Monday, September 27, 2010

Smiling happy.. Punch someone in the face..

Weight 121.8 lbs... And as 121 was my original goal, I'm feeling pretty good. However, my body doesn't feel like I expected it to at 121... So I am going to try to gain a little muscle and take off a little more fat. I want to look... AMAZING in my dress in November. ;) And buy boots. Boots are the big one.

But mostly I feel like punching someone in the face.
I feel annoyed that everywhere I turn I just can't get a break on eating. I want this to be easy dammit! ESPECIALLY with the people around me who are "trying to lose weight." They keep coming up with excuses and celebrations. Boss just asked if we could all go out to lunch sometime soon... NO! I don't want to go to the Davenport and be seduced by prime rib and fatty sandwiches. I just want to sit at work and hate my banana, almonds and carrots for lunch. Leave me alone! (not you guys, but the peeps that try to tear this down).
This was my meal last week. Seriously, I eat a lot of chicken, always a veggie and sweet potatoes (sometimes mashed)... but it seriously is awesome!
And I feel pretty bummed about this... My studio owner is herself a Bikram Certified Teacher. But her studio is not, as there are no Bikram studios in the little city of Spokane, WA. However, the style she teaches is pure Bikram and she's very strict on the dialogue. So, the plan was to apply for the scholarship to Spring teacher training... But I can't. Turns out, that since she doesn't own a Bikram studio, she can't endorse me.
Boss, I love your yoga but you really piss me off. I am trying to be respectful but this whole deal just sounds like you're trying to make money out of all of this... NOT help people. Grrr! What the hell did people do when Bikram was JUST starting out! Its just lame. I have the utmost respect for Boss but I am not happy with him right now... Because honestly, I can't afford the THOUSANDS of dollars to go through training as well as afford to be off work. My Handsome thinks we can, but I feel rather depressed about it.
I think I need to blog about the random things that make me happy... So many things feel so overwhelming right now.

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