Friday, August 26, 2011

Changing Times!

Lots of things going on in my world currently. I feel so "matter of fact" about all of this, but I really don't have the time or energy to analyze everything anymore. :)

I've made a rather significant change, which I am EXTREMELY excited about... but I'm not going to be ready to share it until right before my comp. I just have to be careful to not let any negative-isms into my routine. My mind can and will run with any negativity. So be expecting a surprise around the time of my comp!

5 WEEKSSSS!!! I can't believe it and I'm half sweating it! Its just crazy! I am not and cannot count down the days. It freaks me the frank out. Weeks makes it seem longer and like I have more time, otherwise I freak out about not having enough time to make the necessary changes! And therefore do not sleep. Insomnia makes everything worse.

Training: I'm losing strength this week, 10 lb bicep curls, wtf?! Fail. I half thought it on Monday and it was certain on back day... 70lbs felt so so SO hard on the lat pulldown. On the positive side it is taking me less to get sore! lol!  I'm lifting less and my back, core, and triceps are sore. But my perserverance is still up, set out to only run 18 mins (and some stairmill after) on Tuesday and ended up running for 40! I may be wearing thin, but I am not wearing down!

Diet: No more cheatsies. :) But I'm kind of glad, still. I'm still glad that I now have the opportunity for 6 straight weeks to bring my absolute best package to the stage. I might be grumpy, but I am excited! Still completely off all artificial sweeteners... and still having crampy issues in the tummy while running. Its so weird. I cannot peg it to anything at this point. The only processed anything I am taking into my body is protein powder and supplements.

Posing: On the daily! :)
Not an actual pose, but just liked how this one showed my round shoulders!
5 Week Check In: Went well! Jacques was again satisfied with my progress and feel that I will be ready for competition. I hadn't planned on meeting with him until into the week, I just needed the encouragement. That has been making all the difference in the world, just the communication.

Appointments: I'm starting to get these down. Anyone have any suggestions for how to work with the tanner and do a photoshoot the day before? I should just do it the day after, but I want a good rest day on Sunday! I know what I need to book, I just don't know what my schedule will look like yet.

I love my boyfriend. He makes my life so much easier.
I've noticed, quite literally, that I lose fat from top to bottom. Srsly. My back is LEAN :
Blurry, but leansy!
but the rest of me is leaning out from top to bottom. Shoulders, lean. Boobs? Lean, ugh. Arms, lean. Stomach, losing it from top to bottom. Legs appear on the heavy side (small, but the majority of my fat hangs out there).
Insomnia has come back... I go to bed medicated now (Just about everyone I say this to suggests Melatonin, doesn't work for me. Have also tried Alka-Seltzer PM-Only works when I'm sick.) from a perscription around 830 and I don't fall asleep until after midnight. I get up at 345. Its become a problem again... anxiety about competing is just getting me! I've never been great in front of loads of people, but this is a fear I want to conquer!
I had measurements taken and such. Weight is around 111.5 lbs... which if I am doing my math right and have retained the same amount of muscle (which is unlikely, I've likely lost a tad during cardio), that puts me at 13.2% bf. Not super important, but kinda nice to know!

I wrote a little breakup letter to my fat, wanna hear it? (shush, I'm carb deprived and desperate for my hard work to show)

"Dear fat,
You have kind of become a free-loader. You spend your time wasting away under the skin around my hips and tummy, and you definitely aren't pulling your weight like the rest of my body. I mean, you are only really functional in emergency situations, which doesn't make you valuable it makes you annoying. I think its time you've found a new residence somewhere outside my body because let's be honest... this relationship just isn't working out for either of us. I don't and can't continually feed you so you can thrive, and you both weigh me down and aren't flattering to have hanging around when I want to wear a bathing suit. I mean for the love of sweet baby Jesus on Christmas morning, NO ONE LIKES YOU! You have T-Minus 37 days to get all your shit and get the hell out.

Have a fabulous weekend everyone! If I don't respond to your posts, please know that I'm reading & thinking about you all!
STAY TUNED IN for the next 5 weeks and a fun surprise!!


  1. You are looking great! Time is going to start to fly! Love the updates....keep it up! Show time is around the corner!

  2. oh i can totally relate to the "weak feeling" so close to a show! compleatly normal,as with insomnia!
    GREAT pics btw-your back is looking GREAT! and your obliques are shwoing through and yor shoulders are starting to get capped as well...yeeeeeeee!
    5 weeks will def go by FAST! sop just sit tight and hang on this crazy train ride!!!!

  3. Really a break up letter to you "fat".....nut, I swear, tell your trainer you need a few more carbs per day. :) You are looking great! Love the shoulder shot, nice and round. Back lean mean machine. You have got this!!!

  4. Love the breakup letter! You said you're still having crampy issues - protein powder has dairy in it. Maybe you have a food allergy to dairy? It can definitely have those effects.

    I really recommend doing any photoshoots AFTER the show. Before the show, you need to be resting as much as possible. Let your body relax and fill out. Moving around at a shoot is not relaxing. Also, after you shower off the top coat of tan, it leaves behind a very nice, natural looking tan. The color that looks really good in photos.

    And finally - your progress pics look fabulous! Especially your back! I'm so impressed!

    Keep up the great work!!

  5. Can't wait to hear about your surprise! And love the breakup letter! Too funny!!