Monday, May 23, 2011

Reaching For Help

-Making this clear for my family: This is in regards to my fitness goals.

Donloree inspires me. And her posts seem to never come at a better time, with one today that brought me to tears.

I could go on and on explaining it away, but really it comes down to what I do with that information. To recap, I have been alone. And I feel alone. I'm stressed, I'm tired, and I over-analyze everything in effort to feel better. But what I have focused on are really the symptoms, and not the sickness.

"I am firmly on the wagon of clean eating, working out, positive thinking, and a disciplined life; but I am all alone on the wagon and its my fault. Somewhere on the journey I decided that I was strong enough to get the wagon out of all the potholes that are in the road of life and that I don’t need any help." -Donloree Hoffman -Figure Competitor

Something I have realized in this small area of Washington state, is that figure competing is relatively unknown. I have one friend who is very interested in fitness and loads of friends who just think I'm body obsessive. I realized a month or two ago, that I haven't been a very good friend - and actually, a selfish friend. I've worked on trying to reach out to my friends who do support me... but I need them to reach back.

What I'm trying to say is: I need YOU as much as you need me.

Hello. My name is Lacey Davis. I am a figure competitor and I struggle with:
  • Self-doubt & self-loathing. I almost never feel good enough. For anyone or anything.
  • Stress. I sometimes OFTEN feel like I have nothing to look forward to in life because stress weighs me down so heavily.
  • Not blaming problems on my Handsome. Poor guy, he takes the brunt of a lot of my frustration. Not to make excuses, this is probably a bi-product of everything else.
  • Following through Goals. See #1.
  • Independence. I see myself as a burden to others, so I try to do everything myself.
  • Friends. I would love deep female relationships, but I somehow see myself as a burden.
  • Coping with change. I won't apologize, I miss my cat... he was my baby and I miss him immensely.
  • Depression. This is due to all of the above... adding up.
I'm putting myself out there. I want to change and need to change. Things cannot stay the same; I need to progress. I may not know how others can help me right now, if you think you can I'd love your help. Meanwhile, I want you all to consider me your friend... because I think I can be a great one.

Please reach out to me if you've been feeling the same, struggle with any of those issues, or really just need someone to talk to. Even if we can't figure out our issues, at least let me be your friend and give you support in figuring it out.
We can all work to point each other towards success or failure. Let me help you towards success. :) Email me at any time at andawayshegoes@yahoo.com. I look forward to talking with you!

8 comments:

  1. Lacey,
    I think we all feel that way from time to time. Just this weekend, the one person I thought knew me best and understood it all proved to not know and really not want to talk abou it. So what do we do? Not quite sure, but it won't stop me. Maybe one day soon I will meet my competitor match and have that blessed friendship in person. Don't feel like you are not getting anywhere or not reaching us in Blogerland because you are and your blog does make a difference. Keep on keeping on and when the time is right someone will be put in your path. :)

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  2. Lacey, I feel that way sometimes too. My thoughts go out to you. I've been struggling mostly, with the lack of girlfriends in my life, I"ve changed a lot in the past couple of years and my girlfriends didn't follow the same direction. I'll drop you an email one of these days! xoxo

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  3. agree with the other commenters here!
    will def be shooting you an email from time to time!!!

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  4. I find I often follow the same pattern - right down to letting all the frustration pop out at my darling husband. I don't have any answers, but what is starting to work for me is to put ME first. Not just time or money on myself, but learning to say what I want. The risk is great, but the reward is greater.

    Good luck with the inner you!

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  5. One great book that I have read in the past couple of yeard and that I read over and over again is The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.

    This book really help me out to see life differently.

    I would recommend to anyone to read it.

    Oh and thanks cause while I went on her site I saw that she has a new book out called the Power. One that I will be getting.

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  6. I very much relate. I have gotten into much self-loathing as I've gotten older; life just isn't at all what I had planned and looked forward to. I'm single too so I've lost girlfriends to marriage.

    (I'm in WA, btw. Seattle.)

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  7. Kandee! I love thinking that I may meet other figure bloggers someday. :) And you're close! I have sisters over there... A sister in Federal Way and another in Duvall. Word up to the west side! ;)

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