Donloree inspires me. And her posts seem to never come at a better time, with one today that brought me to tears.
I could go on and on explaining it away, but really it comes down to what I do with that information. To recap, I have been alone. And I feel alone. I'm stressed, I'm tired, and I over-analyze everything in effort to feel better. But what I have focused on are really the symptoms, and not the sickness.
"I am firmly on the wagon of clean eating, working out, positive thinking, and a disciplined life; but I am all alone on the wagon and its my fault. Somewhere on the journey I decided that I was strong enough to get the wagon out of all the potholes that are in the road of life and that I don’t need any help." -Donloree Hoffman -Figure Competitor
Something I have realized in this small area of Washington state, is that figure competing is relatively unknown. I have one friend who is very interested in fitness and loads of friends who just think I'm body obsessive. I realized a month or two ago, that I haven't been a very good friend - and actually, a selfish friend. I've worked on trying to reach out to my friends who do support me... but I need them to reach back.
What I'm trying to say is: I need YOU as much as you need me.
Hello. My name is Lacey Davis. I am a figure competitor and I struggle with:
- Self-doubt & self-loathing. I almost never feel good enough. For anyone or anything.
- Stress. I
sometimesOFTEN feel like I have nothing to look forward to in life because stress weighs me down so heavily.
- Not blaming problems on my Handsome. Poor guy, he takes the brunt of a lot of my frustration. Not to make excuses, this is probably a bi-product of everything else.
- Following through Goals. See #1.
- Independence. I see myself as a burden to others, so I try to do everything myself.
- Friends. I would love deep female relationships, but I somehow see myself as a burden.
- Coping with change. I won't apologize, I miss my cat... he was my baby and I miss him immensely.
- Depression. This is due to all of the above... adding up.
Please reach out to me if you've been feeling the same, struggle with any of those issues, or really just need someone to talk to. Even if we can't figure out our issues, at least let me be your friend and give you support in figuring it out.
email@example.com. I look forward to talking with you!