEAR NPC  - CONTACT ME! or I might just patent this idea!!!

(Plus, NPC, this could potentially bring a large number of new competitors to the NPC... If people are only logging on to "verify" their trainer, they may navigate to other portions of the page and become interested in competing. Just a little nugget for thought).

PS - You could take this a couple of different routes too. The public could query a person individually, or by city to find all truly certified trainers in the area that do contest prep etc... This could help competitors who are looking for a new trainer find who is around them.

Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings, I've got plenty more things on my plate to worry about. I know that as an overweight person, I would have used this in a heartbeat back in the day when I first started training. So let's take a poll, would you use a service like this?!

The Struggle to Be More

I have been close yet distant, and vague yet detailed about my life. It’s so easy to show the best sides of one’s life, but not quite as easy to show the other sides. I think that I always feel that “everyone else is struggling, why would anyone want to listen to my struggle or hear me complain?” But I find myself in a more problematic predicament, that there is no way around. There is no way to change it, or sit around and hope that one day my schedule clears up so I can have my workout or blog time back.

Have you heard of the Facebook Depression? I was reading that its basically when you get depressed because you see all of the highlights of someone else’s life on their Facebook. Ha! Its true. I can’t tell you how many Stay at Home Mom’s Facebooks I stalk and Sigh at. Or see cute pictures of friends having a wonderful time with their cute kids, on the daily.

So, I’m just here to reiterate that my life isn’t always swell, and in fact, I struggle, I work and I know that most of you know where I’m at: Overstressed and injured with no time. And thus comes the struggle to be more.

We Support Each Other’s Dreams
There was a period of time where I could focus on my dreams completely, and then there was a period of time where I even had help achieving my dream. But right now, I’m in a period in life, where my husband needs my talents in order to achieve his dreams which is provide for our family and make us to be more than we currently are… but the journey is a lot longer than contest prep. It cannot be condensed into 12, 16 or even 20 weeks. In fact, this is now my life indefinitely.

When last year I anticipated that I would be busy, I did not stop to even consider the long term. I now work a 50 hour work week at my hospital job, and if I’m lucky, I only spend an extra 20 hours doing Administrative support for Bang’s Lawn Care. And I don’t earn a dime for this. And sometimes he needs help with jobs, which I also don’t get a cent for.

What I’m earning is a new life, a better life than what we have now. Supporting my husband’s dream has been even more challenging than trying for my own. This has meant endless meetings in order to learn accounting, learning all about owning a business, having employees and getting into radio advertising. I have become increasingly interested in Branding and Marketing, all to make this dream come true. Not to mention, just being a normal person and making time for anyone in my life is a huge struggle. One in which almost no one understands, and I get flack about it almost weekly – And I respond kindly, without excuses, even though that is not my first reaction.

But I’m Not Done!
And yet, when you spend all your time simply trying to make a living and support someone else’s dream… It’s not like yours goes anywhere. It’s still there. Inside my heart.Waiting for the time.

So this is the struggle. My heart feels the need to work toward my goals, even though I have almost no time to do so and have body limitations that are beyond my training knowledge. It’s depressing to look at workout plans and practically dissect them to weed out all of the exercises that are contraindicated for my conditions. Can’t squat. Can’t deadlift. Can’t machine hack squat. Can’t do some plyos. Can’t lunge. Can’t do any direct glute or hip work.

And don’t get me started on how long this has been. This has, by far, been the longest recovery period of my life. 6 months of hip healing, that has been incredibly painful both physically and mentally. I often feel lost.

In my lostness, there is a righteous anger. I’m fed up with hurting. Being in constant pain, makes me angry enough to work harder than I have in the past. I’m trying to work smarter and be in control of my plans… My plans that will be enacted the moment I have free time.

Upward and Onward

I’ve decided to no longer hide my struggles or hide my life. This blog IS about hard work isn’t it?? I'm weeding out the negatives in my life, and have decided to no longer spend my time "holding on". Because that is what it has seemed like. Holding on until the next moment where I can breathe and do what I want. But just like worry, there is no sense in being miserable if I don't have to be. And I definitely don't!

This now has to be what I want. In order for our business to become all that it can, and in order for me to achieve my own dreams, I have to want everything I have to do within each and every single day. I want to work. I want to do invoicing. And I NEED my workout time. I don't have time, I make time.

The Struggle to Be More
The interesting thing about life, is sometimes it requires you to become a better person. I never realized how incredibly selfish I was until my personal time was challenged, along with my patience, ego, commitment, and honor as a wife.

I'm struggling to be more of everything. Everything that life is requiring of me right now. Its almost like prep, you trust the plan that it will yield results. I rely solely on the hope that if I work hard and struggle long enough to be more... I will just be more.

Where do you struggle to be more than you are? How do you make yourself happy when committing your time to others??

25 Things You Didn't (Or Did) Know About Me

Just for some conversation and fun, here's 25 things you may or may not know about me. :)

1. After my first contest prep, I have not eaten a single piece of tilapia. And since my second contest prep, I have only eaten broccoli a handful of times.
2. My gag reflex is really strong.
3. I eat approximately 4 cucumbers a day - Love them! (In the past, this has been known to go up to 6 a day - btw, these are FULL of water as well as chondroitin which helps rebuild your joints!)
4. I have 4 sisters and adore all of them.

Jessica, Stephanie, myself, My mother Jan, Kasey, and Kari. Love. 

5. I wish all the time that I could see my sisters and their children more. They'll never know how often my thoughts go to them.
6. My first and third cars were Honda Civics. I now drive a Toyota 4Runner and will NEVER go back. I'm practically in love with that car.
7. I dream every single night, and usually remember my dreams. I get some of my best ideas through my dreams.
8. I think of new business possibilities for myself daily... But one day, (big dream) I'd like to own a coffee shop/bakery that sells high protein baked goods... and place it right by a bunch of gyms. :) I'd even do specialty protein shakes (because I make GOOD ones). I'd do protein coffees... I'd do vitamix shakes... Oh man...
9. I've tried to learn to knit at least 5 times, and usually re-start in the fall. One day I will get it!
10. It's likely that I could quote any miscellaneous line from Anchorman.
11. I HATE being on bad terms with anyone and will go out of my way to fix immediately.
12. Can't stand the smell of juniper or Gin - Otherwise known as Cat Piss. And I think my cat's pee actually smells better...
13. I have a thing for black cats. I'm not superstitious, more like I embrace the superstition.

14. I actually really just love animals. And frequently weep over our beautiful dane, Molly, that we lost last year.
15. I used to hope I'd turn out differently than my mother (because I'm the spitting image of her), but now I constantly wish I turn out more like her - especially with her patient nature.
16. I cannot find a workout buddy for the life of me! I can't even get my husband to lift with me... I've offered to be a workout buddy for lots of people, but it seems that in the PNW the fit people are loaners. One day I'll find a workout girlfriend so I can have any PR's.
17. I can't wear necklaces. I always want to, and will gawk over them at stores... but in reality, they bug my neck skin and I always take them off. The same with bracelets if I'm at work, they'll stay on if I'm at a social event. But never necklaces.
18. Lol sometimes I beat myself up for not being more girly. #17 case in point.
19. My favorite flower is peonies and wish I could plant them everywhere.
20. I cry a lot. I will spend whole yoga sessions crying and find myself spiritually struggling through a class. I always come out better. I swear, its better than therapy.
21. My dogs each weigh more than I do.
22. I can't stand people that yell at others. No one deserves to be depreciated.
23. My desk at work is ALWAYS tidy. I will lose things otherwise.
24. I have dreams about being able to squat 400 lbs. (Subconscious goal?)
25. The only diamonds I have ever received are from my husband when he proposed, to which I still beam over. I never thought I'd be worth diamonds to anyone. (You can catch me staring at it at any given moment of the day. It still makes me feel the exact same way as the day he put it on my finger.)

What's something about YOU that I don't know?? Would YOU workout with me?  (don't answer that. Most of you would kill me. lol)

Bringing Back the Body: Weeks 1 & 2

I'm super squishy! And yes, this makes me happy!! My fat is all soft all over, which I love because that means its starting to break down.

Bringing Back the Body - Week 1 has been a success, which means I am a success! But I made this week really easy on myself so compliance wouldn't be an issue and momentum will continue to pick up. I feel like my body is tightening up, and I haven't once had the temptation to weigh myself. My clothes are fitting better, and I even fit back into some size 2 pants! Okay, okay, they were snug, but we won't talk about that. ;)

Diet.
I'm following about the easiest diet plan ever. This may be something I come back to post-prep (whenever that may be)... While I don't believe in sharing meal plans, as everyone's should be customized to them only, I will say that this week... here is what I LOVE about my meal plan this week...

Funny story: I was at work a few days ago and finished off my shake during a meeting. Afterward, I  was talking to a doctor who inquired about my shake. After I described the ingredients he goes, "That's nice. I'm gonna go get a donut." No one realizes how tasty these really are! 

Breakfast: Spinach, cucumber, fruit & egg white shake. I usually use some fresh strawberries or frozen blueberries, but man... tasty treat on my way to work!

But be careful if you use blueberries... You may inadvertently look like a wino in the morning. Which is never a good thing.

I always have to go and learn things the hard way...

Workouts.
Although I want to say that my workouts were easy, they were not for me. TONS of core work, my back is so very sore and tight... but I'm doing my best to get in lots of stretches and yoga.

For example! I love to incorporate BodyRock workouts. I think those girls' bodies speak for themselves, and they are tight!! Today, I did the Don't Wake Me Up Workout with some asanas at the end, mostly the spine strengthening series. Check this out!

I did 4 rounds instead of 3, pushed my hardest when I could... but the squats at the end got kinda taxing on my back so I had to take it slow and steady. Concentrating hard on my form, and being less concerned with pumping out reps.     Busted my ass! ;)

Progress on Goals.
GOT MY GARDEN PLANTED! Ahhh country life. :)

Here's what I have planted, let's just hope I can keep it all alive: Sweet corn, kale, green onions, red onions, sweet onions, green beans, red leaf lettuce, green leaf lettuce, broccoli, cucumbers, carrots, red potatoes, spaghetti squash, watermelon, hothouse tomatoes, roma tomatoes, jalapenos, chives, rosemary, dill and cilantro!!! And my strawberries & raspberries came back from last year.

The only things I didn't plant that I still want to are asparagus, spinach & sweet potato. What is it about fresh home grown organic vegetables that I love?! Everything. Plain and simple. Everything.  (BTW, my hubs deserves major kudos - he put those huge raised beds made of rock together for me! AND he did all the dirt shoveling... AND!!!! He set up automatic timers to come on every 12 hours, so I don't even have to worry about watering. Just weed and pick veggies. Yes. - Mr. Bang, you just made a dream of mine come true.)

And prep...
Today marked one year from my first and only show. And I'm certainly getting that itch to get to work in starting a journey to the stage. I'm falling in love with girls' suits! I broke out my Cinderella heels, and have been aching to get to work on bigger lifts... But first things first, I really can't take it far until I'm out of the woodwork with my pain and tightness level.

Let's take a break and focus on some animal cuteness.... My babies.. 

Minka the snuggler

Andy hurt his foot a week ago and had to wear the Cone of Shame,  Zeke was keeping him company :)

Big dogs give big lovin.

Goals This Coming Week:

I did NOT make it to yoga these last two weeks. While I have been doing yoga at home, I'd really prefer to be making to a class where my form can be corrected. So, YES -> Yoga. 

Measuring. I have not been consistent about measuring my food, specifically the cream for my coffee and I have been eyeballing my brown rice. :) So, I'm gonna own up to that this week. Haha.

Posture! This past week I was walking to work, and as I was walking through a skywalk from the parking garage to the hospital, I noticed that I looked like I had a SEVERE bubble butt. And by that I mean, I think I was kind of hunching forward so it looked like my butt was really sticking out. And I think this is a hip flexor issue. So, this week... I vow to really try to stand up straight and walk with my hips forward, even if I have to walk slower. 

How many of you incorporate BodyRock type workouts into your workout schedule? If so, how often??

What are your goals this coming week?? If you haven't thought about it - Set some! It's a good practice to constantly have goals you're working toward! Have a wonderful weekend and week!! 

Changing My Capacity

I've recently received some random emails and comments on this blog and I just want to set one thing straight: I am not a trainer, nor do I claim to be.... And this blog, is for me. I'm not out here trying to get more followers or strengthen my brand as an athlete. Although its something I have wanted, I also need a place to express my feelings and sentiments... Judge if you wish, but this is a place for women to be empowered and find a friend in someone who struggles with their weight. I do not claim to be perfect, in fact, this is a major struggle of mine.

Please know, that if you visit this blog and need a friend in someone who battles with food issues, you will find it here. :) Also know, that if you visit this blog, I'm brutally honest about myself. Haha

Physical Therapy Status.

Ugh I hate talking about this. Not because I don't want to share, I just wish my news was a little bit more exciting. My SI strain is a slow healer. Originally my thoughts were to share my journey, but I'll be honest... Videos of me doing planks... Isn't like watching Erin Stern doing... anything. Jump squats, sprints, talking, anything. LOL! But seriously, isn't she amazing..

In discussing this journey, it really is the most boring, most basic, and yet most important work I could be doing. It has occurred to me that people who really do take it all the way back to basics, and work their strength back from the ground up, can have even more symmetrical bodies. 

And that is exactly what I'm doing! You want to talk basic? Let's talk 30 second planks, perfectly. Or doing balancing acts with only resistance bands. On one hand its completely humiliating, coming from a girl who once considered herself to be an athlete. At one point, I wondered if 8 separate exercises per body part with 4 sets a piece might  need to be cut back. LOL! 

But taking the time to basically start over in my fitness, is allowing me to fix any kind of muscular imbalances I have. I guess when I really first started lifting, I didn't work my core enough and now I'm on a mission to fix that. And maybe its cocky of me, but I think I'm going to have stellar abs when its all said and done. 

So, maybe a little humility was exactly what I needed. Don't take your own health and fitness for granted, that's the lesson to learn here.

Prep on the Brain.

All I can think about is prep lately. I'm sure it has something to do with all of my competitor-friends prepping, and I think its because I have achieved some clarity about what I would do differently next prep, and post-prep! But I think its also about the fact that I was my strongest at the end of last prep. Although depleted and completely weak, I was at my strongest. 

Changing my Capacity for All Things.

While I'm working intensely on the healing process, I'm also considering my goals and where I want to be. I'll be honest here, I didn't intend on gaining 20 lbs after prep and instead of beating myself up for it, its time to change it. I'm changing my capacity for it all. While life is so extremely busy (did I mention my husband got a job while our Lawn Care business is exploding?), I'm changing my capacity to take it all in and handle one thing at a time... But things for myself, above all else. 

During all of this, I've rearranged my schedule to allow myself consistency. Starting so so slow, with about the lowest cardio you could ask for: 10 minutes. It could be so easy to add in a bunch of cardio, and take my diet down to lose some poundage, but its times like this you must take advantage of your own metabolism. I don't mean abuse it, but let's be honest. My diet hasn't been 100% clean, and I'll be the first to admit that my workout schedule has been anywhere from 2-3 days a week for the last 9 months or so. NOT what I wanted for myself, but what I needed at the time. 

Since I know what my schedule has been, I don't need to add in a ton more for it to be effective on my metabolism. At this point, any consistent working out and clean eating will change my body. 

New Goals.

Entering the month of May, I've decided to take on some new goals. I'm a month away from my certification at work, so it will be time to take on some more. :) 

Bringing Back the Body Goal: I'm taking the next 12 weeks to put my clean eating skills to the test, with an easy meal plan and workout schedule. My goal is to add on a few pounds in muscle, and tighten up some inches. I no longer have any desire to have a weight goal, but more of a look I want. 

Prep Goal: I'd like to be able to prep again next winter, or sooner depending. 

Fitness Goals: This one in particular is long term, but I'd like to be able to squat 50 lbs again. 

I want to be able to run a 5K by the end of the summer.

This Week's Goals: Keep on with my nutribullet shakes (hell yeah!), commit to the new workout schedule, get my ass to yoga at least once (day of my choosing), and get my garden planted so I can make delicious organic home grown food this summer. :)

What are your coming goals?? :) If you're just coming out of prep, what are your goals post-comp??? Can't wait to hear what everyone is planning this summer!!

I Got Average.

Hey hey!

Life from my view..
Now, while I have been absent to this blog, I haven't been absent to life. I know I have stated before that I have just been incredibly busy (aren't we all?!), but most of it has been working overtime. MAJOR overtime. My workspace and the protocols in which we conduct our office has gone through a large over-haul which had begun during last prep and will likely continue through the next year to two years, and I have been a big player in creating new and innovative ideas that will reduce duplication and time-wasters.

Also! I've been studying for the certification of my position.. So anyway, my time is pretty limited.

Seasons.
I had thought at one time that if you truly love something, that is kept up all the time. Full-time, never goes away. EVAR. But when prep ended, I was flat burnt out. I couldn't even think about fitness and mostly didn't want to. I can tell you that I really really wanted to work out but was so short on time, because that's what I was telling myself. I kept trying to reinforce what I should be doing, and should be eating, created dozens of diet plans for myself, devised many cardio plans, and initiated some training plans... But this just wasn't the season for hard training.

And I was kidding myself. I could not just LET GO of what I wanted to use in life to make myself feel proud. Then I got injured. I strained my SI again. Which was probably the result of hard glute training and not enough stretching... And then just stopping the training.

When excessive behavior swings too far in to excess, we either 1-die or 2-change. And I've found that in the far excess, with enough desire to change, the pendulum finds itself on a swift path to the other side. And in that journey, I found myself passing over good healthy diets that kept me sane. I attempted diets that hooked me into results... which was fine at the time. Or so I thought it would be. Turns out I wasn't. Turns out when the metaphorical pendulum in me began to traverse back down, I lost the control to stop it.

Obviously the worst thing about all of this, isn't the weight gained. Of course it crosses my mind what people think about me.. They watched me lose 75 lbs, and then rebound back with 20 lbs post contest. And that hurts. Its honestly what has kept me away from this blog. I combat the embarrassment and anger all the time.

I whine about the season of life I'm in. I'll admit it. Right now I'm in the season of studying and working hard, which is honestly just as uncomfortable as prep was. To comfort where I actually wanted to be, which is the gym, is to eat and eat comfort food to make my day not so grueling. If it seems so opposite, that's because it is.

Its easy for some to say "Quit that behavior", but it is genuinely very difficult for some to do. Its a day to day struggle that I have to make a conscious decision on.

First of all, the back thing.
Yeah, so... 9 years ago I was a stupid kid who thought I was way better at rock climbing than I actually was. It was August and 100 degrees outside and I traversed a rock face that I had climbed before, but never without being roped in. Long story short, I ended up with a titanium cage around my spinal cord and a spinal fusion of the T12-L2. It still gives me issues to this day.

Recently my doctor found that there had been some loosening of my hardware which is causing me major muscle spasms. It feels like my whole Lat muscle on both sides has a charlie horse. ALL OVER IT. It sends electric pains down my legs. Needless to say it had me very worried. I talked to a neurosurgeon who felt that the risk of surgery would be greater than the benefit would be, so I am only to continue with physical therapy. I have always been afraid of this situation. Knowing what goes into surgical procedures is my job, and it is common knowledge that knee or hip replacements are only meant to last 10-15 years... How long could a spine replacement last?!

LUCKILY! This week, my overtime goes down and I start PT.

Well, I got average.
In all of this, I forgot my reason to be great. Since I have been in pain and forced to not lift, it was like a part of my soul had been forcibly taken. My standards fell, and so did my confidence. And thus, all my motivation.

I love the Biggest Loser, and seeing Jillian back!

I'm not interested in being a cardio bunny. Sure, I like a hard run, but I don't believe that ever doing one thing only will bring you good results. Our bodies were designed for adversity. Although I will not be running anytime soon, I crave the ability to sweat hard from a terribly hard workout. I can't even push my body that hard at this point. However, studies have shown that the best people, happiest, highest powered, most wise, recently wealthy, is due to the simple fact that they faced adversity and overcame it.

The same studies have shown that people who have everything handed to them in life, end up less wealthy, less wise, and more depressed. Excess isn't a positive thing when not earned. (I can certainly provide references, if someone REALLY has an issue with this statement. In which case, you're probably spoiled rotten. LOL!)

We CRAVE things to make ourselves proud.

And it isn't like I got overweight, I'm not. Just average.

But if there is anything I am positive about myself, is that I am not average.

So, in the coming weeks follow me on my journey to recovery. I will show what I am learning about keeping a healthy spine, and track my progress in getting back to my goal strength! I am less concerned about my body weight, as I am being strong and my body being functional.

Stay tuned!  First PT appointment & beginning progress pics this week!