Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Calming the Mind

Last night I was sitting at home (post-yoga) and realized that I was experiencing some missing of being married and started to go for some ice cream (what I call a "Red Light Food"). And then all of a sudden, I just didn't. I think missing marriage may have been just the idea that it's comfortable and secure. But then again, nothing is secure. And eating sure doesn't make you feel secure when you eat for anything other than hunger and nutrition. Then I felt happy again.

Nothing is forever. You live your whole life trying to kill yourself. Until you do. Even so you came in to this world with nothing, you will leave with nothing.

Justis, an instructor at the Bikram class I attend, always says that:

You live your whole life trying to kill yourself.

As someone who was raised Christian, that never sat right with me. Not that I disagree, but it must be the term "kill yourself."

But how true is it? Is anything we do truly good for our bodies? We smoke, we drink alcohol, we eat processed foods, Americans don't drink enough water, most people do not get the bare minimum of exercise they are supposed to. Yeah, I suppose we are trying to kill ourselves.

Comfort eating, when you eat to feel better
Punish eating, when you eat to punish yourself
Injury eating, when you eat to injure yourself
Eating to prevent further development
(the last two are probably more bi-products of one of the first two. Or both)

When I am stressed, I eat to comfort myself and to get that extra energy to go through (mental or emotional energy) what is needed to go through. To comfort myself I prefer ice cream. Processed sugar is not good for my system so I harm myself and then at yoga I can’t work as hard as I want to due to an “airy” stomach and this is a very good way to hinder development so I am punished for wanting to develop.

And so, eating the sugary and dairy filled ice cream starts this entire circle and chain of psychological events that all are interlinked together and triggers it to continue. The vicious circle, as they call it. I've never met "them", but "they" aren't wrong. The vicious circle kills.

Being aware is the first step towards the next step. :)

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